I said I am fine,
I’m just trying to define,
Who I am

I have bite marks on my skin and,
I don’t know why I don’t feel like you,
Try as I might to fit into your style,
Broken hearts still make me smile,
No matter how hard my eyes try,
They just can’t seem to fake all of my lies

Yes, I promise I am fine,
I’ll say it one more time,
I am fine

I’m seeing clearly for the first time and,
I don’t like the world around me,
Or me around this world it’s,
Broken and it can’t be fixed,
No matter how I try,
I just can’t clear the sky

And now I don’t know what you’ve seen,
And I don’t know what you’ve heard,
But I see where you have been,
Though my vision was always blurred,
And I’ve heard every word,
Though most of it slurred,
But I want to know what you mean,
When you referred to me,
As a baby bird

I said I am fine,
I’m just trying to define,
Who I am,
Yes, I promise I am fine,
I’ll say it one more time,
I am fine

But before you go now,
Mother, please stop the crying,
Father, please I’m dying here,
I’m trying not to disappear,
But let me just make things clear,
I am fine

I did everything I could,
Not that it ever did much good,
You’re looking for the end when you haven’t reached the start,
You still wouldn’t have understood

Why have you got to struggle all the time,
With things that aren't yours to fight they are mine,
It did not do much use now I've had another change of heart,
Well you’ll just have to get in line

Don’t push too hard,
Your pane might crack and break a shard,
Of glass pain that will slowly begin to cut us apart,
I’m sorry that I’m covered in all these scars

Complicatedly indebted with everything,
Unstably labelled with a thing so unjust,
Freak,
Defining nothing with some meaningful nothing,
Feeling someone there but everything is so,
Weak,
Deserving better than that unnerving something,
Flirting closer with that endlessly relentless nothing,
Speak

Riddles surround enigmas and make a hollow whole,
Middle grounds and eventual stigmas poking holes,
Lie,
Circles are running around corners to hide,
Creating paradoxes and imaginary divides,
Why?
Nothing dictates something from nothing,
Something creates everything from one thing,
Try

I’m losing out, leaving doubt without sound,
Breaking from a sorry existence and gaining some distance,
Free,
I’m forging new ideas out of old fears,
Borrowing destructive license to forget my conscience sitting on the fence,
See,
I’m interfering with fate steering into new states,
I’m sorry I’m late, I’m worried I’m, wait,
Me

Memory of fantasy and lunacy,
It’s all too real to me,
Motions of fear and love,
Are all I ever see,
Reactions of violence, contraction to silence,
I've got to let it go for it to let me be,
To let me be,
Let me be me

Fast-forward and pause,
Lost it in an instance,
Lose my feet in this dance,
I fall and crumble and I cannot stand,
And I do not understand

A written discourse,
Paths insanities stance,
That which never makes sense,
It all falls and crumbles in my hands,
And I do not understand

Not-guilty remorse,
It’s a crime of romance,
Fight between fate and pure chance,
I fall and crumble as a man,
And I do not understand

Unknown seismic force,
Knowing of our ignorance,
Increasingly equidistant,
I fall and crumble in this no-man’s-land,
And I do not understand

Forgotten the source,
Such a meaningful advance,
Into meaningless existence,
I fall and crumble with my plan,
And I do not understand,
No I do not understand

I am not good, I am not great,
I do as I should but as a fake,
Getting by on my anxiety,
Guided by sure finalities,
I am good, God is great,
Both do as we should but so full of hate,
Meanings here and meanings where,
Meanings rare and I’m stuck there,
You’re in one, I’m in two,
Masks are fun to hide the truth,
Focused on self-defined tragedy,
Self-obsessed professed insanity,
No relief or relax from the dark,
Bruised by bottle caps and teeth marks,
Bats and owls curse spiritual slurs,
The Sleep of Reason greets Goya’s monsters,
Stuck in a poets phonetic wasteland,
Letters scattered like grains of sand,
Hunched over tables convulsing religiously,
Punching out feelings for depressions vanity,
Mutters of memory’s shadows,
Patterns of clarity in charlatans clothes,
Search for a meaning of proof,
If any as denial and distraction wage a truce,
The Artist’s Reward was always a lie,
To defy life first you must die,
Continue this imprisonment in institutional prostitution,
Reverting, perverting once innate constitution,
Create an ornate human and visceral solution,
Refusing the fusion spit out prose pollution,
Confusion in this constant cyclical conclusion

Now what is this feeling?
Are you still reeling and relying,
On thoughts of the dying and no,
I can’t stop all the crying and I don’t know,
Where to go, whether or not to run and hide it,
Because this is no fun and yes I might’ve lied,
And now I might be lying, but at least I’m trying with,
The hearts of the girls that really tried to care,
Now let’s see how you fare against me,
And, no this really isn’t fair, but I dare,
You to try better than me to die,
Cause you won’t be able to see,
What it really is to be living,
Without giving it all up for free,
And they told me I was God,
They told me I was God

Oh no, now I can’t be left alone,
With these deaf strangers,
But it’s ok, I’m more dangerous on my own,
Now who are you Miss and tell me what am I?
Why are you here at all and why did you try?
Because I’m kicking and I’m screaming,
From all your picking at my feelings,
You like to stalk and talk but it’s just going to make,
Me walk right away because anymore and I might break,
Any day soon and I’ll be closing up this door,
Frozen to the spot and I can’t thaw,
And I rot in this space, can’t embrace your embrace,
I hate this place, but I love your face,
And the taste of all the fear,
At the end of it all now all so near,
Makes me retrace the steps I’ve taken,
Try and find the path I’ve trod,
Because they told me I was God,
Yes they told me I was God

The nurses run a palindrome,
Encased in my own phrase unknown,
Prefixed albeit in the womb,
Transfixed from crucifix to tomb,
Bruising ears with wounding tongue,
Rousing tears with printed plunge,
Into maddening discourse of course,
Twisting turns to twisted source,
Watery words erode the mind,
Spilling from recesses long mine,
Explosions of thoughts buried in bone,
Devotion to that and to that alone,
Things thought so simple and done so nearly,
What seems so clear is not so, clearly,
Here and yet not here at all,
Miracle of the medicinal lyrical,
Vestige a silhouette of sense,
Simplicity complicated dense,
Lost in a forgotten forest of complicates,
****** in delusional dictation so delicate,
Created a copy Cheshire Cat all the while,
Led into Wonderland mile by smile,
Confuse and felicitate all my many meanings,
Intrude and confiscate that being,
Into cognitive conjunction uncoordinated sink,
For you to finally think to think