it didnt make me happy
to see this single serving apartment
and carrying his new tv
past the suicide number lady

tall clean ******* stack
showing me what i could have
detuned guitars in the closet
and im supposed to smile at that?

wishing i drove myself here
on the second tea refill
only halfway through the tv guide
and admiring the graphics card

i tried to understand him
born as an american
and kind of unfortunate
reminding me of where i live

I can't explain the feeling
The timeline of events
I just started crying
Regardless of the rest
All the trees were naked
A circle round my head
Loss for words confounded
By everything I left
The wind was picking up
Parallel my fear
Left for dead at 25
Darkness drawing near
Everything released
Seconds in the past
Light is what surrounded me
Clarity at last
Time has got away from us
Me and all my friends
Washed in sunlight evermore
Everything must end

if i weren't so ******* myself
i might've made a difference
in rewriting and deleting
I've foregone my real feelings

i heard an idea in passing
i heard it wrong
but it sounds so profound
he said by all accounts
you really shouldn't die

can't get my head around it
won't try to understand it
that would defeat the purpose
if i didn't trust the process

so I'm handing out control
to the people in the street
the looking in my eyes
the handing me a drink

wash away the oil
soften the voices
that's what i do
hidden in the overcast
behind the trees
light rain for my light sleep

Despair may be my demise
I think it provides more substance than ecstasy
Adoration and obsession
I believe in despair
My one guarantee
Something that won't leave me