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CA Aug 2013
You are beautiful and flawless and so tiny and perfect i don't understand why you're so sad because your worth is exactly the same if not more of what the sun means to the world. You are the sun in my world its like someone took something so much bigger than what it seems and stuck it into a little nutshell like a chestnut or a kernel of a popcorn or the meat inside a pita you're so amazing words don't even touch it there isn't a combination i could ever give to you or an equation or any sort of math problem that could calculate the value of what you mean to me. To tell you the truth it makes me really upset that i am supposed to be your best friend and i couldn't help you before it got too bad. I should have noticed. And I hate that. I'm so sorry that i couldn't do that and that you didn't feel that you could come to me. If i could take all your pain away and give you every ounce if happiness in the entire galaxy of planets, i would. You are the only person in this world who deserves that much and you may be sad now, but you won't be sad forever. I'm not categorizing you as "depressed" or that you have a fault because you don't. I am weak. I bottle everything up and take it all out on myself through thoughts with no physical action. From this day on i promise i won't ever let you feel like you should be ashamed or nervous to tell me anything i love you you're my sister you're the most amazing person I've ever met and IM lucky to have YOU. The next time you think of picking up that blade of the razor or the edge of those scissors i want you to remember exactly what i just said to you and I want you to try your best to put them down. I don't want you to hate yourself. It's pretty sick that a person would rather **** themselves than be who they are, your worth to me.. Your family..Your That's unconditional love. D.B is worthless to your life in the scheme of things and i know that its going to be hard but all i ask is that you try, i can't expect you to stop as much as i wish i could do something to make that happen i just want to know that you are trying. It's 1:14 and I'm crying and i just love you and I don't want you to do something horrible that could make me lose you forever, when my dad left i felt so worthless like the only love i ever believed in wasn't even true and i know i hide things a lot but i was so close to the edge and i wouldn't have made it through any of that without you. THATS the kid of impact you have made on my life.. And I think that's pretty amazing.
922 · Oct 2013
Make It Stop, Please
CA Oct 2013
wishing i could've made better decisions
maybe look a little different
If my waist was the circumference of my thighs
would you stand by my side?
Would you feel a little better to hold my hand?
Would you brag about me to your friends?
694 · Aug 2013
Black Coffee
CA Aug 2013
You taught me more about love
Than any amount of romance
Novels
Or poetry
Could ever convey
Into words
And I love you
I love you in the morning
When the light breaking through the trees
And paints a picture on your soft, beautiful skin
I love the sounds you make in your sleep
As if life in the day is not enough
So you dream
And dream
And dream


I can only wish that your visions are half as beautiful
As you are

To me
676 · Aug 2013
Cigarettes and Peach Juice
CA Aug 2013
You lit it right in front of me
I watched you inhale  
as if  you had been searching
For that one breath
Your whole life
i may not have been fond of the taste
but for your lips
It's a small sacrifice
You smiled in silence
then looked away
It was snowing pretty hard
I remember
walking over  to where you were
and you asked me
what I thought about smoking
Then finished my peach juice to mask the taste on your tongue


That was our last kiss



Now i smoke
And I haven't had peach juice since
609 · Nov 2013
But You Do
CA Nov 2013
All the time spent in the proximity of your lips
Your arms
Your sheets
It's all miscalculated for this disimbodied
..emotion

I lied
I care

You can't kiss my lips
and not hold my hand

But you do
CA Nov 2013
He's very sad and utterly incredible
He's like
November rain in a Canadian sky
or black and white photographs
of a woman on her balcony smoking cigarettes

Making it look so beautiful
You almost forget its killing you

Now if I could take the alphabet and rearrange the letters into the perfect stream of words that would take his pain away, Or ease it
I would

But i don't

so i give my body to him
In hopes he'll ask for my soul
****.
551 · Oct 2013
MDG & Me
CA Oct 2013
I'm drinking
And I've spend all night thinking
About you
Us
And i don't know that much has changed
exept you went from 70%
To 90 proof and i don't think you'll ever return

One hundred years will pass
I will still believe you deserve another chance
I'm sorry that I'm not what you deserve
You could apologize for being more
But I'm almost at the bottom of my glass
And the closer i get

The further you are
498 · Aug 2013
There's No Snow In August
CA Aug 2013
You go to sleep at night watching the snow fall
It falls and falls and falls
Its beautiful and captivating and mesmerizing
But it's never cold enough to stay on the ground
Until one day you wake up and the entire ground is covered in snow.
Cars
Houses
Trees
Streets
Everything
I'm not sure why this reminds me of you but when i clicked on the link, this is what's coming to mind

I guess you could say you're kind of like
my snow storm

You come but you always go and all i know is  
I awoke this morning to find you all over a city
You're 3000 miles away from
467 · Dec 2013
words
CA Dec 2013
you boarded that plane and in your luggage
you took a part of me with you
I'll weep
thinking of the constalations of your lips
to the tips of your fingers
if you were a melody
god used only the finest notes
and scribbled you in a felt ink pen -
only to be framed and admired for the years
to come

my body aches for you
you are the Mona Lisa of my soul
and the King of my moonlight
I wish you well

Please think of me when the sun rises
457 · Sep 2013
White Lines
CA Sep 2013
it seems like after you
i wanted to rebel
and i wanted to try all these new things that i had been so objected towards before and its funny cause i think about all the lines on the bathroom sink that night and how it felt when it was dripping down the back of my throat

I remember when you used to drip down my throat

You'll go off to bigger and better things and
I'll be here
destroying myself

Doing absolutely anything i can to forget about you for 2 ******* seconds
442 · Feb 2014
14.14
CA Feb 2014
I don't know what to do with you,
I don't know what to do without you
So im going to love you im I'm 70 and kiss you
twice as much
I'll give you back rubs when you're sore and make you mr.noodles when we're away from our families on thanksgiving because I know you did that this year
Even though we both probably wouldnt go to them if we had the chance
I'd rather be with you
Talking about all the good things in our childhood to drown out the bad
You dont have much to say and it kills me to see the pain
So when you look at me and im looking at your chest, or your hands
Its because I want to be there
I want to wrap myself around your demons and  suffocate them until the first thing you remember about your mother isnt the dissaprovement but her smile and that story about your fathers strength is no longer going to be haunted by what he did behind closed doors

— The End —