I find myself
Here again
Down and broken
Looking within
Where did I stray
From this path?
How do I clean
This Aftermath?
How do I keep
From THIS again?
Where am I going?
What's the plan?
I'm tired of failing,
I CRAVE success.
I give it my all
I try my best!
Yet circumstances
Beyond control
Effect the way
Life's dice roll.
So I pick up the pieces
Dust off the dirt
And I keep on trucking
No matter the hurt.

She was a carefree soul
in an uptight world
Just trying to fit in.
Looking for love
in all the right places
that's how her story begins

Her mama didn't want her,
Her daddy didn't know her,
so she ran away
Looking for love
in all the wrong places
as she does to this day

Men her daddy's age
Drug are all the rage
Disco *****, Stripper Poles,
Needles and Sin

Married at 18
seemed like the right thing
drugs, an abortion, then a baby girl.
Why she had me
I'll never know
I didn't fit into her world

She found love
in the form of a son
for a time it was enough
A walk with God
She claimed she was on
But satan called her bluff.

Many men, any age
Drugs are still all the rage.
Barstools, Stripper poles
Needles and sin

She left us
at an early age,
Teenage girl and boys times 2
Searching for happiness
in all the wrong places
is watch she HAD to do.

Being a mother
To my little brothers
We got through life ok.
Hoping and dreaming
wishing and praying
Our mother would find her way.

All these men, every age,
Ice is now all the rage
Sleepless nights, alcoholic life,
Needles and Sin

On the streets
is where she lives
druggies are her friends.
Countless ways
to try to save her
But there is no end.

Is this the life
she dreamt of having
All that time ago?
A beautiful daughter, two talented sons
and grandkids she'll never know.

Any man, whatever age
Homelessness all the rage.
Self deception, mind corruption
Needles and sin.

I'm a little shy
And kinda loud
A natural leader
And very proud
Brown Eyed Girl
An attractive face
A little clutzy
And not much grace
Born Again Christian
Because my God saves
Nothing in this world
Can take His place
I have 3 amazing children
Who I absolutely adore
I'm starting to wonder
Maybe I want more??
Health and fitness
Is what I do
Teaching kids at church
I love to do too :)
That's me, y'all
In a nutshell
Want to know more?
Ask and I'll tell

Finding love
is hard for me
Forever single
Is what I'll be
I start to fall
and get too close
They hit the breaks
Then hit some hoes
I leave them be
Then one day
"I made wrong choice"
Is what they say
Pushed away once
is all it takes
to relive
past mistakes
My standards high
Demand respect
I know my worth
And still yet
Loneliness comes
Late at night
and sometimes feelings
are hard to fight
True love IS
What I want
No need to lie
No need to front
Enjoy the chase
Not rush too fast
And maybe one day
It will last

What is love
A four letter word
is it a decision, a feeling
Or maybe a verb?
Can you feel it in your gut
or maybe circling in your head?
Can you find it in the store
Or find it in your bed?
Does it change with the weather
Or like a plant grow?
Does it flutter like butterflies
or will it never go?
Is it a grand affair
Like the Town Parade?
Or is a secret,
a silly game fools play?
Is it the scent of a flower
a most breath taking bloom?
Or a smell so rancid
it can clear the room
Love to me
is sweeter than air
A feeling no words
can even compare
covers you like a blanket
of the purest white snow
The love that I feel
will never want to go
But make life better
us against them
and should we fall
get up and do it again
Its the sweetest smelling flowers
gardens for miles
It's a colorful sunset
Whatever to make you smile
Its not found at the store
or in a bar, or your bed
It's a conscious decision
choices made in my head
Because feelings lie
and marriage is dead.
I could be like the world
But I'll do Proverbs 31:10 instead.

The intensity of your eyes

Your sweet little lies

The girl I despise

The softness of your touch

The way we….

I want it so much

Feelings felt by the weak

Awkwardness when we speak

From Outgoing to meek

Can’t play with my heart

Emotions still play their part

I knew from the start

You were Trouble

Lord, it's me, Callie Dee
You must think I'm REALLY strong
I'm not sure I can handle all of this
But, I hope you prove me wrong
Sometimes things get the best of me, Father
And I just don't know what to do
I just have to sit and be still, Lord
And always look towards you
We're all poor, broken, sinners
In this world, looking for love
I already know, no greater love
than that from above
I have lacked no good thing, Father
Since the day I sought your face
And Oh! The chills just thinking
Of Your never ending grace!!
It was the best thing I ever did
When I gave up and let You in
There was a battle for my soul, Father
How could I NOT let you win?
Sometimes I need reminding
Of where I've gone and who I've been
Then I'm overwhelmed by your blessings
I mean, where do I begin?
First, You sent Your Son, Jesus
Who died for ALL of our sins
The night I tried to take my life, Father
You didn't let Satan win.
My three beautiful children
Let's not forget about them.
I could write forever of Your blessings
The list would never end!
So, when I start feeling like Job
I already know what to do
Never cease to sing Your praise
After all, I was made for you

I thought you wanted me
but I've done this before
Where I start to catch feelings
And they head for the door
So confused by my choices
So sick of this place
So tired of my heart pounding
When I see your face
Erase all the memories
Convinced they're all lies
Ignore that look I thought
I saw in your eyes
I will just keep going
But the hard truth is
It's hard to pretend
That you don't exist.

Mama, I know just now
I made you really mad
And what I did today
Was something that was bad.

But mama, I also know
The way you hit's not right
And that is just the reason
I put up such a fight

Hitting me across the face
And kicking me in the back
Is considered child abuse
That is just a fact

But mama, I love you anyway
I just don't understand
Why I take second place
To any given man

You sleep naked in his bed
I'm in a strange place, all alone
When all I really want
Is to be in bed at home

I don't even know his name
Tomorrow is someone new
Though I'm very little, I know
It's not a motherly thing to do

And mama, those things you call me
Hurt my heart and soul
The damage you have caused
I bet you'll never know

But mama, I still love you
Even if you hurt me so
Cause mama I have Jesus
Who hugs me and won't let go

I know I shouldn't think about you
But i am.
Thoughts of kissing your face
And holding your hand
I'm at the spot
where we first met
And no I haven't
forgotten yet
How it feels
to hold you close and
What part of me
You like the most and
Your presence
Haunts my dreams and
It's never
As good as it seems yet
Something about you
Keeps me here.
Thinking of you and
Wanting you near.
You never said
A proper good bye
And all those feelings
Were not a lie but
I don't know
where we stand so I
Play it cool and
Just pretend that
You are not
On my mind and
I know I shouldn't
Think about you.
All the time but...
I am.

Anxiety overtakes me
It gets harder to breath
Worry circles my head
So I get on my knees
"Help me, Father!"
I start to plead
"I can't do this alone
You are what I need!"
With prayer and thanksgiving
I sing Your praise
Then the peace of my Father
Takes anxiety's place

I look just like
another girl,
My hair all done
A string of pearls.
But inside is
a heart of steel.  
No misconceptions,
I know the deal.
I hung with boys
and we played rough.
My heart's been broken
it healed back tough.  
I've been here before,
I'll walk these miles
With my lady like manners
and my sweet Texas Smile.

Find the beauty
in the pain
and watch it wash away.

Take the pain
makes you feel
helps you know what is real.

Forever changed
Not the same
Refuse to play the game.

One less thought
One less stop
One less day of shame.