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6d · 198
Untitled
There's no point in doing anything anymore
the only reason I'm alive
is cause' I didn't have the courage to **** myself
6d · 56
Death
If resentment is a poison,
I'll drink to my death.
Mar 7 · 41
The Choice
shadowsoul Mar 7
I have the power
to rid myself
of thoughts of you.

You don't mean
anything in my life.
i write way better poetry on my alt account
Mar 6 · 209
Numbers
shadowsoul Mar 6
My self-worth is zero,
negative self-esteem
I just want to be
loved in all my dreams
fast to crinkle inward,
curl inside a ball,
life has it's ups and downs
and all I do is fall.

I've been at rock bottom
the bottom of the sea,
for what appears to me
like an eternity.

I slowly crawl upwards
while the tears roll down my eyes
knowing that I'm worthless
in and out of demise.

I can't take my life
why do I even try?
I still can't figure out
why the hell I'm alive

Life is not for living,
you just have to survive.
Seeking out the truth
whilst surrounded by lies.

Piling up the stress,
maybe I'm depressed
I feel heavy and dense,
emotions unexpressed.

I can not cry for help
because nowhere is safe
my own mind is a landfield
and people are a maze.
i have no self worth. which is why i'm not dating. it hurts to continue. i don't know why I do it. I have no other choice.
Feb 25 · 41
My dream
shadowsoul Feb 25
Having love
is something I dream about
it just feels
so impossible
and no one
understands
what it's like
to no longer
believe
it isn't real

so out of reach
to me
oh, how happy I would be
if i had it
but I might as well
just keep dreaming.
can people just not tell me it is
i really don't wanna hear that ****
just let me be sad..
you don't understand my life
Feb 23 · 57
Fantasia
shadowsoul Feb 23
I'm always in my head.

What's even real anymore?

Living in two worlds

Stuck inside the one

That does not make me happy
Not like the other world would though.
Feb 23 · 101
Getaway
shadowsoul Feb 23
What if we stayed friends

instead of enemies?

What if you never told me you loved me?

What if I could live and let live?

What if I could forget and forgive?

Don't you just want to get away

from the past and all of the pain?

People never remain the same

But I would love to change with you.

I'd love to get away with you.

I'd like to just stay with you

We can't be lovers, we can be friends

Until the very end

I'm willing to comprimise

If only you'd just be mine.
Feb 23 · 63
Eventually
shadowsoul Feb 23
Don't expect something
from someone you treat like nothing.
Eventually I stopped giving.
Feb 22 · 41
I miss you
shadowsoul Feb 22
I don't usually feel lonely

I am self-sufficient.

But I can not bear

the distance between you and I.

I want to feel

your defined muscles

your warm body

I want to breathe

the air you breathe

I crave

your presence

I need

your love

and when

you pull away from me

I truly do

start to feel lonely.

Because I

am so close to you,

because I

love you.
Feb 22 · 76
Human Being
shadowsoul Feb 22
We often define a human being
as something kind, humane, and loving
yet we act worse than animals.
i dont know how to word this differently
Feb 21 · 81
5 am
shadowsoul Feb 21
Even during the wee hours of the night,
I am alone.
Feb 19 · 419
I Hate Myself
shadowsoul Feb 19
He told me
"What's not to love?"

It's more of a
"Whats not to hate?"
Feb 19 · 57
My Death
shadowsoul Feb 19
My heart
starts to crumble
as everything physical
just phased

I chased
all my demons
towards the end
of my days.

I fought
for my justice
I wasted
my time.

I realized
the sickness
I coughed
out the grime.

I focused
on vengeance
I never
had love.

I soaked
in my anger
without feeling
respite.

I doubt
at my death bed
that I'd feel any
delight.

Our lives
are a story,
nothing but pages
in a book.

My pain
is a secret,
the life
that you took.

I don't live
like I would
if everything
was good
moments passing
so fast
now I know
love will
never last
just look
at my past.

