It is broken and it seems,
To be more than it means to be,
They say a picture paints a thousand words,
But my words will speak a thousand pictures,
All in broken frames and it seems,
That they are all the same but they do not mean to be

Hug me as you go to sleep,
Whilst you dream of someone else,
You say you love me but only when I’m not myself,
And you did not think that I had heard,
And you did not think that I had listened,
Now I’m all alone with your words,
And I can only listen, and no longer sleep

Broken things,
Broken things are not as they are,
Things are farther than they need to be,
And I will stare a lonely stare,
Into that foreign reflection on the wall,
Trying to find out who, if anyone, was there,
Fighting my shadow that repeats the very things I did not know were there at all,
If Death pays all debts and takes no bribes,
Then this money I collect won’t help keep us alive,
And I do not care what you shout at the night,
And I do not care if you whispered,
You hear everything I shout at darkness’ blinding light,
But do not listen to the silent things that die in my constant winter

Now I can’t fall asleep,
All I wish is to be someone else,
After all you might love me if only I weren’t myself,
And I do not care what it is you heard,
And I do not care if you listened,
And I glare an angry glare,
Into the scratches etched upon the wall,
Trying to find you and I, somewhere,
Where we could have it all

Somewhere without my bleeding knuckles rapping on that wall,
Somewhere without my murmured madness echoing off that wall,
Somewhere without that solitary shadow that stands solely against that wall,
Facing the wall forever wondering what it feels to feel at all,
Where things are not as they are,
Where things are not as far as they seem to be,
Where I can have it all and you can be with me

Welcome to the Land of Forgotten Thoughts,
I forget all the rest and I’m already lost,
Where there is no crossing the King and the Queen,
They don’t like who I am and they hate who I've been,
It’s more fun when nothing is as it seems,
I’d rather sleep all day and live in my dreams

Now don’t listen to violence,
Nothing speaks louder than silence,
I can’t run from the wolf when he’s already under my skin,
The cold King and the questioning Queen,
Don’t care what you say but demand answering

The wretched Jester,
Emotion molester,
Finds out what it’s takes to take a hit to the chest,
His laughs that have always been better than the rest,
His lines are always the best

Prince Charming is always self-harming,
Keeps embalming the lost skin on his palms,
People don’t care because they see you’ve got a charming face,
Internal sorry expression,
From the eternal royal rejection,
Don’t worry natural selection will put you back in your place

Open the door and kick your lover out of your bed,
And don’t trust any of the others willing to take her stead,
Pretty faces don’t stop them being ugly,
Prince Charming, charmingly free,
And I’m trying to take off the crown,
But the King and Queen keep pushing it down

I can’t sleep at night now I've got no head,
The medicine keeps me well fed,
Stomachs aching,
Pain killers are making,
A body glued together two minutes from breaking

There no quitting,
The Quetiapine scene,
The truth is upsetting,
Mistakes worth regretting,
Swallow their lies and I’m already forgetting

Welcome to the Land of Forgotten Thoughts,
I forget all the rest and I’m already lost,
You don’t need to know where we’re going,
We know there’s no point in knowing,
We know there’s no point in knowing,
You don’t need to know where we’re going,
I forget the rest and I’m already lost,
Welcome to Land of Forgotten Thoughts

Disparate and disturbed,
Spectre ******* remains perturbed,
Suiting shadows for whom it serves,
Mannerisms and gestures well-rehearsed,
Reading off of scripted words,
Scratch at it to only make it worse

Drinking dreams so undeserved,
Thirst for you became submerged,
Breathing deeply breathes you cursed,
Now you are all my worldly worth,
I do no justice and I’m not the first,
Your King of nothing continually usurped

Wildly weeping on howling stairs,
Beasts snipe and snap with scowling stares,
Paws and claws clasp until you’re theirs,
Spurned by burning glares,
Wounded walk back into nowhere,
Stuck nowhere and I will meet you there

Falling fast past faces purged,
Passions passing with every urge,
Diverge from deviance coerced,
Facing forward in reverse,
Extrovert implodes many deaths traversed,
***** voices miming truths well-versed

Just a regular spanner in the works,
Those that have never really ever worked,
Who I was, if only who I still were,
Scrawling all these rambling words,
A many a sorry but just one please in manner,
How I loved her and then lost her does not matter,
Nor the madness that steadily got madder,
Not the sadness that plunged to depths only getting sadder,
Whereon one constructed such a depressing manor,
Thereon lived with my now imaginary lover,,
Hereon to break apart and slowly gather,
Myself together to make my white flag banner,
My long lost apology to Anna

And as your day has just begun,
My own sunshine is all but done,
Whilst the world drifts and lingers in dreams layered deep,
I kick and I punch and I bite just to get to sleep

I do not want to become famous,
Don’t you know who I am?
I am not someone else,
I am only one man,
Do whatever that I want,
But there’s nothing that I can

Chasing gentle ghosts as they run,
Towards my nightmares as they come,
And as your daydream has just begun,
Whilst you crawl under problems in their heap,
I go to bed with the light and my covers I will keep

