It pains me to see you hurt
You're upset
and you're in pain
and you would rather jump off
the top of a 10 story building
than continue to live.
Your blood isn't flowing
and your soul is dead.
And you have razor sharp skin.
Because you hurt
and you know what its like to be broken
and failed when you were promised a life of joy.

I know that im in love
completely enticed
with the thought of you
and your smile
and your scent.
and the way
I feel when we entwine
and when our skin touches.
your hand gliding
up and down my arm
and the embrace of our lives
on eachother and our love
when we look in each other's eyes
and know that we were meant to be
here at the moment
because we were once perfect
beings to eachother
and although we are far from perfect
we are the only ones
who can do anything for eachother.
we know eachother
and we feel
the pain in one another
because our souls are connected.
we are in love
and there is nothing
that will ever depart me
from loving you

there is nothing calmer
than the cold scattered rain
it's volume and depth
brings you to a sanctuary
where all bodies are immune
to anything that causes pain.
to stare and daydream
about the pour and it's stream
wondering how long of a path
the rain follows
only to destruct into pavement.
all thoughts run free
and problems seem to fade
we ask the rain to stay for days.
there is nothing calmer
than being completely numb
to all feelings
because the rain
has enticed you
and you have no other thought
than to erase all being
inside that consumes you

don't you ever look at a person
stare deep into their soul
and see the lack of depth they contain?
wondering why that feeling is so familiar
and wondering where you've seen it before.
because you sit to yourself and think
"I could never become that way"
but you find yourself intrigued
you want to know more
why anyone would feel like that.
but you understand
and you get it.
because when you finally realize why
you see that you are a reflection of these people
but you, in a sense are whole.
because you know how you want to be
and in no way is it like this.
now you see what you've become
and how you've dug yourself a hole.
and now you're angry
and now you're punishing yourself
because you finally see
you have broken yourself
and there's no way to regenerate the hope.

have you ever dreamt
of flames and ignition
to everything you loved
and wondering why it deserved to die
wondering what you've done
and how much pain you've caused
how the world has bestowed hate upon you
why not one soul paid mind to you
and whole hearts burying themselves
because you've been targeted to death
and it has become all you want
have you ever dreamt of death
and of whole heartedly
hurting yourself
because of everything you've done to the world
because you're the problem
and you cannot fix any of it

*(c.m.e.)