Thursday mornings are,
Harder to take at night,
There’s a book I’m trying to write,
For you,
I don’t know why,
I do these things I do,
This is a hill you can dig around,
Take it from me, white rabbit

My clock is ticking,
Two days behind yours,
No time to say hello, goodbye,
If I’m in trouble,
Then you are too,
What’s the point in even trying?
Take it from me it’s not worth it, white rabbit

I’m running so late

I wish we’d never met,
But still I feel you’re,
A part of me that I really like,
If and when I see you,
I’m going to lower my hat,
Although all I do is make you mad,
Take it from me, white rabbit
I’m sorry I’m so late, white rabbit

Over and over it rolls in my head,
Confetti confessions caught in the wind,
Written words spoken in a slurring slumber,
Reflect the conscience of the forgotten dead,
Crash into my soul and rescind,
My eyes are the doors to my blunders

Around and inside out I lay myself,
On a bed of regret I’m trapped by baying claws,
Darkness and shadows turn off the lights,
Reason watches from the self-aware shelf,
Wishing for wars and want away ******,
To keep me warm through the night

Up and under you want to dance,
Jokingly choke my mind of sense,
Whispering truths that echo like thunder,
Gifted your last and rotten chance,
Teetering on this suicidal fence,
How it could or should have been you can only wonder

Right and then left, left one bereft,
The one whom I was but never knew,
Who lost who he was and in turn lost the fight,
An assassin and thief with deadly deft theft,
Killed the one who begun and stole me away in two,
To keep me company through the night

Down and away I chase my thoughts,
Manmade mazes blocking my way,
I can see the end but it is only the start,
Whether I ought to be caught is not the answer I sought,
Trapped in my mind in the dark and my body by day,
You say you like me but just not this part

Out and then in it can never begin,
Cannot right the wrong that were wrong all along,
But you can read who I am by what I write,
Telling you nothing and everything,
So you can decide where I belong,
To keep me dead or alive through the night

Things in your head can’t be said in words,
You try and write them all down; it’s only making it worse,
Got to run away from you because you’re only making me hurt,
Every moment we’re close I always just end up on my knees in the dirt,
Now you,
Are the best,
That I,
Can do

Focus on the thought,
That I am here and not lost,
It takes a lot to make yourself a ghost and yet forgot,
Say things I don’t want, do things I can’t stop,
Make you hate who I am and become who I’m not,
Now you,
Are the test,
That I just,
Can’t do

Now the test is whether or not that you want it enough,
The boat isn’t sturdy and the seas can be rough,
Time to raise all the stakes and read all the bluffs,
This is the race that you run to try and fall in love,
Now you,
Are the best,
That I,
Can do

Now I think love this girl but she’s already left,
Just a bottle of ***** on the floor and her smell in my bed,
There’s something in my mind now I’m all at a loss,
Just I miss her in my head and a fissure in my heart,
Pain and pleasure both at once and I can’t tell them apart,
Now what,
Am I,
Supposed,
To do?

Now I’m looking half dead and you better believe,
That the words that you read are only meant to deceive,
I’m not who I am and that’s a hell of a relief,
Lost in a maze of dead ends and these ideas that I weave
Now you,
Are the best,
That I,
Can do,
And I,
Don’t know how,
To make you,
Love me,
Like I,
Love you

I did everything I could,
Not that it ever did much good,
You’re looking for the end when you haven’t reached the start,
You still wouldn’t have understood

Why have you got to struggle all the time,
With things that aren't yours to fight they are mine,
It did not do much use now I've had another change of heart,
Well you’ll just have to get in line

Don’t push too hard,
Your pane might crack and break a shard,
Of glass pain that will slowly begin to cut us apart,
I’m sorry that I’m covered in all these scars

Please don’t let me go to sleep,
Your laughter masks my screams,
I mean what I say,
But I won’t say what it all means,
Outside the words collide,
With what I try to hide inside,
Now I don’t even look how I try to seem,
And I don’t even know why I tried

Please don’t let me go to sleep,
The grass is not that green,
I might be dying right now,
But I am living in my dreams,
You’ll just make me wake,
And then take it all away,
Now all the things I could have been,
Die in the light of the darkest dawning day

I can be just who I want,
Please don’t tell me who to be,
I can be just what I want,
Please don’t tell me what to be,
I can be just anything,
And nothing is all I will be,
Anything and nothing is just alright with me

Please don’t let me go to sleep,
You’ll just make me wake and then take it all away,
And all my anything’s and nothing’s must wait for another day

Fear not as we all fall from haunted hollows,
Hallowed shallows that grows deeper in darkest shadows,
Live on dear brothers and forever let go of my hand, set me free,
Tell mother all that you know or dared to ever understand of me,
Her eyes will open to the truths she could not bear to see,
Under those clasped lids of easy lies,
Set alight the darkness in my mind that you despise,
The shadow that hides underneath our secret sighing skies

And lo, we are silently distraught at nothing’s fiction,
Weeping with the laughing darkness that accompanies the hesitant disparate,
Desperate indecision reaches for all the long lost and wrong decisions,
That no one knows but everyone proclaims to possess but just too late,
Amongst the lost and lonely living in patriarchal prisons there is a vision,
Someone’s inherent father finding a place alone to rest and wait

Welcome unto the final and only fight worth fighting, my son,
Fear not the surge of the sadness’ swarming seas,
For you are truly most alive in death’s warm welcome,
Do not fear the cold clasp of shadows under your hallowed dying tree,
So when all that is said is not said, and what once did is never done,
You must accept the things you will never be,
You must accept the things you will never become,
Thus death is only but a key,
Thus this life is the lock left undone,
Though living in light there is only death and darkness surrounding you, son of Suns

Look upwards father into the shadow of shadows,
Enter world’s we could never have seen,
Welcome son into these sorry shallows,
And though I will cease to have ever been,
Come and become life’s fragile thread unspun,
Therein is no where or when,
As all things must live and die,
And the living must live on then,
And the dead must only wonder why,
But this is not the end

It is broken and it seems,
To be more than it means to be,
They say a picture paints a thousand words,
But my words will speak a thousand pictures,
All in broken frames and it seems,
That they are all the same but they do not mean to be

Hug me as you go to sleep,
Whilst you dream of someone else,
You say you love me but only when I’m not myself,
And you did not think that I had heard,
And you did not think that I had listened,
Now I’m all alone with your words,
And I can only listen, and no longer sleep

Broken things,
Broken things are not as they are,
Things are farther than they need to be,
And I will stare a lonely stare,
Into that foreign reflection on the wall,
Trying to find out who, if anyone, was there,
Fighting my shadow that repeats the very things I did not know were there at all,
If Death pays all debts and takes no bribes,
Then this money I collect won’t help keep us alive,
And I do not care what you shout at the night,
And I do not care if you whispered,
You hear everything I shout at darkness’ blinding light,
But do not listen to the silent things that die in my constant winter

Now I can’t fall asleep,
All I wish is to be someone else,
After all you might love me if only I weren’t myself,
And I do not care what it is you heard,
And I do not care if you listened,
And I glare an angry glare,
Into the scratches etched upon the wall,
Trying to find you and I, somewhere,
Where we could have it all

Somewhere without my bleeding knuckles rapping on that wall,
Somewhere without my murmured madness echoing off that wall,
Somewhere without that solitary shadow that stands solely against that wall,
Facing the wall forever wondering what it feels to feel at all,
Where things are not as they are,
Where things are not as far as they seem to be,
Where I can have it all and you can be with me