How many times can this moment exist?
Drifting from minutes to actions within it
Crying, love songs, break up lyrics
It’s not physics, it’s his tricks
Meaningless nights, getting his kicks… off
How many times am I going to play the victim?
Girl just leave him alone, get rid of ‘em
Easier said than done.
Instead of looking at all the wrong, you dwelled on the fun
Not once did he say ‘a little romance, intimacy’
Desiring a piece of me
Am I delusional?
You have no idea how many times I’ve set here and cried
Looked out of my window
Admired the couples that pass
Trying not to feel low
But my sad emotions can not be surpass…ed
You’re not the first perhaps not even my last
The last thing that I’d want is for you to be my past
Each of you get me to write again
Describing my passionate sins
My desire
Into a slow burning fire
I want this to be my last. Time. Feeling like this.
Wish
I was a ****** to pain
Oblivious to her strain
Her persuasive power and gain
Like her, I can’t be tamed.
I thrive off of a challenge.
Each of you very different, but you all left the same imprint
My energy should have depleted by now
But some how…
Because I allow
My spirit to take over
I feel myself rise above the vindication of omission
The oblivion becomes reason
And I’m leaving…you.

Final. Complete. Dismiss.
End of lies. End of cries. End of days.
Dazed. Crazed. Dismayed at the fact before it started
It ended.
Reprimand my emotions, why don’t you?
Watch me fall graciously, gracefully to the concrete
A gentle touch ignored
Words unacknowledged
Differences now similarities
Wishes not dreams…
Lost in a sea of worry and despair
Gazing into your eyes were the highlight
And now even in daylight
Just as at night
It’s dark. Empty. Your pools are now shallow.
The depths behind my words were ignored.

Final. Complete. Dismiss.
Our last kiss
My remaining wish
Broken.
No point in hoping.
Crying. I’m fine.
This china was built from a man’s hand.
Sculpted meant to last.
My fragile heart crushed in the fight.
As I tried with all my might.
Patiently I sat. I waited. I wanted. I tried.
And as the night went by, my joy died.
I cried.
You lied.

Final. Complete. Dismiss.
How can I miss something I never had?
Never dared to dream because it all seemed
too pointless.
In my eyes, I placed you above the rest.
You were my test.
No answer key.
Just you and me.
You had no conquest because there was nothing to contest.
What I should have done was confess.
Reveal instead of conceal
And perhaps these feelings wouldn’t/couldn’t exist and be real.
Foolish, I hid them.
Giving you parts of me in parts.
Writings. Words. Actions.
But you are smart.
If I were half the woman I deemed myself to be
You would see.
That with me
Is all that you’d need.
BUT

Finalized. Completed. Dismissed.
I am going to miss… you.
All the things I longed to do with you.
If only you
Were you true…to your heart.
That part…you seem to ignore.
People are so blind to what’s in store
That they rather just be comfortable…and take whatever comes to their door
Step.
Step on my feelings, why don’t you?
Can’t you see a real hurting is here?
I fear because you have your head so far up your rear
You don’t even stop to care.
I’m serious and sometimes I feel like you are so full of ****.
Less than what I envisioned. Less than what I imagined.
Not even legit.
And yet…
Gazing into your eyes were the highlight
And even now in daylight
Just as at night
It’s dark. Empty.
Poetry is my way of formulating
The decaying
Parts of myself.
Me lying there with myself spread wide
Isn’t a woman of pride but one wishing to hide.
Man, that part of me is for no one to take and I gave that to you.
I was so true to you.
Never tried to play you like a fool.
NO rushing.
NO nothing.
But all this time I was frontin.
What I should have done was confess.
Reveal instead of conceal
And perhaps these feelings wouldn’t/couldn’t exist and be real.
I am ******* frustrated. Irritated. Elated with infuriating disbarment
Over this….this gotta be some *******.
****, sweetest **** I ever meant.
And that’s real.
You know what? I finally feel like I know why I don’t feel the thrill anymore
I feel like I’ve been dropped and kicked down to the floor
Just like before
Trying to break free of old habits
But I’m sorry
That **** doesn’t exist.
Chances and fate.
Those two should be set up for a date
So the two of them can relate and conversate
Try to come up with a reason why a sister can’t date
A decent man to save her life
All this heartache and strife
It can’t be that hard.
Right?

Can’t be final.
Can’t be complete.
Can’t be dismiss.*

It can’t be….
It can’t…

It won’t be.
It will not.
Be.

Never from streets

So I don’t know what it’s like
To fight for every bite
To **** for my steals
To sell dope for hope

Naw I’m not tryin to be mockery
I’m just starting to realize that democracy
Is just plain Hypocrisy

See I’ve never been a fan of the man
White, Black, any of them

I’m so caught up being an individual
That I’ve become delusional

How can one day we’re all about supportin’ each other
And then the next
We’re all vexed
in each other’s faces
Throwing out words about different races and old time cases
Can’t we just erase this?

Times are changing
But what about our foundation
Under the words of our Nation
And all things by His creation

Have we forgotten about that?

I feel like I can’t connect to my neighbor
So honoring them doesn’t fit my favor
To my left to the right
By day by night
I feel like I don’t know ****
About this:

The Election
Personifying my Perfection
Finding a Connection
To myself to us

Can Obama STOP the drama?
Can they end all this trauma?
Of young girls being ***** out of their virginity
All these little boys out here actin’ all hard
Because they forgot about unity

Wishes
Broken dishes
Fame
Not getting’ paid

600 Billion Dollars?
All to support the white collar
****…they must be mad ballers
Sittin all high livin fly
Not even worrying about how they gon get by

Half of ‘em don’t even have to try

I want to reach out and hold my brother
Let me be his cover

Thru the brush fires, quakes, shakes, and floods
Not one blood
Our bloods

Coming together in a place of Brotherhood
Shaking every other’s hand
Construct a band
Of Solidity
Of Strength
Of Loyalty
And With this
We cannot foil
And the black oil
Bleeding into our conscious streams
Will find a way to cease
If we increase
Our bond

I just want to be United
And be in different States

I just want to be One Nation, under God, Indivisible
Having the Liberty
To give and have Justice
For all.

*God Bless.…I guess…