She always cold, so I have to stand so close
Trying to warm her with my breath
She rests her head on my chest, and clears her throat
Saying something like I don't love her enough
Some people she knows say I don't hug her enough
That I'm rough
You know I'd never lay a hand
But my words are sharp
They may not leave marks
But they make her see stars
So I want to raise the bar
Trying to come up with something from the heart
But I don't know where to start
Let me try my hand at this poetry ****
Playing with words maybe it'll go like this:

The way you step
Weaves tapestries of brighter days
Smoothing life's wrinkles on my mind with soft hands
Leaving sugar feathers on my tongue

...But that doesn't sound right, dies it?
I know it's kinda cheesy
She deserves better, believe me
It's what I'm trying to be
Trying to articulate feelings
While staring at ceilings, I'm reeling
Thinking if smiles and tears
Trying to stem the bleeding
Life leaving me flowing to the supreme being of us
I'm starting to become more than enough
Let me take another stab at this poetry ****
Playing with word maybe it'll go like this:

Her life stains my brain
Like red red wine
On a white wedding dress
Under an orange moon
On a purple November night
I can see her face in my breath mist
And that's why I love the cold

What about that one?
Not half bad, "B-" at best
But to be honest, Brian, that **** doesn't impress
Anybody but you
I tried walking in other shoes
But vans fit too good
Hell, what else can I do?
I've got songs for the people
but this one's for me and you

You see through me

Sordid ways
Manifest in exquisite shades of gray
Hiding from the sun In the shade only to complaining
about how dark it is
Mark this in your notebook, quick quote
Like going for broke is nothing compared to running for smoke
Hoping I choke on the next pill
Please stick in my throat
Riding the broken ferris wheel
Of blood, sweat and choked tears
I stud the walls with stars
and crush bars on mars
And break fists with locked cars and bottles of tar
And there you are under me
I bear teeth and tear sheets
And leave a trail of beats broken and ****** in the streets
I'm tasting tarmac under the weight of a thick black boot
Steel toes hold my nose to the road and I let go
And when my arms released I fell through the concrete
Floating weights in the breeze, at ease
To where she pleased
Indivisibly re-made, but the road isnt re-paved
Potholes crack my bones
****** stones mark the way
I was born into this
A writhing pile of spit and ****
Mixed with molten steel and brimstone and lithium lips
Living in Zildjian hits and Fender amplified Soundwaves
My breath wastes in songbreaks
My voice creates earthquakes
I make myself what i want be
ovecome whats in front of me
Cause theres something inside
that wants to fly so i let it ride
At first sight or at first light
whichever brings life
Because I feel like walking through some fire tonight

sweet yesterday, where did you go?
its been long since i've seen you even more since we spoke
and i've been meaning to tell you the camels back broke
and i've lost sight of things since i last time i wrote
and i know that you hate these notes i'm just trying to cope
somehow it helps to know i let you know
that i'm doing alright without you, once again
i no longer live in sin on the outside looking in
i'm the kid on the frontlines wearing skin too thin
and the levis are ripped, i got ****** scabs to match
i've been moving so fast that my mom can't patch
this hole in my heart i tried to fill with a spark
but i lost my grip and it left its mark
i don't know how many times ive had to curse this *****
somebody tell me, why's it always gotta be like this?
i remember when it was fine and we were just running
but now she's starting to take friends away from me
i've been thinking of the best way to say that we miss you
i wanna put my fist through glass cause it hurts too bad
to think about all of the things that you should've had
so i'll sit back, got some pictures out of storage
ill crack and orange for you, its sad but it's true
that you passed on throught without saying goodbye
but its alright we just want to apologize
sorry you had to go through it all alone
a guy like you deserves to be at home
with friends by your side and smiles in your eyes
not cold in the grass by yourself late at night
you never know when that drink will come and take your loved ones life
but just keep telling yourself you'll be alright
suicide by installments a day at a time
tip your glasses to the sky and hope tomorrow brings new light to life
while we scream
look Johnny B, you're finally free
go run your heart out, boy
know that we will be chasing
orange soda tasting, hawiian shirt raising, facing our fears
for you

