I went back to make my bed
Making beds makes for a better night
a better day a better heart

My luck has turned around
Leaving me with a pro
when I was prepared for every con

spending time figuring out the stress lines of your face
the dimples in your eyes and the straightness of your teeth
finding a way to touch you in the right way
spending time moving my arms in every embrace
to find the one that fits perfectly
like the way you fit on my mouth

I want to fall into the virtual arms of another
To sing with a dove over days up ahead
I want to steal the vibe of a single yellow flower
To create a vibrant aura of love and humbleness

I want to smile again
hold your head to my heart
Smell your scent on my sheets

I want to pick up a trail of your left belongings
unravel your belt and remember what you left with me
a choice of life or death in nights
you left me alone

Keep me in mind when you lie in bed
with another girl
who you want to hold your heart
but she can't, she can't
because my tortured soul is holding it captive
until you come back to the broken mess of me you left

my head is humming from a lack of you
like a constant headache from the wrong prescription
a pounding in my fingertips from cigarette withdrawal
a stomach ache from
far
too
many
pills

I'm stuck
in a coin pouch of conscious
In a brain of confusion
overwhelming anxiety

I'm sick
of a diagnosed state
of a mental stability analysis
of a dosage upped after every visit

I'm alone

I remember false hopes
They bloomed within my wrists
Stripping down my veins to nothing
How easy it may be to cut those hopes

I remember heavy boots
How they pulled me down hard
Like thick soled Doc Martins on cold concrete
The cement I have spackled with is weighin' me now

I can't remember the letters I wrote
With song lyrics decorating the envelopes
A letter full of words that run together in font
My commitments to you on every other line

I just can't remember