The Candle flickered.
As did my memories.
Both burn hot, dancing around the room.
Both sear my eyes when I stare too long.
As the lights hit the walls of my room,
I see us at the playground at 2 in the morning.
As the candle flame jumps,
I see the first time you told me you loved me.
My heart flickered in time with the fire.
When the light fades I see my fears and concerns illuminated.
Will I know when to put out the fire?

I'm terrified of being close to you.
Your smile.
Your laugh.
Your hugs.
They scare me.
Because it's too right.
I'm terrified,
of loving you.
Because I don't want the hurt.
Of you leaving me.
Like others have.
I'm neurotic.
Impatient.
Moody.
I'm a mess.
You don't want me.
I'm terrified.

An anger burns around the pages.
A flame dancing around paper.
It's dangerous.
It's lethal.
It'll **** me if I let it.

And yet,
I don't want to fight the temper anymore.

I find it curious,
that now when I hear your favorite songs,
I can only picture you singing them.
Like nobody else's voice compares.
And I can't sing along.
I can only picture you.
In the car.
Windows down.
Driving us to the park.
Singing.
Not to me,
but to yourself.
And that's why
it was so beautiful.
So meaningful.
So innocent.

Dear Stranger


I can’t say
I miss you.
Because I don’t.
I will say
That time that we went to the square
The band was playing
We weren’t listening
We sat on the grass
And I played with your hair
I miss that day
I miss the time lost
But regrets aren’t important
Except the regret
Of a friendship lost.
Something I desperately miss
But not you.
You were merely a player
In an elaborate game.


That I lost.