Sometimes I feel like ******* drowning
leaving the surface and floating 'round
to release words that mix up
with waters weighing us down to the ground
air pockets rise, filled with sound
and get drowned out by the useless crap
that we surround ourselves with
I will be no more proud
but I will not stop getting loud
or fade in the crowd
I will never relax or quit chasing the clout
until this last note bellows out
I will fight to the death
of me or them whichever comes next
I will not rest
until my last cold breath leaks out
heard there's plenty of time to sleep when you're dead
so I live like there's not enough hours left
press on strong
I'm the artist of a brand new dawn
crossed every single line that's ever been drawn
now all alone, I see that I'm wrong
but i just keep making these songs until I'm gone

sanitized minds combine to climb the brighter side
reaching towards the light with fistfuls of fire and might
we are sight blind, so our ears hear the path
cutting through the struggle and strife under the cover of night
it's bad math when they add up all the love that they subtract
with their crack and guns and wars and crooked politicians
endorsed by equally corrupt private corporations
that sensation that your facing is frustration at the nation
freedom seized by the land of the thieves, home of the slaves
She makes us cry nights away
but we love Her to the end of days
rocking the brave face in day
can America come out and play?
no way I'm sorry, not today
She's meeting the Devil at 8 to negotiate a trade
She lusts for black gold and he likes the way her soul tastes
it's the kind of heaven made match only greed can create
I love this god-forsaken place
keep our god the **** out of our state
we've got separation here, best not forget mister saint
our tap water's tainted and the plastic bottles cause cancer
tree's are illegal, so synthetic ******'s the answer
to numb the pain when my fat pig heart ruptures and bursts
but gimme one more triple espresso and three more bratwurst
two more cheeseburgers, a whole chicken, pizza and roast pork
mashed potatoes and mac n cheese but before I get my fork
make sure everything's deep fried, covered in bacon that's cut thick
I was hoping to choke it down before the last vein rips
flatline by design, dead before 45
thank your leaders they planned it
soon it'll be your time to die, I'm not lying
it's just facts go ahead and look at the stats
your the first generation to not outlive the last
and it's sad but more pathetic cause you don't even want to change
so strange how these animals play these silly little games
with dangerous toys powered by hot lead and flames
Aim for the brain! they shout at boy scouts
who tout many kills their dark skills willed by even darker minds in the hills
the shrill cries heard as the innocence dies flying straight out the hi-fi
nice try but you need a hand
tonight on American Bandstand the shattered youth of an illusory nation
think about these statements, the word choice and the placement
its all hidden in the basement
everything from last to first just be glad you're in the best nation on planet Earth
now please, into the hearse
No no don't curse, you're not the first
Just think it could be worse

****, I think the shrooms are starting to take effect
But there's something about the crowd that's getting me upset
There's not enough noise and actually I'm getting a little ******
Me and the Mic start fights with the Bass and Kicks
That's right, this the track you ******* asked for
The grooves from the guys your girlfriend's showin they *** for
The fastest cats laughin while were passin on your action
and crashing your favorite pad to smoke on you favorite stash
and you're mad
but I'm in another galaxy entirely, whole
and I'm watching the smoke trail off the bowl
Reminds me of how my soul leaks out the holes in my body
Given to me as a gift from this kid we call Scottie
Cause his breakbeats so sharp
Piercing through me like darts
and the Tree's basslines change the timing of my heart
Now my spirit's escaping, it's all over the stage
I'm trying to remember the next rhyme on the page
But I'll keep spittin cause my soul grows when I'm rockin a Mic
The bit I lose is made up for when the timing is right
You can see it in the lights, collecting up high
Pooling like mercury, growing with the passing of time
I've got friends with Black Ties, Purple Hearts, and Green Thumbs
Yellow Eyes, and Blue Souls sipping premium Red ***
They burn frosty trees chilling to some cool *** beats
Well what can I say, my soul's blue too some weeks
But that's why we make the music
For scrubbing the spirit, can you hear it?
That's great, but I need you to feel this
Cause this is real **** at last
We clash with popular demand
To make a stand on our hands
And that was always the plan

