My angel.
My darling.
My sweet.
My friend.
My baby.
My dear.
My precious.
And My love.
Be in My life.
Forever.

I am only soft for you.
I am only warm for you.
I am only beautiful for you.
I am only better for you.
I am only happy for you.
I am only proud for you.
I am only strong for you.
I am only alive for you.
And I am only here for you.

Numbness how did you come to hold,
So strong a grasp that's crushed my soul?
How did you rob me, strong and vain,
and now you linger where once was pain,
Like Fire raging without control,
How dare you spread and steal my soul
What right have you in me reside,
Now void of passion, love, and pride?
And day by day I feel you grow,
my feelings lost and memories go
At least with pain, struggle, and strife,
they serve reminders as part of life,
But now you stay,I feel no more,
And without feeling, Life is bore.

When will My Protector come for me?
Must I call out it's name?
Can it stop the venom streaming through my veins?
Why do I depend on another being?
My Father, will you help me?
Will you be My Protector I desire, I need?
My Protector, may I fall asleep?
May I fall into a slumber of rest until my body has been drained of the toxin?
My Creator, can you not hear me?

I envy butterflies.
Watch how they fly.
They way their wings twirl,
As if they are painting a silhouette.
Its breathtaking.
Their color bounces off the sun's light, giving the insect a beauty that is hard to find.
A true, natural beauty.
They move like a dance,
fluttering in such sweetness to each flower.
I envy the flower.
With each visit from a butterfly comes the reward of a kiss.
The butterfly kiss.
A kiss that holds such warmth and love.
All from a butterfly.

You were suppose to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight, now I'm physically sick of your touch.
You were suppose to be there for me when the boys would break my heart, now you are the murderer who killed my heart.
You were suppose to tell me everything is going to be okay when I cry, now you are the reason why I drown my face in tears.
You were suppose to fight all the monsters that would come out at night, now you are the demon I am trying to fight.
You were suppose to be my father, now you are my enemy.
Thank you Dad, for everything.

i want adventure.
i want to be unpredictable.
i want excitement.
i want action.
i want love.
i want the freedom to say and do whatever i want.
i want knowledge and understanding.
i want to witness the most majestic thing in the world.
i want to be a mother to not only my children but to a stranger.
i want to make a difference.
i want to help where it is needed.
i want to give my time to everyone, everything, everyday.
i want to be remembered as a woman who was loved and shared that love.
i want to meet my maker.
i want to tell Him, " i never wanted anything more than to be here with You."

Cry.
I can't spill out my tears.
Breathe.
My lungs have given up.
Love.
I am numb.
Smile.
It brings pain to my face.
Scream.
Nothing comes out but air.
Pray.
I don't believe anymore.
Speak.
My words are hidden beneath the lies I voice.
Feel.
There's nothing to touch.
Run.
I cannot leave them.
Die.**
No.