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1.1k · Aug 2013
Insomnia mind battle vol.1
Brittany Weber Aug 2013
SPACE has many different definitions
Tonight I ponder only a few.

In OUTER space, the sun keeps the Earth happy and alive because it allows Earth to orbit her most spectacular fire
In OUR space, you were my sun, moon, and stars, the brightest of lights that could warm up my chilliest hours
We thrive on space,
Not only the space we make with others,
but the space we dont even recognize holding us afloat in our daily lives

None of us all knowing how important it is for space to exist
How vital it is to our being.
and the sad part is, we take it for f-ing granted
Its never enough.
We **** on and pollute the space not only mother nature gave us,
But the people who turn our ordinary days into extraordinary ones

And then it sinks in
That space,
all of that ******* motherfing space
Is everywhere.

What does it take for one to come to this conclusion?
It takes finding something(or one) that makes our own personal universes' balanced.
Our own personal sunshine wakeup call
Our blanket of stars to tuck us in each night
For what seems like such a short, pathetic amount of time until
The Black Hole ***** us back up

We become milky way bodies
Constellations grasping, clawing for each other as we
Spin
Dance and
spin
Parts of us burn out
Glowing as big and miraculous as ever and then
BOOM
Nothing.
Firecracker, flash,

Fade.

Its empty, vast, and lonely now.
Corroded, spent, ashamed

A lost child without its favorite blanket
A forever sleep in your dark
Constantly running,
Running from the space
Thats too big to fill
because of a presense
Far exceeding the capacity

One wouldn't willingly admit

Half a year of blinding heat
Memories etched eternally in my mind
Every day a struggle
To make the space between us
Bigger and bigger
Until you do not exist here anymore.
Brittany Weber Aug 2013
You took your vow
Made me yours
To have and to hold
Through sickness and health
...til death do us part...

'I didn't know what I was signing up for! I didnt know I was marrying a drug addict!!'

The vows were lies
So I wasn't the perfect wife, mother
Sorry was all I really was
Life with me was your own personal hell
And many times did you retreat to easier territory

Toss me out like yesterdays garbage

Then you brought me back in
I promised to be better
But the devil inside  always got me
I was scared to death to lose you
But the flames of hell begged me to burn

Because, you see, theres a few more things you didn't sign up for
Someone who pushes people away because they are scared to death of betrayal
(Which you showed me many times was a very real thing)
A human being who feels unworthy of any form of happiness or joy
A self-manipulator
One who sometimes questions if they enjoy the pain
Often the answer is yes, and then the earth opens and screams
And the demons do a little dance as they escape
Heading for my life
789 · Aug 2013
Soulmates
Brittany Weber Aug 2013
It begins with a look
A quiet exchange of the eyes
Time no longer exists
Seconds quicken to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to months
Becoming precious artifacts in a once empty soul
Every encounter shared becomes sacred
In this endless world of possibilities you two created
And then it happens
Your heart becomes so full with love, it feels as if it might burst
And then it happens

Your heart explodes
Matter strewn across places unknown
Millions of tiny pieces
Where you began, he ended
Every day now
night, filled with shards of rain
You see him everywhere
Because your imagination wishes it so
You become afraid of the dark
Not only the one in your head
But the absence of his slumbering silloutte traced by moonlight
Endless drudgery with a phantom limb
Dreams gone up in smoke
Mockingly dissipating
Like the hope you once had

                                


Forever turned to never
Pain absolute
688 · Sep 2013
I am the mother
Brittany Weber Sep 2013
I am the body
you nourished from
To ready your awakening
Into the sun

I am the eyes
who pierced yours first
Pure blue seeking blue
My heart could burst

I am the arms
That hold you near
Ever present warmth
to comfort my dear

I am the shoulder
You lay sleepy head
Quiet solitude
Puts you to bed

I am the mouth
That kisses boo-boos
Deliver my smile
doing what you do

I am the voice
You always find soft
Whenever you need answers
Because you feel lost

I am the face
You see at night
When terrors awaken
I soothe the fright

So sleep tight
my love
For I
Am always near
Brittany Weber Aug 2013
Its a long way to go
Take the people you will never know
And the things they'll never show you
Words we will never say
games our mouths will play

Lend me todays sorrows
And give me your tomorrows
Lets breathe this air foreboding
Exhale smoke rings of our loathing

The things you'll miss the most
Are those you'll never have
Unspoken words addressed to noone
Sleepless nights with my ghost
Your faceless expression
My cheshire smile
660 · Sep 2013
Presently pass(ed)
Brittany Weber Sep 2013
How dare I try to live
A life without your pain
Constant shredding of my heart,
My massacre
Your gain

I am your ****
Hunter's game
The sweet taste of me
Keeps you sane
Til the bloods drains my face
A wither of a frame
You'll abandon me again
as if you never came

Your absence
Makes me stronger
You sniff out
my glow within
god, you hate to see that light
Time to torture me again

Slither back into my presence
Frothing with lies
Forked tounge seductions
Hypnotizing eyes
Perform your serpent's dance
I'm like **** to flies

To you I am nothing
The puppet
To your puppeteer
Place my arms here
Mouth there
until youre satisfied
589 · Sep 2013
Whole
Brittany Weber Sep 2013
We are born as a whole
Two person's receipt
Fragile little lifes

Disruption
Deceit

We crawl through the shadows
Reaching for passing headlights
Especially those
Our pain most delights

We dance in their spotlight
scream, beg them to stay
Wishing only for some company
But they always drive away

So we cry
puddles on the sidewalk
Hope we can deliver smiles
Another one rounds the block
We gloriously splash

Now beads on a windowsill
We shake in the wind
vibrate to the rooftop
Roll off of you,
Again

One day you'll slip
Into a shallow puddle grave
My reflection will notice
But your soul can't be saved

— The End —