it's okay if i'm not the girl of your dreams
or the one you dance with at prom.

i just want to be the girl you think about
twenty years from now
as youre staring at your morning coffee,
wishing you hadnt poured so much milk in.

because now its much too creamy to resemble my dark brown eyes

it wasn't until i was sitting on the floor of my shower,
hyperventilating your name into my hands,
that i realized you were the air i struggled to breathe
and i wasn't even the dirt under your ******* finger nails.

i don't think you understand,
i would have done anything for you
thrown away my entire life
all for you.

but you took that and you used it.

you used it against me,
hoping you could take what you needed
and get going.

so that's exactly what you did.

you broke me
taking every single ******* good thing about me
and destroying it.

you didn't even think twice
or look back at the mess you made
but what hurts more than this constant ache in my ******* heart,
is that even though you you've never been mine,
I've always been yours,
and i still am in a twisted way.

when you sleep its almost like all of your pains don't exist,
like they went far far away,
the hard part is waking up.

the first thing you remember is the last thing you thought about before you went to sleep.

and that's when you start to feel the horrible ache in your chest,
when you wake up hoping to see the one person you love most beside you,
because if they were there,
not just in your thoughts,
maybe the ache would dull,
maybe every morning wouldn't be as painful,
maybe then it would be okay.

but they aren't there,
making every morning just as painful as the last.

that's the problem,
if she wanted to dance,
id let her wreck the furniture.

if she wanted to cook,
id let her burn down the ******* house.

and if she wanted to scream,
id let her deafen me.

I've never loved anyone enough to let them destroy me but ****,
she could take me by my throat,
and my eyes would sparkle at the mere inches between us.

i thought you actually cared,
when you sent those messages.

you said how you were sorry
and how you missed me so dearly
only for me to find out you were drunk
and i was the most gullible
and closest contact
to your fingers.

i saw you with him today,
the schools very own 'golden boy'.

i would tell you how surprised i
am that you've already moved on,
but i'm not.

i'm in no way surprised actually; I've
always known you were like that.

one minute you were telling me how
you would fix me,
and the next minute you were out the
door, running straight into the arms of our schools very own golden boy.