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Caety Lanel Jan 2013
It is scary to think 
That I miss you 
But haven't touched you 
Haven't heard you whisper 
Haven't met you 
Yet I know you 
And miss you 
And sit here 
With the smallest of hopeful smiles
Caety Lanel Jan 2013
I taught you the colors today 
To eyes that had never looked 
Away from the ground 
Not in paint 
Or in pattern 
But in depth 
Of each shade 
The touch 
Of each splash 
The ringing 
Of each crystalline sketch 
The wide arcs 
As they threw themselves across thought 
Red 
The flutter of a bird's wing 
Green 
A pond alive with flitting fish 
Gray 
A weathered expanse 
Purple 
A flash of velvet in the mirrored sky 
I gathered to you all the colors today 
On the tip of one finger 
And held it up to the light 
Of the warming sun 
And showed you the colors 
In nature's glass 
Refracted and gleaming 
Carefully gathered in miraculous wonder 
The life
Held suspended in the soft golden globe 
Made just so hungry eyes 
Could remember  
The color of crystalline beauty
Caety Lanel Jan 2013
A stranger found me today 
Holding out their dream 
In their hand 
Another world 
For me to throw myself into 

Crystalline and mysterious and new 
And I did inch by inch 
Fraction by fraction 

And the stranger turned 
From stranger to friend 
As I lost myself 
To the creeping tendrils of the dream 
Casting off reality 
Like a reluctant shadow 
Becoming someone entirely new 
Trapped in another's body 

And I went on believing 
For a year  
Or so 

Until one day 
Yesterday, actually 
I met a friend 
Who had been offered the dream 
By my stranger 

And we traded dreams 
Telling what was now a story 
And my friend laughed at the dream 
For she was smart 
And had seen through it  

And recognized a crazy loon's ranting 
And I laughed with her 
Realizing 
With a heap of embarrassment 
What a fool I was 
To have believed in that stranger 
( who was just a loon) 

And their dream 
Shriveled up right in front of me 
As I stepped away from it 
And saw that it was only the imaginings
Of a poor,sick girl 
(who you know as stranger) 
Lost in delirium 

How easy it was then 
To cast off her dream
When my old friend laughed quietly 
About it 
By my side 
And I laughed with her 

But now I sit 
And wonder 
So caught up in this dream 
Had I been 
That now I began to wonder 
What reality I had missed 

And with a bang 
And a slash 
And a roar 
And a great wrenching tear 

I found myself having to give up 
My self that was dreamed up 

And the pain was terrible 
For this dream-self 
Had become a part of me 
And now I was letting it go 

But confused was I 
For the pain I had felt 
For how far in love i had fallen with a fake man 
I had dreamed up 
The grief over the imaginary dead 
The sadness 
But also the victories 
And the happiness 
And the triumphs 

All seemed so real 
So real 
And I was having a hard time 
Believing they were not  

But the hardest bit of dream-self to give up 

Was the bit that was a performer 

That wrote music 

And played any instrument 

And sang and danced with beautiful fervor 

And was beautiful and graceful 

And loved by her fans 

And she had come to life  
As I sat late into the night 
In the darkness of my room 
With my headphones 
Imagining this whirling figure sing and dance 
With beautiful fervor 
Cheered on by adoring people 
For all loved her 
For her performances 
For what she did  
For her vulnerability 
As she left caution behind 
And flung herself out onto stage  

But I think that she is the one token I will go on believing in 

For now I realize 
Why I believed in the stranger's dream at all 
It was the power 
The delight in a secret no one else knew 
The confidence it gave me 
To be this other person 
That nestled into my heart 

And now I am ripping the dream away 
But I think I'll try 
To keep the confidence 
And the whirling performer 
As she leaps across the stage
Caety Lanel Dec 2012
It occurred to me today 
That the color white 
Should not represent 
Perfection 
For isn't the whole purpose 
Of paper 
 to be scribbled on?
And black 
Is not the color of death, 
despair, destruction 
It is the hope 
The faith 
That the sun will rise 
After night's peaceful keeping

— The End —