I do not want to become anonymous,
I don’t know who I am,
I am someone else,
I am not only one man
Do whatever that I won’t,
Because there’s nothing that I can

Running from gentle ghosts as they come,
And as my day has just begun,
I see the setting of your sun,
Whilst I sow the wishes which you reap,
And hide from my cognitive captors as they creep,
I kick and I punch and I bite and I weep,
All in vain just to get to sleep

Fear not as we all fall from haunted hollows,
Hallowed shallows that grows deeper in darkest shadows,
Live on dear brothers and forever let go of my hand, set me free,
Tell mother all that you know or dared to ever understand of me,
Her eyes will open to the truths she could not bear to see,
Under those clasped lids of easy lies,
Set alight the darkness in my mind that you despise,
The shadow that hides underneath our secret sighing skies

And lo, we are silently distraught at nothing’s fiction,
Weeping with the laughing darkness that accompanies the hesitant disparate,
Desperate indecision reaches for all the long lost and wrong decisions,
That no one knows but everyone proclaims to possess but just too late,
Amongst the lost and lonely living in patriarchal prisons there is a vision,
Someone’s inherent father finding a place alone to rest and wait

Welcome unto the final and only fight worth fighting, my son,
Fear not the surge of the sadness’ swarming seas,
For you are truly most alive in death’s warm welcome,
Do not fear the cold clasp of shadows under your hallowed dying tree,
So when all that is said is not said, and what once did is never done,
You must accept the things you will never be,
You must accept the things you will never become,
Thus death is only but a key,
Thus this life is the lock left undone,
Though living in light there is only death and darkness surrounding you, son of Suns

Look upwards father into the shadow of shadows,
Enter world’s we could never have seen,
Welcome son into these sorry shallows,
And though I will cease to have ever been,
Come and become life’s fragile thread unspun,
Therein is no where or when,
As all things must live and die,
And the living must live on then,
And the dead must only wonder why,
But this is not the end

So late into the night,
With weary mind and dimming light,
By dawning sky I dream always of my selfish indite,
I cry, I scream, I wish and write,
Write about all the things that are wrong in my life,
The rights, the wrongs, the harmony and the strife,
All of many things disparate and yet somehow alike,
To glance within only to be left blinded inside

The onus of stigma now upon myself,
Done unto myself, this is the enigma of my enduring wealth,
I am the bounteous betrayed left with little else,
Than a mirror to stare into, and find that one is not oneself,
Seeing the perfect infection in the depths of my conflicting reflection,
This dying health that comes with accepting,
Understanding the hurt that you weren’t expecting,
This bed I slept in is not my own and it remains neglected

Excepting oneself, now listen to the loudness of the hush,
The weight of millions upon my shoulders now being crushed,
The rise of the tide that flows with unrelenting rush,
The wants of the wanting now fall into dust,
I hear the screams, I feel the pain,
I see the hurt, I feel the blame,
I am but the whisper of a forgotten name,
The uncontrollable crying of the incessant rain

And so I awake in a boat,
In a lake of tears sourced by the very things I have wrote,
Ideas come and go with the waves as they flow,
Whilst I sit in my boat and forget all I know,
Passing people please pay no heed unto my shadow,
To be stuck here now is how it must be so,
And now I must be rote,
To relive this pain I sought and forever stay afloat

Ease my mind, my mother,
How can I be nothing of something?
And yet something of another,
I have been the shadow cast aghast against the deathly dew of subtle spring,
The band, the bind, on the finger of my lifeless lover,
Living in death as everything does in nothing,
This ship, in voyage on the endless seas of the perpetually found and the always undiscovered,
Oh, if things were only simple, simple thing

I go to sleep, with the whisper of my dying lover,
Hoping to be born again into a life that I would rather,
Rather, than waking where she is alive but I am gone,
I do not want to be just another other,
To keep searching for your ghost’s gasp of life recovered,
Waning moon please replace this unwelcome dawn, where she does not belong,
Help me begin to believe again my brothers,
Must I be everything unuttered?
Must I be everything’s nothingness left to suffer?
Muttering madness that is incessantly reset and uncovered

I admitted everything in that whisper you won’t let me forget,
It echoes in my head, this ferocious thunder consumed in my regret,
But you never heard a single sound,
Nor the pound of things left unsaid that this lightning writes upon the ground,
You believe what you would rather, rather see but in resent,
Repenting religious slurs into a mirror that only blurs and can’t reflect,
Reflect on what you’d rather, rather than accept what you refuse has long been found,
That there is no going up and there is no going down,
That life and death are ties to be cut and left to be unwound,
And seemingly, neither has no end, but both come back around,
That this road we walk which does not seem to bend,
Is but the beginning and the cease, our adversary and our friend,
To the broken and the certain of which neither we can mend,
Though fight it all or fall, it all depends on you,
Upon you being everything and nothing,
Upon you giving up or choosing to pursue,
To be given definition in this persistent something,
Or consumed by unknowable things you do or do not do,
Do or don’t in this everything,
It all depends on you