So if you're at a show
And you see a cloud above the crowd
Remember to breathe deep
Cause it's probably blunt smoke

its been four score and more
since the last time i played the cool kid
still on stage i trade the act for a mic
and they called me stupid
this is true ****
can you smell it
im speaking but wont spell it
im hungry this life's a sausage
im eating pass me the relish
elevated like jesus on
the cross you need to feel this
never soft or sweet
i'm like rock salt to teeth
chipping off pieces the size of boulders
catching them on my shoulders
i've got attitude problems, man
i thought they told ya
rebel souljah?
nah i'm the kid in the back of the class
assed out
passed out
the one your girlfriend just asked out
but i just laughed dont worry
homie, i won't touch it
the girls i'm looking for
have something called substance
****, she must have been
someone you trusted
from the look on your face
i can see your searching for an escape
but this ain't the place
unless youre looking for
the eternal sleep inflicted lyrically
i've got the word shaped sheep
to make it deep
if you dont know
i've been dreaming of this
rappin **** for years
eating your tears
drinking your fears
relieving myself in your ears
Brother Ali's been telling me the truth is here
now i feel it in the drum's spirit
with the bass to make it clear
I know that you feel this
cause we come with the realness
we're bleeding the crowd dry
sky high, we're fearless
really we're peerless
cause you're not on our level
we're anywhere from 6-10
steps ahead of you and the devil
you're like the treble, i'm the bass
on ten you're on negative eight
if you look there's no way
to find hate in this place today
im thinking rappers today are too hast
im thinking the stage lights are making me look pasty
despite that we're serving up tracks to call tasty
lace these beats with Rock Co.Kane Flow all day
It's not grace but we play in amazing ways
JUST-STAY-TUNED

The way I keep flowing in slow motion
got em hoping what I'm floatin
is a certain kind of motion
of the perpetual style
They say its dope but its not
its just something i use to cope
i think this sugar pill's been coated
in something i ain't had in a while
now my eyes are gettin hazy
i'm startin to feel a bit faded
these lights are bright and people are screamin
i've got a feeling
that they're wanting something from me
something to call stunning
something to call touching
but even if these words that i'm spitting
are really ugly
these two shining behind me make it lovely
then the room falls hushed
its like someone dimmed the lights
suddenly, i'm alone on the stage
me and the mic
trying to convey what i write
into speech tonight there's a
slight chill in the air
but the moon shines bright
it gives me power
helps me make sure that i rock right
excuse me, step correct
we clean up the mess and
wasted sets from the
players who came before us
that we left for dead
its like the wild wild west
though were on the east coast
you're rockin with host with the most
you didn't know?
i've got itch in my throat
but the fans won't even know
how could they?
listen to them, man
they think its dope
I know you're all waiting
to keep hearing me gloat
but gimme a sec, wont you just
let me clear my throat
(DJ KOOL n OUT)

(A capella)
The room's gettin kinda crowded
I think they heard our sound check
I can seem them craning their necks to see who's next
they want a set that wrecks
were happy to provide, come on
step inside the light we'll take you for a ride
and we're smiling like we're on trial for our lives
it's a good day to die
but tonight we feel alive

(FUNKY ****)

and it's wild how they've got us chasing fires
through the night
in the absence of light
with music, we search for sight
they're reaching for the supreme dream
the currency, the cream
but we resisted the feeling
and we rage against machines
and we blow off ceilings
"Lil c" and the Tree and me, we three
teach with beats and melodies
and bass lines we shine our light
for those who are blinded
and we raise our voices
for those who stay silent
dying to live so
to live we're dying
but to be honest
most of these faces are two-sided
it's the pride inside that won't let me hide my shine
trying to find a sound in this town i can call mine
but i'm feeling fine, waiting for my time
just walking the line in the sunshine
chasing a feline, this a summertime rhyme
but i'm ducking rainy days
like Cassius Clay
Stinging like Ali, laying waste in this place today
fade away?
heck, we haven't begun to blaze today
but maybe today's the day to light up the stage
let me see, Tree can these people hear you slay

