That week
nearly a year ago
When we didnt speak
Each day
Disappointment in your son
Took you past the point of tears to
Pure avoidance
Of eye contact, speech,
And everything in between
Unable to look at me
Without steady streams
Cascading down your face
I thought i had hurt you beyond forgiveness
And that week I learned what it would be like to live without you
If only you knew the hurt
I went though
Having caused pain so deep
You couldnt even speek to me
Feeling your
Forgiveness, your love
Was like being pardoned of a life
Sentence
Like being led to the light
Out of darkness
Like I was a dehydrated desert wanderer
You were my water
You quenched my thirst
You loved me first
And I love you in return

As i come to terms
With what I've learned
I find
It's time
For which I've yearned
Time to love
And time to teach
Time to make sweet memories
Killing is easy
It's the hunt that proves deceiving
Because who can find time,
On a planet so preoccupied

Theres a tired tiger
And a lyin liger
The lion liked her
But her pride dispised her
The panther preys for her hungers sake
And the vultures try for the tigers take
But as fate would have it
As is her habit
The earth reaches right back around to grab it
But no before death can stab it
From dirt to flesh that we carry on our skeletons
To carrion to dust and back

I dream of the day when
even arsonists and architects can be friends
when anarchists and arbitrists reconcile their differences

I bide my time
Living a lie
Till I can find
A safe place outside my mind
But its all empty words
And lines blurred
By my unsuccessful incurring
Of my lifes worth
Into anothers heart
Hoping for a new start
But the burden
Of past lovers blundered
The lighting and thunder
And mustered the spark that remained
That remains unkindled to this day

Life is a beautiful symphony
Filled with broken dreams and serendipity
All written out on sheet music that we can not see
Yet we enjoy the show none the less
It is a masterpiece

So we assume the identities of vagabonds
Never giving a care to what road we're on
Never giving ear to those wondering where we've gone
The road is home to those who never had one
The road is a lover to those who have none

Static
Tactile
Stale as atic air
Vile and perceptible
Blatant table fare
Unassuming velvet hair
Unacceptable
Guilded mouthed
Perpetual
Individuals
Lying tongues
Glued to a screen
Spread hopes and dreams
That never come to be

reluctant reunion
in a dream or in delusion
an apprehensive distance
closed by the mutually held passion
for the others existence
terrified by reason of the pain
and she just the same
the nearer she paced
the clearer I saw her scars
by the way she looked into my face
they may as well have been erased
tracing her steps to mine
leading up in my mind to the embrace
quiet and still
retracing the feelings not felt in some time
no spoken words
just intermittent sobs
for lost I miss yous
and apologies
tongue tied
but they were the best kind we could muster
realizing  we didn't have much time
that's the closest we've ever gotten since you died
the closest we can or ever will
I understand this as I awake
into the same state I've been in for days now
to see a dove in my window take off and fly away

You flew on the wings of eagles
with the dream to be oppressed by no king
But to be your own people
To let freedom ring
From all the church steeples
You took the hand of lady liberty
She showed you the high road
But a treacherous one indeed
Though the haze of battle
And the lead hail of war
you sang your ballad
Give me liberty or give me death
While many men gave their dying breath
And saw the latter
But in the final battle
You climbed the ladder to liberty
And those who mocked the calligraphy
Of your declaration in the early years
Fell on their knees
As they listened to you sing
Let freedom ring

I looked into the mirror
But couldnt see my humanity
I tried to see clearer
But but was blinded by disparity

She writes
Despite her fright
Tonight the sun and stars collide
In the dying light
She writes
To a planet that writhes
To the Earth who cries
To a world left behind
*I'll see you on the other side

Discontent with reality
He paints a picture of mortality
The underlying cause of his dysfunctionality
Discontent with this dysfunctionality
He paints a two sided face
One side for the freinds
One for the rest of the human race

Time flies
Fading like the bug bites of summertime
To the chapped lips
Of the most bitter winter

lovers meet in the suicide sheets
in beds of liars
lying through their teeth

They say that life begins at deaths front door
Well I was a poor man, a beggar
pounding on that door with all the strength I had left in store
Knock! Knock! Knock!
but when my calls went unanswered
and my pleas unappeased
I was very un happy, I was very displeased
I said I have nothing left to offer, Id rather be dead
the line we walk is a tiny thread
weaving through others paths
and through our own head
at the time we may not understand it
we may not want it
but we must accept it

I awoke the next day
to the stroke of a cool breeze on my face
yet still held disdain
I wanted to end the pain
and the only way I knew how
was to end it all

I realized
thinking upon my laments
I was wrong

I realized
that ending my life would only cause more pain
that the delusions about how my death
was somehow for the best
were just a test
a test to see if I could reignite the fire inside my chest

I realized
that sometimes this life doesn't make any sense
it has its ups and downs
twists and turns
freezes and burns
that in the dark of the valley we don't realize the sun is shining
on the other side of the mountain lining

I realized
that there are people who love me
there are people who care
that if I would just dare to reciprocate,
it would make it so much easier to bare
the trying times that from time to time seem to stare
you down as you try to find your place in this life

I realized
that being genuine, and showing real love
to others, is really the best
way to love yourself
and that feeling you get in return
Is so much better than any
narcissistic pleasure you've ever felt

I realized
I had found my inner peace
and for the first time in my memory
I could finally say I was happy

I woke up asleep
From my dream within a dream
And my dream it seemed
Was bursting at the seams
With scenes of obscenity

I have made a mistake
I have left oceans of broken hearts and tears in my wake
Sharks take what they may
And the tide confides in me that I have made a grave mistake