In your neon green Victoria Secret sweats
And tight-fitted, light-weight hot pink running sneakers
    Hair slicked back in an even ponytail
               With the cigarette carelessly hanging out of your mouth

You look as if the world is a bore to you, and would probably tell me
That my size 7 curves will probably **** me one day
And my response would be that your lifestyle
           Imitating a factory located in Pittsburgh will probably do the same
                                               to us both

But at least my curves have the decency to only cling to me
and not roam about in the air.

My mouse is frozen
But all the gifs are going
A blogger's haiku

I could create art –
In the physical way –
And put lines on paper that take on your form
And decorate it with blood spatter
As I show your eyes drained of life,
That smirk on your face erased,
That haughty aura doused;
Just as I had dreamt it to be

The girls with rusty voices are so poetic
And I am neither a song bird, nor a gutsy girl who just finished her 5th cigarette
I’m a little too nasally and high pitched
For even words to make me beautiful

I don’t know where to write this
So you won’t find it
I just want you to love me
I’m so angry and sad that my tears are violent
And hot
And hurt
And I want to change
And fix me
And be worth loving

But I don’t blame you
I’m not worth loving

I’m shaking
And breathing heavy
Oh my God what’s happening to me?
My lungs feel like they’re being crushed
My heart feels like it’s trying to rip right out of my chest to escape this dungeon that is me

What have I become

I’m harmless
And harmful
And full of rage
And full of love

You don’t understand
You’ll never understand
And I can’t make you
But I sure wish you could

I want to scream
But I lost all sensation in my spur of bewilderment
It got ****** away in a black hole of existentialism the other day
And I just couldn’t bring myself to run after it

So I let the last tear I cried roll down my cheek
Blinked
Sighed
And fell asleep

*goodnight

Him: I wouldn’t mind giving this a shot
Her: You know it would never work out
Him: Why not?
Her: Because, we’re both die hard romantics. There’d be no one here to keep us grounded. We’d end up floating away from the earth, and eventually from each other.
Him: I’ve always dreamed of flying

I remeber the smile I had on my face
     when I thought you finally found the beauty
            in my flaws

      Until months of analyzing caused me to realize
                 the beauty you saw was not in me,
                                                          but yourself

I wish to one day be interesting
But what is it I should do -
Perhaps I'll wear a vibrant headdress and stay here as my skin burns away in the desert and my bones deteriorate
My face will remain in the shape of this gaping half smile, trying to lure you in
And my eyes will be lost in this wild attempt
And you'll be lost with them, as you stare into the darkness that was once their home and realize this is all that I ever was
Would this intrigue you

Have you ever tried to fall asleep half kissed?
It's as if while you lay there in bed, you know you need someone to hold onto you, or you will fall, or drift away

But no one is there to to be your anchor

And so night after night you sink
As the storm tossles the sea above
And when you try to cry out for help - a lifeline - the salty water stings your throat and burns your eyes
And your tears are the last bit of humanity in yourself you remember
Before the dark ocean settles you to the bottom
And you forever lie there
Forgotten, and half kissed

My head rests against the same soft, familiar pillow.
My eyes are hidden by the same familiar silk mask.
I pull the same familiar ,warm, embracing blankets.
And I dream the same familiar dreams.

I’m walking down a path.
Not secluded, but very natural.
Trees are twinkling in the pure sunlight from the early morning dew.
The field is shining, bathing in the sun’s perfect warmth
Superb beauty is around.
As I walk along I grab a hand.

A safe hand, one that belongs to my protector.
His pace slows to keep by my side, though his steps could take him double the length of mine.
We continue our adventure

I listen to the birds singing, screaming words of twitterpation.
I see a small ball of red fluff. This young bird catches my attention
As it floats to a branch not far away, it lands next to another bird, one with a more subdued color.
Their eyes meet and the one that I spotted before drifts slowly in the air.
It appears now that it’s a male, explaining his radiant coat
It starts to hover in the air with strong, fluid motions.
The eyes of these two creatures never look away from each other
The flying dance stops.
Suddenly the two fly away together.
I understand now.
It was a courtship dance.
A sign of love.
These two will never part now.
It’s sealed in the eyes of these woods. Of nature. Of beauty. Of perfection. Of Heaven.
I only wish my protector makes such a gesture towards me.
We continue walking.

A little while later we stop to rest upon a few large boulders.
Eroded to flawless rotundity.
They’re grey, but far from boring, because when I look harder I see that the minerals sparkle ever
so subtly in the light.
Beauty in the smallest way.
The day starts to grow dark.
A blackness takes over, interrupted when the moon fully rises and the starts come out from
hiding.
Without warning a burst of lightning fills the space around us.

