the room is shrouded in blue
and your beautiful
naked
form
glides over to the window,
a cigarette
between two
fingers.
moonlight
drips from you
in delicate
silver pearls
and the cigarette glows orange
reminding me of nights in the city.
i watch you with pale eyes,
sleek with skin like honey.
i want to crawl inside the glowing
embers of the tobacco
so that this
heat will
flicker and burn
long after
we are
gone.

sugar coated candy eyes
a smile dripping with wine
the pale girl so wan,
waxing like a moon
she held her pretty head
with a dainty gloved hand
and the stars twinkle beneath
her.
i'd like to ride into town,
smoking spices
filling my dreams with
holly wreaths
hoping on pennies
that you will be waiting
at the station
with a little umbrella
arching over
your secret
stare
and i will be glad
that it isn't
raining.

the slit in the curtain
spills out
unhinged light
it's icy and it splatters
across the darkness
like a reflection from a pool.
interrupting
sad eyes and eager hands
holding blades that
shriek in silence.
the cold, unsaturated
light
awakens reality
and quiets shameful
thoughts.
only when the birds sing at night
do we understand
the price it costs
to take one's
own
life

i ate my own heart
so i wouldnt feel
and now i have an appetite
for beating pulses.
no guilt
no remorse.
i'll feed on your organs
until you are a
deflated
and
sad
little boy

i am beveled glass
without a setting
ragged edges
and no beginning

sad sad empty
broken
cracked
decaying
your heart
your fingers claw
for a
morsel
of my flesh.

i ran away away
from the big bad wolf
but you huff
and you huff
and puff
...
and
i am still running away

the sky looked
like layers of birthday cake
and my eyes were swimming in a
sunlit haze
autumn golds
all melding together-
sepia toned-
dreaming of dancing lips
and coffee shop bookstores
where hearts will beat in mocha lattes.
and yes;
this is happiness