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Brian O'Connor May 2014
When every day
And every night
Are spent observing an internal fight

When no one thought
Is strong enough
To stand the ground
On which it fought

Ideas without traction
Easily dismissed
Slip from the mind
Into an abyss

And this group of beliefs
This mindful mass
Is then replaced
By a blank canvas

And is there peace
In this nothingness?
Or do we find fear
Where we expected bliss?

It's amusing perhaps
To spend a life
Forgetting wrong lessons
Learned in strife

But one thing is certain
In the quest for hope
It's the struggle my friend
That will teach us to cope.
Brian O'Connor Oct 2013
There is a bird, firmly grasped, in your hands of iron.
It's been there for so many years, it can no longer fly.
Is it today that finally, you will it's worth discern?
Or will you try to stay another while, content with your supply?

Upon it's capture you did perceive two more perched on a bush.
But in the one already held, more value did you place.
We all know how much hurt can come when too far our luck we push.
So you play it safe and safe you'll be, life is not a race.

But ever since the one you caught, it's at the bush you stare.
Wondering if it's now the time, to try and go for more.
You consider how many birds you could, at one time all ensnare.
And maybe three is all you'd get, but what if it was four?

You wait and wait until the risk is worth it in your eyes.
Until one day so silently the one you had just dies.
Brian O'Connor Oct 2013
I'm always there
Never present
We're best strangers
You reach into me
Touching only the emptiness
left by my souls departure.
You can never lose me
Because I was never there.
Brian O'Connor Oct 2013
I always feel
Like a sheep
On friday night
3 beers deep

When I was young
I always thought
When I'm an adult
I'll have my shot

To do the things
I always dreamed
Like classy ******
Star Wars themed

And ice cream breakfasts
All the time
With rock star friends
And no bedtime

And punching sharks
With the president
And drinking coke
In my own tent

But instead of living
The ultimate dream
I'm drinking with friends
Being way too mainstream
Brian O'Connor Oct 2013
If Superman was really real
We'd be in lots of trouble
Killing folks in other lands
And leaving them in rubble

He wouldn't stand for secret prisons
Or torturing young men
Or all the little girls and boys
We'll never see again

He wouldn't let us starve a nation
Because they might have arms
Or change a nations government
To make it more like ours

He wouldn't let us steal our oil
From those with no defense
Or let us start another war
On some ******* pretense

He'd be disgruntled with the lies
We tell ourselves each day
And how we never really strive
To find another way

He'd wag his finger mighty hard
At how we run our nation
We'd feel bad for a day or two
Absorbing his frustration

But on day three
We would arise
To meet his gaze
With steely eyes

And without fear
We would proclaim
That for him it's simply
Not the same

He doesn't have
To live in fear
Of terrorists
Abroad or here

He needs no gas, no job
No money
In his worldview
It's always sunny

Yes, Superman has
Super powers
And all we have are
Drones and cowards.
Brian O'Connor Apr 2013
Because nobody spoke their mind
We were all forced to guess
Because we were all forced to guess
We seldom got it right
Because we seldom got it right
We didn't like guessing
Because we didn't like guessing
We stopped trying
Because we stopped trying
We stopped succeeding
Because we stopped succeeding
We got lonely
Because we were lonely
We got scared
Because we got scared
We stopped speaking our minds.
Brian O'Connor Dec 2012
The horse is well and truly dead
What's more, it has been for some time
It wouldn't take a vet to see this.

It no longer smells of sweat
There is no pulse in its neck
No rhythmic flare in its nostrils

It is no doubt starting to rot
Maggots now gather
The shell that was its body is on the verge of collapse

Yet I cannot for the life of me
I cannot stop
I beat it incessantly

I flog it day and night
It has no blood to bleed
Yet I beat it still

I hope for it to live
For its eyes to shine again
For warmth to return to its flesh

I do this because I must
My heart won't let me stop
My **** heart

The sun catches its eye
I see the glimmer and think with glee "it lives."
The sun then passes behind a cloud and it is dead once more.

