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Waking up, I feel dread.
Strolling through, I wished I was not there.
But finally,
I arrived at my false sanctuary.
My chest, beating indifferently.

I look outside,
But I don't see.
As the ocean of my thoughts foam,
Light reflects on my eyes.
But I don't see.
I saw what awaits me:
Terror.

It should be an error,
My existence.
The cry of fear,
It is not so distant anymore.
The dawn must be close.

Anxiety, it's an old friend,
It doesn't leave me,
More loyal than ever.
Like a neverending fever...
Will it ever end?

I look outside.
I finally see,
My mind leaving me awhile.
A bitter smile,
Covers my face;
as apartments stand tall.
I realize the moment.
Why couldn't this be all?
I don't want to die.
~
Time doesn’t heal
Unless you disinfect the wound
I want to fall in love, I do
But I know it’ll make you cry
When I don’t say it back
You’ll still smile
Say “it's fine”
I know it’s not—
I can’t even say it to my mom.

I want to fall in love, I do
I know it’ll be easy
Right at the first touch
But you’ll be left picking up the pieces
Of someone who self-destructs.
It is never the same,
When you know the cruelty.
It is never like the child before,
When you realize the impermanence.

Never again the same,
When a cloudburst in late spring,
doesn't yearn a late summer night.
When faces melt in the pool of memories,
but embalmed for what?

When purity of joy is ruined by experience,
The simplicities are damaged by learned intelligence,
When you realize the impermanence,
of anything.

It is never the same,
When you know the cruelty of time.
It is never like the child before,
When you realize the impermanence of life.
my first english poem

— The End —