Its hard to care when
The only thing you've loved
Has been buried in years of wastefulness,
And months of regret.

You told me to look at myself,
What a piece i've become.
And now i do,
When i'm intoxicated and nearly dead,
With my guts on the ground.
My reflection off the puddle,
The stench of a collection of teeth.
I know who i am.

I am an alcoholic,
My flesh aches for a new body.
I am a christian,
Hypocritical and a liar.

You told me to listen to myself,
How i've changed from a whisper to a scream.
And now i do,
When i'm chewing on glass bleeding from the throat,
With my tongue swollen,
My ears have never been so relieved.
I've never been so relaxed.
I know who I am.

I am an insomniac,
Vision is tempered to a point.
I am a pessimist,
God i swear i'm going to die.

An indifference figure our past has created,
And friday is coming.
A reunion I swear it,
But for now I'll just remain dead.

----------------------------------------------------------­----

I know who i am.
I'm a nobody,
And you're perfect.

I've got a romance with death,
How sweet the sound.
How sweet the fragrance,
On the roadside I've found.
It lay with its head,
At ninety degrees.
It is my bride,
A lovely disease.
A kiss on the lips,
Cold and dry.
The voice of a whisper,
No ears could deny.
So with the dead I sleep,
The living I walk.
The breathing i eat,
The resting I talk.

A marriage I've proposed,
While heavens doors are still closed.

I look up to my God,
Down to the dead.
I lay in a coffin,
Needless of a bed.
Engaged now I am,
Under an ember rivers sky.
I now have the plague,
But I will never die.

Christ.

Look at my decay,
How my teeth have left their state.
How my love is on a journey,
How these deaths are out of date.
I miss the dead aroma,
Oh,
I need the smell.
It's the closest to death that we can get,
The stench of hell.

Jesus is dead,
But  I will never die.
The children have bled,
But I hold up the ******* Sky.

-----------------------------------------------------------­-------------

Forever And Always,
Til Life Does Us Part.

You've cut me down the middle,
You've taken the beating right out of my heart.
You've peeled the scabs and created scars,
You've given the world one less relationship.

And do you know what its like,
To feel for a person who no longer cares?
I can see his hand,
Running through your hairs.
I can see his lips,
Touch those lips that should be mine.
I can see him telling you he loves you,
A thousand times.

But he'll never love you like me,
I only wish i had another chance.

And do you know what its like,
To watch your girl laugh at another mans jokes?
Those smiles you exchange,
The laughter included.
Your hands on his knees,
And his whispers in your ear.
I can see his hand around your waist,
And your head laid against his shoulder.

But he'll never hold you like me,
You were my dreams.

And do you know what its like,
To cry over texts?
Texts you saved because they were special,
Texts that mean something only to you.
Words that were only thirty,
But seemed like a million.
And i can see his hands guide your shirt,
Until it drops to the floor.

But he'll never dream of just one night,
Of your breath in my lungs.
Like me.
Never.

-----------------------------------------------------­--------------------------------

And I can see the past we shared,
And a future we'll never have.

I dug my way through those darkened tunnels,
No fears of what was in the dark.
Only what was following me.

I never knew,
Until it was over.
I'm so sorry,
The way it happened.
I let my anger get the best of me,
And now coyotes feast on undeserving flesh.
Because of me,
Because of her.

I'm sorry mother,
This isnt me.
Forgive me father,
For i've killed my own brother.

Its as if his begging wasnt good enough for me,
As if his soul leaped into my arms.
But it was so wrong,
I killed him with my own hands.
And his skull is a cloud,
Raining blood onto withering blades of grass.
Oh how it drips,
Oh how his heart keeps on pumping it out.

Dear,
Be ashamed.
Baby,
This is partially your fault.

And as i near the end of the tunnel,
My legs give out.
I stand on my knees,
Fingers digging away at this eerie guilt.
I think "I could peel all the skin off my body,
And lay here to rot".
But my own flesh is laying in a nearby field,
And its missing a home.

Sister,
Watch the sky for something brilliant.
Brother,
I'll see you soon.

--------------------------------------------------

Withou­t a proper dirt blanket,
How can you sleep forever peacefuly?

Smiles are fading like
A fire once watched.
And The room dies,
As detail becomes a lie.
A *****'s fragrance lingers,
But it's the dust that makes it hard to breathe.
Breathe is what she said to do,
But he could naught but smile.

You said you'd always be there,
You dared to call me yours.
You dared to hold me in your arms,
And now blood taints the floors.

Heads are dangling over
The railings emotionless and pale.
Pigments have shattered,
Leaving painted glass on the floor.
Shades of gray haunt the realm,
Establishing a harmonic depression.
Asmodeus left his mark,
And he has yet to return.

You had me hanging on a cliff,
All you had to do was pull.
Instead you pushed away,
Leaving me to fall like everyone else.

Stillness.
It stains the room.
But she makes her way,
She'll cross as she pleases.
Even the blood on the corner
Of their lips remain still.
But the girl in the red dress,
She walks the floor.
She grabs the rope.
She kicks the chair.

You lived the life no one wants.
You played us like a deck of cards.
But its your swinging corpse
That brought this room back to life.

------------------------------------------------------

If­ you cant handle love,
And you cant handle life,
How the **** could you handle ****?