The sun.
Emitting light.
The right amount,
Not enough to blind.
But enough to see,
What was hidden
In the dark.
The truth.

The earth.
Revolving the sun.
Moving farther away,
Moving closer together.
Never far enough
To be free of it's pull.
Never close enough,
To be burned by it's heat.

The moon.
Revolving the earth.
Showing the light,
In times of darkness.
Pulling it towards
The right direction.
A symbol of beauty,
for all the world to see.

The sun,
My light.

The moon,
My guide.

The earth,
My world.

My light, my guide, my world,
My universe.
But the universe has flaws.
Mine has only one.

It has too much space.

Why does everyone always think I'm in love?
Sure, it looks like it.
The signals all point to it.
When I see her, I smile
When I hear her, I smile

When I think of her, I smile

Yes, those are clear aspects as to why I love her.
Well, I'm not capable of love
I don't know how to love
I don't know how to be in love
I don't know what love feels like

I don't know what love is

And yet, this one time, I thought I finally knew
It isn't what a dictionary tells you
Nothing can compare to the real feeling
Words cannot explain what love is.
However, words can build love
Words can build trust

But words can destroy these as well

I cant love, at all
That's obvious of course,
You have to speak from experience
And I tried, I did, I really tried
And not only did i fail

I failed twice

I tried too less and I tried too much
I don't know what exactly 'enough' is
But I guess "there is never enough"
Does not apply for love
I lost both wars and now there's one left to face

But that is a story for another time

They say "home is where the heart is"
Whoever 'they' are I hope they're wrong or are they right?
If they're right, then my heart is toxic and horrible
And I perfectly agree with that
No one should be poisoned by the toxic waste inside me

So i tried to give it away, to see if someone would love
A toxic heart

Looking back now, I saw how bad of an idea that was
Who would love a heart that was not only disgusting, but was deadly
I've made a mistake, two mistakes that outweigh all the other mistakes I've made
It's hard to make mistakes like this
They hurt, bad.
So to summarize it all,

Never give harmful things to others

So don't say I'm in love
I didn't even fall out of it
I was pushed away from it
And I guess I deserved it

But I do know the dictionary definition of love
It sums up all the things I know and deserve
So what do I deserve?

love - n. (tennis)

I am now sitting here
On my chair
The chair that's slowly killing me
As I sit on it day by day

I wait for your message
For your words are worth waiting for
Because they remind me of your voice
The voice of peace

But what it brought was not what I thought
I knew it would happen
I cannot run away from it any longer
But the truth hurts too much

Yes, you are worth it
Yes, I love you very much
Yes, you help me find my way in this world
But you just gave me the most subtle no

I hate it that we can't be
I hate it that age is an issue
For age is just a number telling you
The chance of how close death is

I hate it that the world doesn't let me
I hate it that my house doesn't love me
I hate it that I can't do anything about it
But there are few things I can't hate

If our poems are really
Our hearts in words
We just wrote onto the screen

Then why do we care
About the numbers
Our poetry makes

Unless we need to see
What others think
About what is ours alone

I know you are looking for me
I know you are here
I know you know who I am
Because I told you
But not directly

If you find me here, I am so sorry
I wrote my heart out here for the world to see
Whether or not they would like it
But I never meant for you to see it
But it's too late for that now, is it?

If you are offended, I am very sorry
I don't want it to destroy our relationship
Not that we already have a relationship
And I don't think we will ever have one
And I deserve all the reactions you will give

Because I love you
No matter what you do
No matter what I do
Whether or not it is requited,
This is unconditional.

And you may hate me for it.
But it's okay.

I want to see you everyday
I want to be with you everyday
I want to eat with you everyday
I want to smile with you everyday
I want to hold your hand everyday
I want to kiss you everyday
I want to sleep with you every night
I want to cuddle you every night

If I don't see you, I'd rather not see
If I'm not with you, I'd rather not show up to school everyday
If I can't eat with you, I wouldn't eat a single bite
If I can't smile with you, there's no reason to smile
If I can't hold your hand, my hands would be numb
If I can't kiss you, my mouth has no purpose
If I can't sleep with you, I would stay awake every night
If I can't cuddle with you, I'd rather be alone on this bed

I always wanted to hear the words "I love you."
I always wanted to hear the words "I care about you."
I always wanted to hear the words "I want you to stay."
I always wanted to hear the words "It's going to be okay."

I wish that one day, you would see
Why I always try to be with you, no matter what the problem was
I would do anything for you
I hope you would do the same for me

But I fear I am too selfish