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Caitlin Driscoll Sep 2012
My head rests against the same soft, familiar pillow.
My eyes are hidden by the same familiar silk mask.
I pull the same familiar ,warm, embracing blankets.
And I dream the same familiar dreams.

I’m walking down a path.
Not secluded, but very natural.
Trees are twinkling in the pure sunlight from the early morning dew.
The field is shining, bathing in the sun’s perfect warmth
Superb beauty is around.
As I walk along I grab a hand.

A safe hand, one that belongs to my protector.
His pace slows to keep by my side, though his steps could take him double the length of mine.
We continue our adventure

I listen to the birds singing, screaming words of twitterpation.
I see a small ball of red fluff. This young bird catches my attention
As it floats to a branch not far away, it lands next to another bird, one with a more subdued color.
Their eyes meet and the one that I spotted before drifts slowly in the air.
It appears now that it’s a male, explaining his radiant coat
It starts to hover in the air with strong, fluid motions.
The eyes of these two creatures never look away from each other
The flying dance stops.
Suddenly the two fly away together.
I understand now.
It was a courtship dance.
A sign of love.
These two will never part now.
It’s sealed in the eyes of these woods. Of nature. Of beauty. Of perfection. Of Heaven.
I only wish my protector makes such a gesture towards me.
We continue walking.

A little while later we stop to rest upon a few large boulders.
Eroded to flawless rotundity.
They’re grey, but far from boring, because when I look harder I see that the minerals sparkle ever
so subtly in the light.
Beauty in the smallest way.
The day starts to grow dark.
A blackness takes over, interrupted when the moon fully rises and the starts come out from
hiding.
Without warning a burst of lightning fills the space around us.
Caitlin Driscoll Aug 2012
I'll knock you down and then kiss your face.
I'll destroy homes and turn around to play with some leaves.
I travel high and I travel low.
I travel fast and I travel slow.
I am a menace and I am a guard.
I am a gift and I am a curse.
I can make your pictures just that much better, or ruin your hair for the rest of the day.
I can guide you towarrds the right direction and I can cause mania that can keep you lost and dazed forever.
I’ll never leave you, but I will not always be there.
I can power cities and I can tear them to the ground .
I can be a silent observer or violent participant.

I'm just a friendly no-face who is deeply misunderstood.
Caitlin Driscoll Aug 2012
Who am I?
I'm a messed up girl who tries way too hard.
I' m impulsive, moody, and really insecure.
I don't trust very easily, and I always think I'm about to lose someone.
I always see my flaws, and sometimes make them up.
I'll never think my stomach is small enough, or my smile is pretty enough, but I still manage to get one on my face.
I whine and complain, this is true.
Jealousy is my mortal enemy, along the few on my unfavorable list. Yes, I'm sure we all have a mental list of those who did us wrong.
I always want to make everyone happy, but I always think I'm just bothering them.
I'm shy underneath all these attempts to make you think otherwise. Being outgoing doesn't mean you're confident, and doesn't mean you're not shy.
I love with everything I've got.
When I fall, I fall hard, in a metaphorical and literal way. I'm quite a clumsy girl. Can't go a day without walking into some.
I'll make you angry, but I'll make you happy too.
You may want to just scream your head off at me, but I can also make you laugh.
Don't give up on me please, cause I'm still trying not to give up on myself.
I get really nervous at times. Full on panic attacks at others.
I'm extremely indecisive. I get distracted easily sometimes.
But I’m also a good listener, and will be here whenever advice is needed.
I hate being alone, afraid of it even. Sometimes I think it's fate though.
I’m rarely an open book, very hard to understand. I so badly wish to be understood though.
I’m scared of showing emotions, because experience has shown me they’re just no good to have.

In the end, I'm clearly imperfect.
But I'm working on it.

One day I might be strong
One day I may be graceful
One day I might just learn to breathe, let go and move on
One day I might not fear being alone so much, just because I know I can handle it
Yes I still hope someone will be there, by my side, someone who knows how much I've tried, changed and overcome.

Someday, I'd like to show you the girl I can be, instead of telling you about the girl I want to be.
Caitlin Driscoll Aug 2012
Without the lights on it’s quieter, it’s colder
The darkness consumes, the light flees away scared of its shadow it leave somewhere else on the other side, only to be chased away again
Their lives are revolving around each other
Meshing into one

You’ll feel so cold when the light is gone
The dark becomes your only friend
Fair-weathered game is what your heart becomes

And does it care?
No.
It will laugh at your weakness and grin at its power.
Can you handle it?
Only time will tell.
The time it will take to find the light again.

All are born of darkness, but all seek out the light But where the light guides Is only to the dark

The dark will seek you out
The light is hard to find
The dark will swim around you
The light will slip away
You’ll always want to have it ‘til you realize the effort that is needed Only the strong stay light, but soon their light will smolder too

All light runs All darkness chases. And soon you just may have both
Caitlin Driscoll Aug 2012
Secret messages that I once understood
Lines and curves that held some meaning
What is it?
Nonsense that was once beyond scholars
Masterpieces now riddled with dust
Will I ever remember?

Time changes everything
Time changes great dreams to forgotten memories
A good man cold
And new eyes blind

Was I once happy?
With these things created in my mind?
They make me feel warmth hear laughter
But all i see is confusion and mess

These once before dreams are like a kite
Soaring, beaming with these bright colors
Then one day it falls, smashes to the ground crumpled, forgotten, and dull

I’m still staring at it
all this paper muddled with hieroglyphics of my past
Craziness that was once pure logic
And all I can do is stare My mind hurdling over barriers of my memory, only to fall in the end Empty handed and disappointed

Do you understand? No, I didn’t think you would.
Caitlin Driscoll Aug 2012
Each monster grabbed me by a shoulder
I struggled, I cursed them, I spit through my teeth the venomous words of a desperate hostage

But the words were immediately lost in the dark cold prison chamber they threw me in
I mutter "*******" one more time
They laugh
Low..meniacle
A torturing sound

They bordered up all the windows
There's no light
And the only sign of life is my beating heart, once
pounding with anxiety, now slowing..with fear

what do they want?
I sat there
I started counting
One...two...
Crash
A storm...

It's not far away
Caitlin Driscoll Aug 2012
We lived on hard liquor avenue
Sat outside the bar every night
Just to have the alcoholic smell seep into our clothes
And watch the people go round and round, listening to the captivating music play

The stuff we've been mesmerized by and can't let go of

We're the reminder of where you don't want to be
Too young to be in these parts
But we're just lost here anyways

I lost control a long time ago..
Gave my soul up to Commercial St.
This is actually something I wrote a few years ago and found again recently. I think that's why it feels so different from everything else I have posted (at least to me).
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