for years I haven't been worthy I've never written on the left side I've never counted the right amount of rungs on the ladder of my life I'll always overestimate I'll always be underestimated
my legs will fall asleep sitting indian style I'll lie to myself so many times I am a thief
my ashtray is overflowing with my secrets ***** ashes of who I used to be smug butts of forgiveness and regret
you'll never see me as solid or balanced
I'll never see myself as anything other than the deepest wanderer and that is an unkempt mess to you
I think it's in my blood to love to be aloof among white picket fences to scar easily and to cry under a witch's spell rearrange my things throw them away give them away I'm going to give you away you're just old ***** laundry with a stronger stench to you
your long eyelashes, closed for sleep my rejected hand mingles in your strands of unmanageable hair my slumbers spent next to you, meant as nothing more than a convenience my back aches as I wake up from embracing you thoughtlessly a bad habit