the smoke
like smog
that rises into the air
in a dimly light room
after someone blows out their birthday candles
that is what I wish upon

the breeze
that carries
the dandelion seeds
to their new homes in the ground
that is what I wish upon

every star
that is not flying
across time and space
across my bedroom window
that is what I wish upon

the beautiful eyes
of every wonderful person
I have ever pasted on a crowded street
with a smile in their eyes and an open hand
that is what I wish upon

the smaller side of a wishbone
every other minute in the day
besides eleven eleven.
that is what I wish upon

They come in waves
Riding along the currents
of my emotions
Waves of happiness
Waves of despair
Waves of being tired of being lonely
Waves of questioning my existence and impact on the world
Waves of tears
Waves of numbness
My emotions
come in waves
And their is no way to fight them
No trick to escape this riptide
These waves just take me farther and farther away
From who I want to be
They make me isolated
They make me flawed
They make me human

You are the apparition
I see
As I walk the empty halls
Of my mind
An apparition
Of a long forgotten hope
That has etched itself
Onto my long forgotten dreams
You walk alongside a regal black cat with white paws
But sometimes its a small dog still learning to grow
You are the apparition
That appears when I am lonely
When I have no where else to go
But to dwell in the parts of my brain
I usually choose to avoid
Like a bolted door that falls open sometimes
Even though it's bolted for a reason
You are the apparition
That haunts my daydreams
Drowning in sunlight
Doused in gasoline
One match away from being gone forever
You are the apperition
Of an arkangel
I could never love
But loved anyways

For the heartless
You were once head over heels
And maybe they loved you too
But they clipped your wings
And charred your heart
So now you reside
In the dark parts of a crowded room
With eyes glazed over
a movie replaying in your mind
Of a memory
you wish you could forget
But if you wait
You will find someone
With a movie
The frost behind your eyes will thaw
And new growth will emerge
From the volcanic ash that is your heart
As they restore you halo
This is a message
A warning
A public safety announcement
For the heartless

I have been over thinking
I have been over-analyzing
about if a glance is just a glance
or if it is a ten-minute stare
that I happened to notice
the last awkward seconds of
or just you staring off into space
nowhere in particle
on one in particle
was it a strategic move
made by the boy across the classroom
or was it an instance
that you looked in my general direction
and made unwanted eye contact
does that smile mean anything
was it you being polite
after this weird encounter
or was it a friendly invitation
to talk to you
someone who has been unattainable
for so long
you have not smiled at me
in three years
so what does this smile mean
I have been over thinking
I have been over-analyzing
about the moments
that we share and shared
out past and present
though there was not much of either
they replay in my mind
and the ability to shut off my brain disappears
what can I say you make me over think
you make me over-analyze
you make my mind go haywire

I fall a lot
sometimes people laugh
sometimes people help me up
but I tie my shoes every day
but it has never stopped me from falling