A measure of health
How strong the poison fumes you choose
Suicide Machismo in disguise
I guess
It just seemed cool to not care
But I see the point
Jeez

I fell down three flights of stairs
But that wasn’t a bad trip
Compared to where I was last night.

Just let me talk so I can see what I think
And decide if I think that’s alright
Because I often get it wrong
And I never finish songs
Or even short stories
I write

Say something
Then later
The “me” act
Seems so fake

This will be next
“Why did I write that fake bs?”

Jack of all weirdos
Keep your eyes off the prize
Set your sights on the crumbs
They’re your piece of the pies

Once King of the misfits
Twice a Joker to Queens
Better luck grasping straws
Than reaching brass rings

Different than a comfort enthusiast
This drive
Being my main motivator,
I have discerned its agenda
Like a sudent or a detective
Over time as its preferences
Emanate from me

Jack of all weirdos
Keep your eyes off the prize
Set your sights on the crumbs
They’re your piece of the pies

Once a prince among weirdos
Twice a ****** to queens
More gained grasping at straws
Than at ******* brass rings

Sometimes seems harmless
But maybe it’s not—
Being slow
Waiting and watching
Letting things happen

“hey don’t do that!”
maybe better than
“Oh no you ****** up.”

Judge him
But no good wishing a sloth feel guilty for his lazy manner

Mastered saying “uhuh”
When someone
Says “Right?” or ”Okay?”

I’m trapped
In an inferior
Alternate timeline

Shadow of myself
Fell in love with a reflection
Seems like me, I thought
Turns out that was just projection

This is right now
This is right now
But
You can not hold onto
Right now
Remember back where I said
"This is right now"
That is no longer right now

My love of nothing is practical,
Not just clever.
Nothing matters more than ever.

As a matter of fact, nothing matters at all
As a matter of opinion, I love it all

If my inside secret radio ever changes its tune
I promise to never pass that on to you'n

That guy was always in a rush to let his guard down
"Pleased to meet you. Here's the soft part of my throat."
It was some kind of defense or offense
Same close or at a distance
If that didn't work
He was losing anyway

Twisted his chained neck
And sharpened his eyes
Trying to tell particle from wave
Still he can't make sense
Of what they let him see
On the back wall of Plato's cave

The ballot or the bullet
The bottle or the ****
Cheer for your team if it's what you prefer
Nothing's all that matters for long

You found me right and tight
And then you left me loosey

ALL CAPS
(with a parenthetical way out)

Formerly normal
Tripper
Sailing

My gal's not a good person to trade naps with
She's always gotta go first
And at waking up she's the worst
My gal's not a good person to trade naps with

He was catatonic, paralyzed, amputated and lazy
But the fate of Schrödinger's cat was driving him ******* crazy

They're all much normaler than me
Their lives are lived responsiblefully
I just slide in the swirl and circle round the center lapping it up going "oui!"
And
I love all those folks who know what they know with total certainty
But
They're all much normaler than me

If you didn't notice
What did it matter at all?

Either cured all my cancer
Got a brain eating algae
Or something in between

Right in the gut
Right in the face
You said how you saw me
I fell out of place

They're all much normaler than me
They're all good at responsibility
I just jump in the swirl and ride around the center
Looking around yelling oui
And
I love those folks who know what they know
With total certainty
But
They're all much normaler than me

Free me from my preferences
Flame and smash my boundry fences
Take me while my guard is down
And then when I least expect it,
When all defense is unerected
Into the swirl "I" go

They act like nothing is just another thing
Just zero on the number line between negative one and positive one
But we know it's the natural state
And flaws and fault lines run
More true than any thing

I fear ****** and ******* asphyxiation
As I should
But once I'm infirm enough to not-mind dying
Try to sneak me a thrill if you could

I told you
Fixate on beauty
You stupid ****

Sometimes I want to wonder
What went wrong
But what good would it do?

Life was pregnant with possibilities
So I paid for half the abortion

No shell
Dark eye bags

"Don't worry
I'll always keep you safe"
Says my son to his lavender scented
Fizzing salt bath pearl
Dissolving away

My unconscious competence gets me in so many situations
Pregnant with possibilities
And my conscious fool
Aborts them all

I ruin everything
I fear I'll forget how to be me
It seems to be not up to me whether I do or not
So it'll probably be ok
I keep getting mad and sad at pretty much
The same stuff
Familiar things make "me" happy
Even when I don't try

Real love
And the required
Blood essence sacrificed
To keep it live
And the horrible things learned
Of self and others

Circle swallowed by the swirl
In the darkest folded furl
Around and around
Toward the center

She mostly didn't mean
For that to happen

If it weren't for the fact I do everything wrong
I'd forget who I am all the way

Probably something vile about orange bell peppers
They feel so healthy to me

Joined at eighteen
Left at thirtysix
But it was all worth it
They say
I say
It could have been worse
Nobody beat me
It was worth it
Wouldn't have had those kids
Otherwise
Can't regret them
Though we gave pure love
To a beast of pure manipulation
There were good parts
Beautiful people
As willing to give as I
Chunking flesh off the bone
For that beast
I must be stupid
To've stayed
But being loyal seemed strong
At the time

Vegetables and minerals
Will lose all form and kind
A few minutes after the sun
Changes its mind

I probably misunderstand time and space
But this approximation helps my interface

******* jumping gimminy **** **** gadzooks
They haunt the back of my mind with their nukes

Not exactly agoraphobia
Just a very strong preference

Damp and windy
It's so 33
Like it just fine
As it's not up to me

I have
So much power
To not do
I can not do anything
Everything

If one did wrong then wrong is wrong
Wrong is wrong is wrong
But if rather one didn't do  
Another's thought right then alright
It's alright it's their right