I'll knock you down and then kiss your face.
I'll destroy homes and turn around to play with some leaves.
I travel high and I travel low.
I travel fast and I travel slow.
I am a menace and I am a guard.
I am a gift and I am a curse.
I can make your pictures just that much better, or ruin your hair for the rest of the day.
I can guide you towarrds the right direction and I can cause mania that can keep you lost and dazed forever.
I’ll never leave you, but I will not always be there.
I can power cities and I can tear them to the ground .
I can be a silent observer or violent participant.

I'm just a friendly no-face who is deeply misunderstood.

Who am I?
I'm a messed up girl who tries way too hard.
I' m impulsive, moody, and really insecure.
I don't trust very easily, and I always think I'm about to lose someone.
I always see my flaws, and sometimes make them up.
I'll never think my stomach is small enough, or my smile is pretty enough, but I still manage to get one on my face.
I whine and complain, this is true.
Jealousy is my mortal enemy, along the few on my unfavorable list. Yes, I'm sure we all have a mental list of those who did us wrong.
I always want to make everyone happy, but I always think I'm just bothering them.
I'm shy underneath all these attempts to make you think otherwise. Being outgoing doesn't mean you're confident, and doesn't mean you're not shy.
I love with everything I've got.
When I fall, I fall hard, in a metaphorical and literal way. I'm quite a clumsy girl. Can't go a day without walking into some.
I'll make you angry, but I'll make you happy too.
You may want to just scream your head off at me, but I can also make you laugh.
Don't give up on me please, cause I'm still trying not to give up on myself.
I get really nervous at times. Full on panic attacks at others.
I'm extremely indecisive. I get distracted easily sometimes.
But I’m also a good listener, and will be here whenever advice is needed.
I hate being alone, afraid of it even. Sometimes I think it's fate though.
I’m rarely an open book, very hard to understand. I so badly wish to be understood though.
I’m scared of showing emotions, because experience has shown me they’re just no good to have.

In the end, I'm clearly imperfect.
But I'm working on it.

One day I might be strong
One day I may be graceful
One day I might just learn to breathe, let go and move on
One day I might not fear being alone so much, just because I know I can handle it
Yes I still hope someone will be there, by my side, someone who knows how much I've tried, changed and overcome.

Someday, I'd like to show you the girl I can be, instead of telling you about the girl I want to be.

Without the lights on it’s quieter, it’s colder
The darkness consumes, the light flees away scared of its shadow it leave somewhere else on the other side, only to be chased away again
Their lives are revolving around each other
Meshing into one

You’ll feel so cold when the light is gone
The dark becomes your only friend
Fair-weathered game is what your heart becomes

And does it care?
No.
It will laugh at your weakness and grin at its power.
Can you handle it?
Only time will tell.
The time it will take to find the light again.

All are born of darkness, but all seek out the light But where the light guides Is only to the dark

The dark will seek you out
The light is hard to find
The dark will swim around you
The light will slip away
You’ll always want to have it ‘til you realize the effort that is needed Only the strong stay light, but soon their light will smolder too

All light runs All darkness chases. And soon you just may have both

Secret messages that I once understood
Lines and curves that held some meaning
What is it?
Nonsense that was once beyond scholars
Masterpieces now riddled with dust
Will I ever remember?

Time changes everything
Time changes great dreams to forgotten memories
A good man cold
And new eyes blind

Was I once happy?
With these things created in my mind?
They make me feel warmth hear laughter
But all i see is confusion and mess

These once before dreams are like a kite
Soaring, beaming with these bright colors
Then one day it falls, smashes to the ground crumpled, forgotten, and dull

I’m still staring at it
all this paper muddled with hieroglyphics of my past
Craziness that was once pure logic
And all I can do is stare My mind hurdling over barriers of my memory, only to fall in the end Empty handed and disappointed

Do you understand? No, I didn’t think you would.

Each monster grabbed me by a shoulder
I struggled, I cursed them, I spit through my teeth the venomous words of a desperate hostage

But the words were immediately lost in the dark cold prison chamber they threw me in
I mutter "*******" one more time
They laugh
Low..meniacle
A torturing sound

They bordered up all the windows
There's no light
And the only sign of life is my beating heart, once
pounding with anxiety, now slowing..with fear

what do they want?
I sat there
I started counting
One...two...
Crash
A storm...

It's not far away

We lived on hard liquor avenue
Sat outside the bar every night
Just to have the alcoholic smell seep into our clothes
And watch the people go round and round, listening to the captivating music play

The stuff we've been mesmerized by and can't let go of

We're the reminder of where you don't want to be
Too young to be in these parts
But we're just lost here anyways

I lost control a long time ago..
Gave my soul up to Commercial St.

I wish you'd give it a title, a name for the beast that kills
So my soul could be ripped apart a bit more every time I read it
Your words burning away at my heart
Like claws gutting at a demon's chest

I would have rather been sliced in two, poisoned, or mangled by unspeakable creatures....
Than to die of a broken heart
There's no mercy in that

You show you care in crazy silly ways
Like teaching me how to punch your arm better so I don't break my thumb in the process

Thank you,
but I'll keep an open palm now
So we can do our awesome high fives instead
Or maybe you can just put yours within mine
Or I can just use them to aid me in a warm embrace

You taught me about tolerant love

40 years of history
Rock & Roll and parties
Influencong both the no names and the great names

Black Country born
Where I bet you met a mean Black Country Woman
Did she hurt you bad?
Leaving beer on your face
Oh well, she could have lived in your garden

I think it's crazy
Elvis, really?
I never would have guessed
Who were you at ten years old?

