I write when my depression hits
from functional to hollow
with in minutes
They say an artist
becomes an artist
when they suffer
so there is never a better time
to write and gain respect from others
when you don't even respect yourself
So I write my best work
when I am the most numb

It is scary how much a tap on the shoulder can mean to someone
The different feelings that can rush through someone's body after
just a tap
It can be reassurance that someone is there for you
It can mean the ever gloomy
We need to talk
And it can be a symbol
For young love
A tap on the shoulder  
Can mean the difference between a life long connection
Or someone you used to know

Underneath the stary sky with all its infinity and unknowns
makes me feel at home

The darkness that hides all the monsters and wraps around the world
feels like a blanket to me

but you avoid my eyes and walk quickly past me
and I still think you care

I live in a world of oxymorons and contradictions
which I usually greet with open arms

But when you are in view
the lack of emotion in your blue eyes
makes me feel loved

I love and hate oxymorons
because of you

I want to be inspired
I want to be moved
I want to be swept off my feet

But for now I'll wait

I am not waiting for a man to find me
I am waiting for an opportunity to run
to explore
and to search

for an inspiration
for a movement
and for a man
a man who is willing to let me sweep him off his feet
only then will I be content

So I will wait to run
Then run into my happiness along the way
Knowing me it will be an accident

I had a dream last night.
I dreamed of you
It has been so long since I had a dream
even longer since I dreamed of you
though I still think of you often
your eyes haven't invaded my dreams in a while

I used to dream you were walking next to me
to dream you smiled at me in the hall
to dream you tapped me on the shoulder
Like you used to do to tell me that you would be there for me when needed
That simple tap was our always
I used to dream of you to hold on to what I lost
and remember
how safe I felt

But last night I dreamed that you still loved me
That you still tapped me on the shoulder as you passed
I fell all over again
Then my eyes opened
I remembered and let go
because it hurt even more than before

You might never get to hold my kin
Maybe I will be like you and carry twins
You might never meet the man standing opposite me down the aisle
And I might never get to see you two share a smile
You might miss my graduation
For all these selfish thoughts I await damnantion

Though I can control this clever rhyme
I believe I'm running out of time
because there is one thing I can't manipulate
which seems to be your expiration date
I don't know the exact time or day
but I will be here until doomsday

If I had a friend with an earnest heart,
They would only desire for redemption;
Redemption from sins they hath never committed.
They would dream of touching heaven.
I would never wish on them the tears and pains
from the world of sighs in which we have grown.

Yet year to year they would face most disastrous chances,
The innocent will still be challenged by another insolent foe,
riddled with the dangers of a double edged tongue.
Tis the world we hath created.
Where the pure of heart are still question’d,
After the greedy invades their lives and corrupts.
Leaving their heart as if it were charcoal.

They will say ‘Twas strange’, ‘T’was pitiful’,
Their prayers will be said but not understood,
For they are said to often.
This deadly breach of sincerity,
Will let forth a purifying flood.
and I don’t expect many survivors.