I cry
for my future
I mourn
all my grief
my worldview
is so limited
just like my gnarly
beliefs.

I'll swim
to the ocean,
and bury
myself deep
underneath
the wicked sands
letting my vision
fill the reef.

My sorrow is swimming,
my body is still
so now will you
be forgiving
or will you
just nill?

I'll never
say I'm sorry,
instead
I'll just kneel.

My life,
my will,
my pride,
my heel,
I want
to ****,
in all of it,
I heal.

Or maybe I
never will.
I'm reflecting on my death and the end of my life.

Just don't bring me back here.
Feb 18 · 49
indirect
shadowsoul Feb 18
You're never alone when you live in the past.
Because then, it starts to live with you.

I know none of them give a **** about me
yet they still live in my head
some things never die

I go seek out my revenge
for something I held onto.

And I'll cause
all the damage in the world
with my grudges.
Feb 18 · 63
Untitled
shadowsoul Feb 18
I have so many eyes inside my head.
I can't even write a story
without them judging me.
Feb 18 · 48
Lover
shadowsoul Feb 18
Hangin' around the dark corner of my rooms and sangin'
my face is young, but my soul is old, and my heart is anti-aging
young love brings nothing new, but these true feelings are old and ancient
there's nowhere else that I can go, I am a Bedouin

These are nice dreams,
that I'm having
where at night I hold you close, but I'm screaming
cause' I wake up
in the darkness
thinking about you
till' the day break

Lying around in the dark, saying,
"What's he thinkin'?"
Thinking about you every second without blinkin',
I cried day and night, all these days filled with suicide
Cause' I die in my mind from time to time,
I'm a grim reaper,
I'm a dreamer
Goin' in out and, and in and out of these things
I'm a sleeper,
I'm a keeper
Cause I keep you in my mind for these strange things,
strange reasons

And the seasons
getting colder,
getting wetter
getting older
I feel so much joy
thinking about that grave
that I already dug,
A big hole for me,
and no hope for me
falling endlessly,
while I pretend to sleep

I feel the shadow and the ghost of your body next to me
I want to touch you
in the darkness
cause' we're lovers, and we need to feel, don't need to see
feel the kiss
of your sweet lips
locked and loaded with candies and peppermint
cause' you're so sweet
but so cold to me
I'm making out with a stone wall endlessly.

I'll never again reach new heights,
never again say goodbye,
never again say good night
when you watch me from your eye
you're the monster in my third eye
you're the creature in the 3rd aisle
in my heart, you're thread now,
could've been a textile
now I just feel exiled
now I just feel stressed out.

Now I just feel x-ed out.
Feb 18 · 59
Saturn
shadowsoul Feb 18
I'm the grim reaper
trenching on this earth
to those I hate,
I give death.
To what I love,
I give birth.
I am a lost cause.
I am no one now.
So let me grab your soul
by the neck,
and tear it all
the way down.

I am the root,
I plant the seeds,
I squeeze the blood
I build my deeds
I have the rags,
I am the flesh,
the innards are raw
the meat is fresh.
I till, and till,
the waters still
the air is nil
I start to drill
and fill the fields
with all I feel.

Your death is fake,
but the pain is real.

I reap with Saturn,
I sow with steel.

Your misery
is my favorite meal
I love the taste
the human zeal
they taste like krill
I love to ****
my *** appeal
rolling down hills
cause' I look like

dead bodies
falling high,
out of hell,
into the skies
onto my land,
of sorrow
and woe,
I love my ***
I can burrow more,
to bury the saints
and save the ******.
Work in progress.
Feb 18 · 167
oasis
shadowsoul Feb 18
my heart in a desert
the heat melts my mind
the pain heavy like iron,
and water hard to find
i carry all this weight
i travel far and wide
searching for an answer
to the pain i feel inside

i don't know how to feel
all of these chemicals
i will bleed out toxins
and it will be fatal
my heart in a desert
i will make you hurt
i will make you bleed
to take your iron with me

— The End —