the darkness knows how I feel
it welcomes everything and every thought
it doesn't shame me for the bad ones
the darkness simply accepts
it holds me into eternity
it surrounds all of me.

i don't talk about the darkness
people don't understand
the words are foreign to them
they try to shed light on the darkness
try to expose it as false
but how is it false when i feel it inside?

it shows itself in annoyance
through endless anger
building behind the scenes
it exists in the fleeting thoughts
making myself uneasy, disgusted
yet it was me who thought them.

the darkness makes me want to scream
it makes me itch beneath my skin
as if it is trying to claw out from inside
it sits in the back of my mind
toying with my humanity
pressing me to let it out.

but i can't, it stays, not yet to be unleashed
it would wreck havoc in the world
destroying me and itself in the process.

(m.y.)

Have you ever seen the magic in your eyes?
Have you caught a sideways glance of yourself
in a mirror in a moment of happiness?
I'm not sure if you've ever had the chance,
but darling I have.

I have seen the laughter escape from your lungs
like a burst of light from fireworks.
I have seen your eyes twinkle from admiration
like stars in a vast open sky.
I have seen your smile spread across your face
like the heat of a fire reaches your hands,
slow at first but whole and warm at full grin.

I wish you could see it,
I wish you could see your beauty
from the love that has blossomed within you.

(m.y.)

in
     out
in
     out
in
     out
in
then do it over again

breathing fast as I lay
I can't stop breathing
    *******    t o d a y
my heart starts aching
beating fast and breaking
the world  s p i n s  around
as i  c
          r
           u
             m
                b
                  l
                   e  to the ground
everything starts shaking
these tears I am not faking
it all goes black and blind
yes darkness..
              take me..
                   please be kind..
(m.p)

I feel so lost
And insecure
I walk through the world
Everything a blur
Since I can't see
I can't focus
The world is just
A great big place
That I can face
I hide away
Everyday

On our second date
At a rose garden
I said to you
"What would you do
If I ran away from you?"
You said "I'd chase and catch you."
So I ran as fast as I could
And sure enough you did.
You caught up and grabbed me.
Held me gently and kissed me.
But it was the only time you did.
Cause when I fell
So deep in love with you.
Catching me was the last thing
You would do.

The floor length mirror
Shattered
As she threw all her pain at it
It threw back
Cut her skin
The blood reflected
In the pieces
Beautifully
Finally she felt at peace
Laying on the floor
Hoping no one would
Open the door
"No one needs to see
The pain inside of me"
Her anger left her
Like the blood did too
And all she thought about
Was looking at you
She wished you could see
How terrible she could be
It was only an accident
Breaking the mirror
"I didn't really want to go
And now no one will ever know."

I can be fooled by a simple look
From your eyes, my questions shook
Inside my soul and like a book
They won't be shown
Unless they're read
They won't be known
Unless they're said
So please read the lines
That line my soul
If you have a question
I'll make it my eternal goal
To find the answer I'd do for you
But for me there's nothing you'll ever do

The birds chirp outside my window
The sun shines in to wake me from my pillow
The wind and with it trees are blowing
While the water on the earth is flowing
The kids play outside in the fields
Enjoying life cause innocence shields
It protects them from the real world
Happiness in them is pure it is not swirled
It has not mixed with any hardships
They have not experienced the darkness
The world is perfect to them
It has not yet had a chance to condem
They laugh and smile
Enjoying the peace as they run around for miles
But then they'll grow up and see
That the world is not all that it turns out to be
It's hard to do and hard to live
Some people take and others give
You have to know what's right
You have to know what's wrong
You have to see the light
And you've got to be strong
To get through whatever comes at you
And no matter what you have to do
Always do it for it might make the difference
If its what you believe you'll make that inference
And try to live your life to get to the end
So you finally get to where you're meant

The silence of this room
Echoes in my brain
While the flowers outside bloom
My life carries so much strain
The sun outside is shining
I'm in my bed and pining
For your voice to fill my head
So I'd stop forever listening
To the world outside glistening
And I'd stop wanting to be dead

Under the darkness
That's where we were
The light of the moon
Lighting the car
I see your eyes
As they stare at my face
As your fingers touch me
And my body they trace
The feeling between us
Was unbelievable
It's undeniable
At least for me
Who knows if we'll ever be
What I know in my heart
All I ever want to see
Is us never to be apart
I cry in the night
By that same moonlight
Thinking about what I've lost
And the lines I've crossed
To try to be with you
Something I'll always do
Like I said I'll always be chasing
Even when it's heartbreak I'm facing.