Later you left the bright boys for the men of blues, good choice
Met the man with the axe that finally chopped away the cord from who you were
You weren't difficult, just struggling
The flock banded together, ready to fly

I'm sorry about your boy
Too young
I wish you could have been there
But I'm sure he knows he has all your love

By the way, I think I like your words the best
Vikings and Tolkein tales mystify me
Oh, and all the ***

How was Morocco?
I hear the sun just beats down on your face
And your eyes get filled with sand
But maybe I'll let you take me there

And from there I'll follow you up to Heaven
I'd rather take the stairs
But don't look to the west
I'd hate to see you cry

By the way, did you know they call you a god?
How fitting in your land of thunder, lightning, and sweat
Stand right up front, lest you miss a second of it
You sure have showmanship when you put on your elaborate robes of blue, gold, and purple

I'm sorry the thunder died
Since you couldn't hear it anymore you thought to teach young minds
But how could you really stick with that?
No, thats's not you
So you went back
By yourself
How bold
But you missed the good old days, didn't you?
Just the thought of when you were kings made you salivate, like honey dripping from your mouth
So for a second you went back to letting the kingdom gather to hear your melodic speeches
There's nothing former about you

I'm so glad you refused to be a joke
Not letting anyone come to the conclusion you were all washed up
Didn't become anyone's show to direct either

Sorry the love is gone though
And all the crazy, **** passions
But you still look good together

So I guess this is my way of showing my appreciation
No, my admiration
For a legend
A king

Thank you

It's 1:00 AM now
I'm lonely
I'm so exhausted I can't see straight
I'm cold even though it's ninety plus outside
The air is so thick you can feel it wrap around, slide it's fingers around your face, suffocate
But I don't want to think about it
So I turn over and grab a bottle,
Pop a pill and swallow

I whisper goodnight to no one, except the brutal air

But it's 2:30 now
And I've seen no signs of my long lost lover I call sleep
Why won't they come to bed with me?
I dressed up just for the occasion, dawned in a tight and lacy navy blue tank top, catching the shape of my ******* perfectly, and cotton shorts of the same colour
But even this won't bait my lover
So I grab the bottle again and think to myself, "what's three more?"

4:15 and I finally feel my eyelashes start to flutter
I purr a little and notice everything starts to lose shape
I see in the distance what can only be my lover
He finally curled up to me tonight

*With his fingers around my throat

One more stupid obstacle
I tried to share my soul
Tell strangers what I think
And prove you wrong

but my request was forbidden...

Today, like almost every other day, I thought to myself, "maybe I'll write today"
And, though like every other time the thought passed through my mind I scoffed at it, I actually decided it might be worth it
I looked around, found paper in my favorite yellow folder, and was almost ready
Then I remembered one of the most important pieces, the pencil
The only way I'd get anything to come alive, instead of distracting myself and turning this almost poem into a paper airplane

Here's the irony my friend; I couldn't find one
I looked and looked for a while but just couldn't find one
Sure, I found pens, but I'm a pencil purist,  or perhaps I don't have the courage to write in pen
Yet, for some unknown reason I became determined, and by a stroke of luck I found a pencil, hidden beneath a broken painting in the corner of the room

Eureka!, Aha!, and any other exclamation that may fit

I sat on the bed, got close to the papers, as always with my once typical writer's stance, clutched the instrument in my hand, and soon found the mechanical devil had no lead
Was the universe sending a sign?
I really thought so
I thought some greater force wanted me to just stop, really quit for good this time
Then I kind of realized something; What does the universe care if I write a bad poem or not?
No, it wouldn't
So I got up and looked again
And ya know what? It didn't take so long to find the second pencil, it was right where I found the first one
It had plenty of lead in it too, enough to write maybe ten more poems, good or bad
The eraser is wearing thin though, a reminder of my past mistakes

This isn't easy
There are tears on the paper
Like little oceans trying to get in the way
Like this poem is going to go down like the Titanic
But this poem isn't the Titanic
It wasn't thought to be beautiful and revolutionary when first created, I knew it would be mediocre at best
And if this poem goes crashing down it won't be a travesty, and millions won't be hurt
No, I'll just frown a bit
Also, I'm hoping this poem gets to where it needs to, unlike the Titanic

My hand is shaking as I write this nothingness down
The evidence is in my bad handwriting
And this page that was so crisp and clean before is wrinkled, smudged, and defaced
And a little damp
And do you know how I feel now that it's coming to a close?
A little better


I decided not to rip this one up