I had that dream again
where I die in the tunnel
I am driving even though I don’t drive,
the car varies,
the bigger the fight
the larger the car:
My Mom, my best friend,
my Dad
the country side is blank
like a postcard I bought in Chicago when I was 5
in the tunnel I’m all alone,
like those nights my Mom had to work late
those nights when I feared she wouldn’t be back
I start to panic, and my palms start to sweat
I get so close to the end,
then a loud CRACK,
releases the water from its cage
I run and try to escape
with every step I am pushed back 5
I start to swim, and I still get nowhere
I beg, in my head, for someone to help me
yet no one is there
the water rises to the top
I take my last gasp of air
I plunge into the dark limitless water
close my eyes and pray
even thought I haven't prayed for years
I feel guilty, I abandoned my faith
now I will die and I am a sinner
I ask for life, but beg for forgiveness
then I see Him
the dark man looking at me
I’m not scared just curious
we lock eyes
He smiles
I feel safe
He is dressed in cultured dress
and His hair is cut short
His face like a road map,
aged like wine
His eyes tell you more
then a greek storyteller
no judgement
no fear just love
in His great big brown eyes
the grandpa I never knew
smiled at me
I felt safe an opened my mouth
water rushed desperate to be a part of me
I wake up
my lungs ache
my arms and legs are sore
and I can’t take my eyes off my ceiling
looking for cracks and drops of water

Why ravage
precious time
on Earth
with complaints
and petty insults?
Like seeds of flowers'
summers spent,
the minutes sail on
careless breath
while waiting
for your
blessings.

you just sit in
the bottom of my heart
like you belong there
leaning against the
hollow cave
one leg thrown over the other
hands locked behind your head
relaxed
whistling an airy tune
just like it was
your living room
and i was your house
i carry you around like this
all day
every day
and you
smugly
refuse to leave

I got dumped
by you
the only guy who I ever believed
really loved me -
how ironic.

I got talked into you
by you
despite my reluctance
despite my misgivings
despite all of my contrived logic.

We rode together
in carriages
and walked
snow-lined streets
in nineteenth century
New York City.

Resistance evaporated,
like steamy breath
from horses' nostrils
on a wintry night.

Despite the cold,
beads of sweat
settled on my arms and legs,
so sweet they were,
I licked them off
myself.

My troubled vision
transformed
into knowing
and there was nothing left
to banter about
to and fro
yes and no
up and down.

But just before the titillating ******
could occur
. . .
you dumped me.

I took that carriage ride alone
back to my former self.
I tipped the driver generously
for returning me
to the abrasiveness
of words
and the sense
of duality.
They became my comfort now.

He said he couldn't leave his wife
alone that night
even though
I propositioned him
handsomely.
Clearly he was tempted.

How deluded we mortals be.

Tight-****** chest
thinks it's protecting itself
from the evening thunder
and all that it portends.

Unaware of its dilemma,
the distant sound
of a faint rainfall
gently persuades itself into its grip,
loosening it.

The blessing occurs.
The tears fall.

She came into my life
a karmic explosion
over a pristine
midnight blue
upstate New York
lake,
its breath
damp and warm
and sweet.

Gasping,
labored efforts
expelled a preganant breath,
a prelude to
life.

Blackflies engaged in rutualistic seance.
Lethagic mosquitos emerged
from the evening's sweet mist.
But then raged into frantic spirals,
squealing out futile messages.

Timid pines,
guardians of the ancient site,
loosed their rigid stance,
Prickly spines shivered to the ground.
Anxiously, they awaited rumors
that would quell the fetal dread
that flowed through veins,
invading their bliss.

A bulky mass stirred from somnolent state
in that mud-lined basin,
releasing brown ribbons of agitation,
and inciting a ravenous hunger.

Friendly galaxies,
former guides in his dream state,
abandoned his cause,
flickering a vague adieu.

Having cradled him for so long,
the slick muddy floor now sent him flailing to and fro,
an ungainly dance,
embarassing to watch.

Where once he thrived,
he now gasped for air.

Crusty old lion
sits atop the fence,
a transient from the endless circus,
eyeing a prickly pear cactus flower.

Meditating upon its ephemeral beauty,
he asks the eternal question:
Fleeting flower of yellow and pink,
is the will to charm still there?

My son, how could I not
be charmed by your
exquisite roar, followed by
the delicate blooming of your innocence?

Then remember me that I
may remember our predicament!

- collaboration with Brian Oarr

From last night's wine

From the bruiser of a woman
Who challenged me
With insecurities so well-packed away
That she actually thinks she is in control!!!!!!

From the unfulfilling patience
Of an unfulfilled love
Of an absent lover

I'm so tired I accidentally left my dog locked outside all day.
(Good thing he's so good-natured.)
I can stand to learn from his forgiving nature.

I think I'll go now.
I have some grumbling to do.

Who stole you?
Your beautiful face,
Your lovely heart,
Your sweetness,
Your tenderness?
Who stole you?