You think you know yourself, then you look in the mirror and its someone else staring back at you.

In the darkness of the room, I wait and have been waiting; I want and need to see your face one more time. Your sweater is losing the smell of you. I cant see you in my mine anymore I am losing you slowly and I want to go back to that day and tell you I love you one last time. I wish I could have stopped time, the minute before you were going to let go of me.
I went to see you today. I came hoping I would feel you with me one last time. I wish I had held onto you longer that day, kissed you a little longer. So I would still have you here. Weeks have pasted since you left me, as I sat next to you the rain started to fall with my tears as they fell down my face. I scream but no one heard me, I am so mad at you that I can no longer touch you or see your baby blue eyes, I want you with me so bad that I would take my own life to be with you, just then I felt it and a warm feeling around me, just then I saw you sitting with me. I saw your smile and heard your voice say “I love you” and I feel at peace.

I feel as if I am fading.
The wind no longer makes me cold; the sun doesn’t make my skin warm.
I have lost all sense of myself.
I look to the moon and see nothing it used to make me feel safe but know I feel nothing as if I am empty.
Alone in the dark.

Scared of the future, The moment where life goes black in front of you. Cant see if that next turn is going to lead you down the wrong road.

Anger building up like a kettle ready to blow. Steam ready to blow that warning sound. Building up and up till the hole in the wall is the only thing there reminding you that your not okay.

With heavy eyes I see the outline of your sleeping self, listening... Listening to the beat of your heart.
I move to allow my heavy eyes sleep when I hear your heart quicken. My heavy eyes fall. I feel you tighten your embrace around me as my heart quicken with yours. Then in a moment’s notice our beating hearts are as they should be as one...

The shadows come and consume me in the day time. Not a cloud in the sky but I seem to be in the dark again. I want to find the light but I know that I wont be able to. You were leading me out  but that was the day that you kissed me goodbye and it all went dark.

Love who you want to,
Love not who you don't.
Love them on your own terms

Too often I see the looks you give her, and I know what they mean, because they're the looks I give you and I know what they mean for me.

Walking to you in the night as the rain falls heavily.
The lights of the hall way flickering maybe telling to turn away from going to you.
At your door ready to knock, hand frozen waiting, the shadows breath the door telling me you know I’m there.
Door opens, you standing in front of me, as if my body just reacts to your movements. We step towards one another. Holding our breath as if its our last as one. His arm wrap around me, that breath I once had on my own is now gone. He has taken away my power to be one. Gently I only hear the click of the door. His kiss has now taken my one breath and made it our breath. We breath as one, no longer able to find which breath is our own.
Letting me know that I am not alone any more, that I am with him and we are ONE.

I drive down the winding road just to find its a dead end, get out and start walking, come to a cliff, toes on the edge close your eyes, Feel the wind in your hair, turn around and fall, fall into the straight and strong into the nothingness below and remember each day is not going to be the same as the last. Some things are meant to be forgotten.

I want to run as fast as I can. I want to run and never look back, make the distance between a good thing. I want the feeling of being a lone and free.