(FUNKY BASS ****)

but just remember, there'll always be Haters in every pack
they'd stab you in the back
soon as they'd help you off the tracks
whatever helps them stack faster, or
puts their name on the plaque (map)
but we'll be rockin
til this all fades into black
with bass...(FUNKY BASS ****), and drums...(FUNKY DRUM ****)
and a kid on a mic
(ALL THREE)
we designed this curtain call
for ya'll, we hope you like it
(JUST ME)
now listen to this beat hit just right
to-nite

(CRAZY FUNKY ****)

Fighting for Freedom
Not my freedom
mine is not the
ludicrous "Freedom" you all worship
Not the steroid enhanced
the technologically advanced
the impressively entrancing
Spiteful, Ignorant
all-knowing, all-hating "Freedom"
that empowers you all to fear
anything different. The "Freedom"
that entitles you all to
subdue or eliminate everything
"not you",
Rather,
Anyone seen as a threat to
the mind-numbing culture
created by your "Freedom"

What Freedom?

I can see pink
lights dance on peaks
I can smell from miles away
In the cold shadow
of our mountain
Waiting for the day to start

The quiet surrounds
Body and Soul
except for the whistling trees
the bending and finally breaking brush
the sliding rocks:
The Earth plays
tricks on your feet

Boys throw rocks
because the silence frightens
but I sit still
listening to the sun
and watching the shadow grow shorter

Feeling our mountain grow taller.

A new page
A new line
A new rhyme
to quiet the rage

Subdue the disbelief
with federal rations
lose all Passion
forget relief

This is the new life
we are trained to live
bred to submit
to the all-knowing device

From the table in the corner
if the light is right
and the pen will right
then the hands might fight
with righteous might
while our fires light the night
but it's only a second of spite
Then it's over.

You timid hunters,
Wander lost,
Won't
ever
hunt like me.
Armed with paper bow
and lead arrow, stalking
the silent
beast of eloquence

Nocturnal,
she prefers dismal
moonless nights
rain
to wash away
the clouds in the eyes.
She is fickle. More
clever than me, more
clever than you.

But I know her
well
and she knows me

through the night I venture
having slept away
terrors of day,
I see a spot of moon fall
bathing in
soft milky white
the one
true,
the majestic

With steady hand
I drive
my point
through Her heart

Make Her Mine
Trap Her soul
on white pages
in black ink

In my yard
all alone, I'll read the page
once,
just once, smoking
a stick
and set fire
to it,
having saved her from
traps and snares of
lesser poets...
Having saved her from
corrupting eyes of
lesser humans...

I finish the stick
imagine myself
smoke in the night

The wind runs fast
through the young winter night
Between the many houses
Down the many streets

And I watch
as the family I don't belong to
dresses a fake pine tree
with bright lights and shiny memories

I hear ice cube bouncing
in white Russian glasses
They throw sharp words and
laugh maniacllly at the lacerations they leave
The words get sharper
The ice gets louder
As the tree gets heavier

The old dog lies on the rug
seeming oblivious to it all
He is blind and deaf
And
Still
almost corpse-like except for the haggard breath
the haggard breath
the rising and falling
of the small weak chest
and the clicking of ice cubes on a
windy winter night.

He is living the good life.

I know winter has
arrived.
The nights
are now
frigid silent
As if the very
Chill
compressed soundwaves.

As if the very
cold that crept through to
my marrow,
unimpeaded
by however many layers I was wearing
(it was two),
laughing and biting my nose,
burning my
throat and lungs with
each breath,
could actually
block out the noise!