Nobody is thinking of me
Not them or he or she
Why would they
What can I be
I'm nothing but a thinker
Makes me a sinker
With everyone's mood
No one wants
Me around
That's why I'm at the lost and found
He throws me out
So why shouldn't you
Its exactly what you'll do
So please just go
Leave me alone in this room
Leave me alone to my doom
Where I sit in my thoughts
And stare at the knots
Tangling my feelings
And bruises on my heart
From all the beatings.
I think
You drink
Leave me alone
Just go home.

His face
His eyes
His lips
His sighs
I trace
The lines
That intertwine
Upon his skin
It's a dream world I'm in
When I'm with him
(m.p.)

Meant to be... Are we?
I really wish I knew
If there was a way to see
I would be the first to know
For then, if not, it'd be easier
to be okay with you being with her
Although if it were so
I probably wouldn't really want to know
Cause even if, you'd stay away
for with her you'd be stuck
No matter what i'd say
Stuck you are it's obviously so
So even still it wouldn't matter to know.
(m.p.)

I cannot take the way you stare
Reminding me there is something there
You stare and stare into my soul
Reminding me of all the woe
The pain that comes from loving you
is something that i never knew
Until the night i fell for you
till then just now it comes anew
It comes and comes in all its glory
Reminding me of the story
Of times long past of us together
When i thought it'd last forever
(m.p.)

The looks you give
they **** me in
and then i'm lost to you.
I'm lost to you and
the life you live
like one big sin
I can't help but give in.
For it eats away at me
forever into the darkness
You and it have such a likeness.
It's crazy and insane
to think you'd ever whisper my name
but still it's all I ever wish.
I wish for truth and honesty
in all you've ever thought of me
beyond the time we were together
into the endlessness of never
where the feelings come and go forever.
(m.p.)

Why? Why? Why?
Why don't you look me in my eye?
As we pass each other in the hall you walk right on by.
You act as if nothing ever happened and I begin to cry.
How is it that we could be so close,
needing each other everyday like a clearly set dose?
Now it's like we never even met,
and all I'm wishing is to be able to forget.
Forget all the things you ever said.
Erase all the memories inside my head
For now every time I see you depart,
you crush the pieces of my newly broken heart.
(m.p.)

Did I ever once mention,
All that I've longed for you?
Did I ever once question,
If I even belonged with you?

I know you must hate,
To see me like this,
To come to my fate,
To end my true bliss.

But it must come,
And you know it.
And when you hear the droning hum,
You'll know my light has been lit.

You may fret,
You may be calm.
You may become upset,
But I’ll already be gone.

Please love me
You don't understand
How much I want you
To be my man
You encompase my
Whole being
I want you more
Than anything
(m.p.)

I want to bite you
Kiss your neck
leave a mark
let you do the same
I need to feel that pain
I'd arch my back
From the lack
Of feeling that
You'd hear the moan
Come from my throat
And stiffle it with kisses
Cause you know I miss this
I miss you
And what we do
I miss your touch
I'm always in your clutch
You control my emotions
Make my body feel awoken
It's why we're meant to be
I only wish that you could see
(m.p.)

This is too much for me
I thought we were meant to be
But I was wrong
I'll quit listening to our heartbreaking song
I'm beginning a new start
Soon you'll no longer be in my heart
You're just another player
Forgetting you, will be in my prayers
(m.p.)

Over and over my memories **** me
Reminding me of what we should be
They pop in, and out of the blue
And everytime I wish for you.
Maybe I'm stupid for thinking
that this was more than just a fling,
That to you I actually meant something.
Something more that you would miss,
who you'd give anything for just to kiss.
I never thought I'd end up pushed away and forgotten,
Like Something just plain old and rotten.
I actually thought we'd be together forever
But as it turns out we'll be together never...
(m.p.)

I've been broken
I've been broken many times
So many times I thought I had felt everything
I thought I could take it all on
Cuz I've dealt with being broken before
I know I can get over being broken
Its easy
You pick your self up, put everything back together again, and move on.
Like I said I can fix being broken.
But I'm not broken not anymore
I'm shattered
So shattered I can't just pick up all the pieces
They're too little and I'll only hurt myself more trying to.
I can't just get up off my floor and go about my life pretending nothing is wrong.
I can't just move on, I feel so much for you that I can't.
I can't
It all hurts too much.
And even though it's all happened
All I want to be is in your arms crying
Having you hold me and telling me how incredibly stupid you were
that you're sorry so so so sorry
that you only want me
And that everything will be okay in the end....
(m.p.)