a dark abyss
waits for me.
insects pour from my throat
choking my words.
how could anyone know
the way wounds feel
when they're stretched  
and pulled apart
with ***** of skin
hanging loose.
my scars;
they've faded
into translucent
breezes
that tickle the skin
a sort of itch itch itch
to remember the dark abyss
and purple veins
and when practical thinking
went amiss

we layed in the room
with the peeling wallpaper;
the sweetly painted flowers
now crinkled and drooping;
you swallowed your heart and
i asked you where it went.
you said you didn't know
what i meant.
but when i curled my toes around yours,
they were stone cold;
and i could see that your eyes-
once a habitat of wild floras and faunas-
had turned to granite.
i nestled my body tightly against
this unfamiliar tombstone
that held the sculpted angles of
your shoulder blades
and the empty lost echo of
your heart beating.

jump back
bruised eyelids
blooming purple flowers underneath pale
skin
bare skin
veins scratching towards
the surface
clawing
and clawing
to get out,
to bleed
just slice the razor
beneath your thigh
let the blood lie
let it lie

i was lying on the street
with cracked ribs and cold feet
never thought i'd had it in me.
heights, never really my thing
but not as terrified as people think
it was a peculiar notion
to see if i could fly
like so many birds before me
but here
with this stinging sensation
coursing through every inch of my frame
i realized
quite quickly
that my wings had
been broken.

Darling my darling
i sometimes think of writing a letter to
you everyday
even though you are never far away
i sometimes still dream of him
but no matter,
this heart is yours.
remember when we first met?
a chilly winter night,
visiting the Petco cats
and playing nintendo
while your record player spinned.
Seems surreal now.
like that time
you laid yourself as a
blanket over me
and we watched outer space
on dewy grass
with hands clasped.
you spilled your secrets to me,
whispered them into my hair,
where they nestled and found warm dark
comfort there.
your lips
oh your lips
how not even the gods could forget
such two perfect
bows that tremble,
opening gently over mine.
somehow you breathed life into me
and that was the end to my
sad
ghost story.
so
darling
my darling
thank you
for unlocking something inside
of me
something that never stops
singing.

gliding on pointed toes
the atlantic coast
stretches on and in
my stomach when
i'm sad
because i hold an ocean
this sorrow reaches deep
how could i ever tell you
what was in my chest
that night
when the atlantic
drowned my words
and i gave up
my fight

i am quiet when you
lay me on the bed
when your forest eyes
swallow me whole,
slowly removing my clothes.
my skin is pale
with freckles to match yours
and your forest eyes
catch on fire
and i've never before
felt so beautiful.