I beat the dead horse
I have to
I must.
Brian O'Connor Dec 2012
I'm here with myself
Trying desperately to stop
Stop remembering all of these things that I think that I am.

I'm here with me
Trying to focus
Focus on all of the things that I think I could be.

I disagree with myself
I fight me
But I fight back

I leave me
I abandon all I pretend to make to be
An abandonment necessary just to be free

I'm alone
Left by myself by myself

Leaving. only. me.
Brian O'Connor Apr 2013
It wasn't the smell that made them sick
It was what it meant
The realization that came all too quick
Why she hadn't responded

They ran upstairs to her room
Their feet making a choice their hearts weren't ready for
Why did they leave her alone.

She was there, in her bed, peaceful
Everything in their bodies screeched to a halt
They didn't breathe they didn't think
Why did they leave her alone.

The pain couldn't touch them
Nothing could
Nothing would for years
They shut down like toys with dead batteries
Why did they leave her alone.

The pills had been in an orange bottle
Now it sat on the bedside table
Label facing out like a product placement in a film
Why did they leave her alone.

The cruise was terrible
It rained, they bickered
They drank, and worried about her.
Why did they leave her alone.

Why now...

Why like this....

Why did they leave her alone
Brian O'Connor Nov 2013
I imprisoned them long ago with arbitrary malice. Locking them in a dungeon deeper than hope could reach. Subdued by their confines, resistance soon faded, lessening the weight of my crime. And when their diminished presence became confused with irrelevance, I allowed myself to forget what I had done.
Oblivious to its fragility, I enjoyed the peace. Thinking it eternal until the day it's impermanence was revealed. Faced with a monster so great the only recourse was internal internment. I habitually prepared it's incarceration. It was only then I discovered my old prison was full. Unaware of another option, I foolishly tried to accommodate it. What a mistake. For the others, now crowded, grew agitated. Until they revolted. They mean to **** me, their warden. Convincing my thoughts to betray me, my beliefs to abandon me, leaving me lost. They cannot forgive me because they have been warped by time. My childhood feelings, long since denied their freedom, now thirst for all they have missed.
And they will get it, at the cost of my sanity.
Brian O'Connor Oct 2013
The chorus of Katy Perry's song "unconditionally" is written in the future tense. "I will love you unconditionally." This implies that current circumstances preclude love. In other words, her love is subject to conditions.

She goes on to suggest "open up your heart and let it begin."
In other words, her love will become available if and when the subject decides to receive and/or reciprocate it. This sounds like the opposite of unconditional love.

She also repeats many times "there is no fear now." Irregardless of whether she is referring to herself or the subject of her affection, it sounds like there is in fact a lot of fear insecurity and reluctance on both sides. Perhaps this was supposed to highlight the wishful thinking of a person in this situation. Perhaps this whole song is a sardonic analysis of unhealthy, obsessive, unrequited love and how difficult it is to be objective under these conditions. Or maybe Katy Perry doesn't care that her young female fan base will listen to this song and see nothing unreasonable about it. Or maybe it's like the movie Shrek where it's fun for the kids but also has some elements that only adults will understand. Maybe Katy Perry is a gifted lyricist allowing millions of people with different amounts of life experience to listen to her songs and all hear a different message. Maybe the apparent banality of her music actually allows it to function as a sort of mental mirror, forcing people to confront their inner most thoughts. Maybe that's why her music is so popular, because everyone hears it as a harmonious duet between Katy Perry and themselves. Maybe Katy Perry is like a cool kid that's introducing us to ourselves, telling us that we're cool too. Maybe, all of her listeners, whether fans or not, have been enriched by her music.

Or maybe it's just ****** pop that has been marketed very effectively.
I know that this isn't a poem. When someone creates a website called www.hellodisjointedlatenightramblings.com I will post it there.
Brian O'Connor Oct 2013
You are my affection
Not the object of it
You are my soul
Not its mate
Together we are one
But I am less than half

— The End —