I skirt the edges of humanity,
a lone wolf, incalculable
in silent black dresses that flutter
and colossal ideas that squirm,
yearning to see themselves
reflected back in the moonlight.

You shift on my horizons,
a quiet place amidst the swell
of violent noise and clenched teeth,
and something in you keeps
drawing me back- a magnetism.
I walk amongst your leaves,
feel your scattered light,
and it is calm. It is home.

You see me, not the smiling
daguerreotype that I paste up,
but deeper- inky black and serpentine,
with feelings that swell
and burst like balloons.

We tread lightly over the bones
of things we've left unsaid,
our eyes reflecting mirror images
of words that swim and satiate
this primal thirst, a spark
of unconventional
connectivity.

Wasted days hang like corpses
in the five second pause
between our lips
and thick melancholia spreads
through my bones
with thoughts of
what should have been.

I want to tell you that I'm sorry,
but that's not quite right-
I want to give you the oceans
that press against my seams
and bend with weighted remorse.


I want to tell you that I've missed you,
but that's not quite right, either.
you have been missing from me
and I've been sticking these leftover pieces
together with chewing gum
and bits of dental floss,
blindly trying to recreate
a feeling from shadows and memory.

I want to tell you that I've changed my mind,
but this one sits like a lump in my throat.
I haven't changed my mind
because it's never really left you.
I've been looking through this camera obscura
at all of the things I thought I knew
and I missed the ghost of an idea,
patiently waiting for an eloquent realization-

It's always been you.

the trees whisper
rustling, gilded intonations-
spilling secrets like honey
into the productive blue sky.
sunlight lurches through the trees
and cracks my foolish skull,
sending all of the thoughts
I had left alone in there
spilling over the golden
dappled forest floor.

you seep into my periphery,
delicate and half formed
amongst the moss and the earthworms.
I smile at the exoskeletons of
decaying memories;
crawl, crustacean-like,
sifting for something more tender-

dredging up phantom images
that flutter lazily across my eyelashes
and come to rest in greedy palms.
breathless mirth
and incorrigible melancholy
commingle in your shadow
and hold me fast.

you and I live and breathe
in the same stratosphere
and I don't quite know how
to let it go.

I miss you, and the words
twist around my fingers
like a rosary, pausing
at the accidental stutter
of my naked heart.

Lately I've thought
that I was becoming
quite skilled at building walls
and burning bridges.
It starts to feel natural
after you do it so many times,
with every new lover.
new beginnings
always looked so appealing.

And then something shifted
as you smiled at me;
and I panicked as I felt
the walls crumbling
and something like love
seeped in and held me fast.

I let the words that sit
festering in my brain
pour out into the space
between our lips
and you drank them in
like water,
gifting me with
sweet repose
like an inconspicuous
land mine.

when the water calls, go.
even if it's eight degrees
and your boots slip
as you crunch across
the sand and snow
towards waves that roar
and crash like metal shavings.

even as the wind whips
your unsuspecting face,
sending showers of
frozen sand to play
amongst your eyelashes.

even as your feeble eyes flicker
and try to absorb all of this
spectacular frozen wrath
before the wind swallows up
your air and forces you
to look away, gasping
with ecstasy,

smiling like a maniac
as the tears freeze
on your porcelain cheeks.
my god, you've never
felt so alive.

she slides her finger
along a seashell's iridescence
and takes a four-second breath
when it's edges break skin-
undecidedly feeling like a rag doll;
devoid of happy moving hands
and a barrage of stitches
where her mouth once parted.

it has never been enough,
gliding over this shining meniscus
with feet painted rose gold
and eyes propped open with twigs.

alas, she crosses her toes
and falls into the surf,
awakening slate grey waves
and a smile full of sand.

I've run myself ragged
chasing phantoms
and false prophets.
Willing ignorance
and somber idolatry
runs amok throughout
the trails that I leave
and I am not sorry.

I will not settle
for cheap emotions
and halfway love.
I need to feel it
radiating from every pore,
overflowing from each
long, pale fingertip
like sweet honey.

I need it to be real,
so thick that it's tangible,
instilling feelings akin
to those that lilacs
and wild lupine stir.

I need it to be
you and I
moving onward
and upwards
as two birds
in unison.

I need it to be
breathtakingly
ordinary.