The silence of the nightfall is upon the world.
Not a single car,
nor a single horn.
Not a door shutting,
nor a garage opening.
Not a dog barking to get let in,
nor a cricket yelling "I'm awake".
A sudden break in the continuum--
metal twisted,
bones broken,
a last breath,
a scream,
followed by more.
A perfect concoction of
liquor, youth, and stupidity.
I look upon you now,
several emotions flash;
depression,
disappointment,
pity,
anger,
guilt,
but the only thought I have is,
it could
       have been
                        me.

That rush,
my heart pumping,
fear birthing excitement.
A needle
filled with dreams of bliss
complete relief for a slice of your life.
The taboo nature,
intentionally inflicting harm on oneself
paralleled by intentionally inflicting happiness on oneself.
A spoon,
a lighter,
a cotton swab.
So unsure of myself,
my heart rate accelerates,
my hair stands at attention,
the rubber haults circulation,
I search for a stream,
my brown medicine turns crimson,
the pressure of my thumb,
I remove the dam blocking my river and.
My eyes roll.
My body goes numb.
Seretonin overload.
I float back,
and fall into my bliss.
Hours of ecstasy.
I will always be a prisoner to
that rush.

A boy this day
brought into this world of violence and decay
in the streets he frays
in the beats he stays
turfs pullin him away
threatening his well-being
so he goes to hell stealing.
He's feeling
so alone
cuz on the streets there ain't nobody
you can call your home body.
People's faces you learn to go study
but no matter how long you try
a poker face strong to lie
and soon you are so drawn to die
you realize the wrong do die
and the strong do lie
and the few do cry
the politics pull him
through the war ensuing
black versus white
wrong versus right
dark versus light
day versus night
it's a trick know
to pick against a foe
but the situation is forced
beliefs sourced.
Born unto a fate,
in the streets of hate.

There he lies,
the crimson blood pools.
Many claim time stops,
many are naive,
time is an emotionless entity,
the clock with always tick
regardless of human action.
A woman screams
as if her son had welcomed death.
I stood cold as stone,
immobile as stone,
cold, rigor mortis.
The gun lies in his hand,
an extension of control,
intelligence didn't have the chance to **** him,
although one might argue intelligence initiated depression.
This is not an excuse for my actions,
merely a cause and effect situation.

Do your eyes see;
do you see me,
what I might be,
see me fight free.
Listen lightly,
knowing nightly,
reason rightly.
Watch them think,
on the brink,
at the end of the sidewalk,
writing with dried chalk,
Christening pride talk.
There's a mask you have to look behind,
I ask you to take out a book sometime.
The unconscious is linked to the eyes,
the tongue is linked to the lies.
Observe absorb,
cut the chord.
Be reborn before
the darkness overcomes,
a zombie you'll become.
We don't want constrained concentration,
we don't want absolute annihilation.
Knowledge possesses power,
watch the courageous cower,
as we rise from the ruins,
make them pay their dues in.
March with me some,
you'll find freedom.

Look at these people,
they think they are free,
can't they see,
there is a fee
to be "me" or "we".
Turn on your TV
tell me what you see.
Does anyone care what you think;
does your opinion make a difference?
Are you naive enough to believe an untold truth?
Will you follow in my footprints of proof?
If you answer is yes,
let me guess,
you have empirical knowhow;
you've never picked up a book;
you ain't guna start now.
I want you to seek out false propaganda,
take that man off his soap box.
Find the tape;
cut out the ***** in which the lies lie,
the flies fly,
the ties tie,
the dying die.
I ask too much of the world,
expect intelligence
and only receive disappointment.
Where is the need for knowledge?

That's when it started,
made me black hearted.
I drank.
First malt liquor,
I could make it disappear quicker.
Then I started to go thicker,
with a drink a bit richer,
a mixer.
***** with anything,
half a fifth or half a gallon,
it didn't matter,
didn't matter if I got madder,
or sadder,
as my wall shatters.
Fill it,
spill it,
will it,
chill it,
**** it,
keep it down,
without a sound.
No one can see that little girl,
broken, beaten,
down, defeated.
Blue and black,
from a hit or smack.
No tear in sight,
no will to fight.
Which way is right?
I just want to forget,
this person I met.
So I drink and drink,
until I can't think.

A drop,
then another.
Where does it originate?
at the midst of my breath intake.
The multiple storms that have passed,
and massed,
and cast,
into the depths of oblivion,
though it was not my vision.
For these dark days
where in dark ways
my dark frays
the dark greys
fade to black.
But, lifted with white,
candy for the adult mind.
Powdered power,
lifts me above the depths,
wanting to be kept.
Initial intensity dies,
mom cries,
mind fries,
mine eyes.
My lies,
it will never end.
So blood drop,
and white sniff,
until the last beat,
and I go stiff.

A breath,
all in the room exhale.
The lights are bright,
but I've overcome my first mountain.
I followed the light.
I left my comfort.
I am here.

A breath,
then another,
quickly another,
after a night invested in lust.
Universal emotions overwhelming.
I love you.
I am here.

A breath,
entrapped within tears.
Darkness overcomes for months;
I understand the complexity of loneliness.
Happiness will not become of me again.
Trying to decide, why
I am here.

A breath
deep, drawn out.
My nerves frayed.
The questions infinite, challenging.
A strong handshake,
a salary.
I am here.

A breath,
caused by beauty.
Not aesthetic beauty, but beauty of love.
He gasps at the sight.
The one at the alter,
and the one holding my arm.
I am here.

A breath,
this time it is not mine.
Although through the tears and pain,
my breath is loudest.
Five fingers embrace one of mine,
a small squeeze that reassures, Mommy,
I am here.

A breath,
used to tell them I love them.
I am off to a new world.
My chest rises and falls one last time,
fear does not reside beside me.
I am here.

Your eyes,
they reveal your soul.
I don't know if you think you're hiding,
but like the child behind the pole,
I can see everything.

You wanna ****,
create scars with the intention of pleasure.
And most times,
I crave it.
But my soul,
my heart,
my mind;
they desire the opposite.
Your tender lips on my forehead,
and your fingers entwined with mine.
Your arms protecting me from myself because you know I don't need protection from the world.
As sweat flows up and down our bodies
and drips to the satin below,
my breath grabs and catches.
A single tear,
the emotion all summed up in one last ******.
The after glow of your skin,
the beauty you wear,
the smile that changes you.

Compounded complexity
flexible freedom.
This world we live in...
hold your tongue
let me speak
let me creep
on our country's beliefs.
Ideologies invented by power,
to tell us when to cower,
when to talk
how to walk.
I have a mouth I refuse to shut
My words can be daggers
confident in consequence,
and hence,
I write these rhymes
to challenge your mind.
Look at your empty beliefs
in policies with no relief.
They seize your right
to fight,
stand up and be proud of who you've become.
Who are they to judge
when they smudge equality
and slash justice,
twist the meaning.
The poor stay poor
the rich get richer.
Kids grow up in the gutters
and the government mutters,
"we tried our best,
done all we can."
When the money is spent
in genocide
of those on "the other side"
unaware civilians
mass ****** is our forte
across the ocean
or in our streets,
But you aren't exempt,
blame yourself,
stand up and scream.
I want to put the fight in your eyes,
take off your mask of false certainties.
You think you know how this world works
instead you should step back
and see what you're worth.