As if the very
ice in the air had
magnified the moonlight
wiped away the
fog and smog
pollution and dust.
Cold Air Filtration.

...And that's why, with
weather cold enough,
from high enough,
looking hard enough
mortals may see the light
but
will probably
Blink.

See, You and Me
We
exsisted on the same plane
but in two different worlds
something like a million miles apart

And I spent
lighyears
trying to bridge the gap
but when I'd laid my last brick
and couldn't even lift my arms,
there was no one to meet me at
the halfway point.

And maybe hindsight is 20/20
but I know my eyes
were good enough the first time around
I caught everything. but
in an attempt to keep the peace,
to keep the wheels greased,
I drop ball after ball.
Until the floor was
so littered with marbles
I couldn't help but fall.

The crash awoke demons
even I hadn't met
yet
Now they spend their days
lazily tugging at my thoughts
And their nights chasing sleep away

So when I say I'm tired
it goes well beyond
anything
your god could
ever
imagine.
Because I carry 3 crosses
on each shoulder,
and I've wandered this desert a lot longer than
Mr. Heston

But you couldn't see any of that.
So I grabbed a torch and
made my way to the end
of my architecture,
only to remember:
There isn' even
a bridge to burn!

So I ate the flame
and extinguished my inner light.
Now I only shine at night
reflecting the moon
flowing like the tide.

...and when I looked inside myself
searching for a reason to live,
I met a tall child.

...and when I asked
his name?
He responded in rhythmic patterns
I had never heard
With elocution that left me standing
shocked and breathless
in the vacuum his
vocal inflections
had created.

...and he told me:
"All we know
we learned from Jun Fan,
like a finger pointing
a way to the moon. But
the stiff palm no longer
falls upon us,
we have learned
the methods of aversion
but what else have we learned?"

...and in the instance
of hesitation
the eternity in
the second I spent
searching for the words,
He vanished.

I shouted into the light
after him:
We have learned
to fall in love.
We have learned
to open our steel breastplate
and entrust our fragility
to another. and
We have been cut to bits for it
So
We have learned to heal
to gather
the pieces of ourselves
thrown to the floor by
those we cared for most
sewn together with twine
staind by the
red of our essence

A mark for all to see,
I Am
Scarred but not broken
Standing until the end

She is Divine
The kind of Divine
That inspires rhyme
While
Thoughts of her massage my mind
She is mine?
How?
She is Divine

It's nights like these
that make me wish my hands were bigger.
These life-lines aren't long enough
to recite all these lines of life
that'll be running through my mind
even after time stops.
There aren't enough trees to cut down
for all the pages I need to pen these
soliloquies and sonnets.
No, I didn't ride in
on Haley's Comet
but the plan is to still go out in a blaze of glory.
And why do my friends
seem to only hear "Blaze" in that?
Hallucinogenics and Narcotics
Psychedelics and Hydroponics
These are our four fathers.
Oh but by all means
"Try the tonic"
Watch the ***** infect your seeds'
Pipe dreams!!
And so they gleam
sipping moonshine
And whisper shadows of yesterday
Onto memories of tomorrow
While you try and find the rhyme.

Shout at the glass doors!
Shatter them in their perfect frames
Grind bones to dust with your voice

Gather the sand in ziploc bags
Proposition the black hole souls of school children
Who smoke tailpipes in the night

Shine the light for those who are blinded

Minds melted by magnified microwaves
Bodies controlled by the corporate implants
Little colored pills whisper commanding sweet nothings in ears

Hearts hang heavy with deep-fried dreams
Lungs crack, blackened with street tar rolled in tire rubber
Muscles wither in front of the mind-numbing Tel-Lie-Vision

Eyes milky, cloudy, blinded by federally funded sludge
Distributed, rained onto the people; the end all, cure all
Shrouding sight so the frightful seems pleasant

So I write visions on pages they'll never read
Burn them alive
and send smoke signals they'll never see
but will always be able to smell