me and terrible thoughts
fight like cats and dogs
flies and frogs
trees and chainsaws
I want to cut my left hand off
my positives may out weigh my negatives
but that comes at a high cost
pressure
when you hate attention
and would do anything to "get lost"
fade into the wind
disappear into the dark
I am a sparkler that will not spark
these are the scary hours
and I have become accustomed
to the hole growing in my heart
staring at the window
I wonder
when will my tombstone
litter the graveyard?

you can buy my love
I am selling it for a song
make it one I know
I want to sing along
is it strange
that my brain
wants to make love
to another brain
or my soul with another soul
on the astral plane
I feel as if I am the only one
who thinks this way
I have searched for a partner
but only found memories
I have searched for a high
that led myself to the floor beneath me
I am constantly reaching
for something, anything
and now I am believing
that I just want someone to want me
for the man I have grown to be

take all hope with you
for I am the door
and you are the lock
we will wash up near the rocks
but now
we are where the horizon ends
and the sky begins
we remind ourselves
that we get sea sick

mighty giants moving slow
we are but two souls
constructed careless and bold
like a students mural on a middle school
I let go without saying
goodbye to you

(I imagine)
I am a moth circling around
the same beautiful flower
that a hungry lemur found
I land on the petals
entranced by the sweet smell of the nectar
and the comfort of the weather
I hear the snap of a twig
and every time I have heard that sound
I cease to exist
then a cloud appears and I begin again
my heart is in the right place
but I am not sure where that is

from my childhood
I recall seeing a cocoon
and that strange memory
makes me think of you
I can not explain the feeling of
watching something about to bloom
all the while hoping it will fly home to sooth
a paranoia that my life has seemed to have proved true
I try with all my strength to hold it
but through my fingers it always seems to slip through

I will just turn away and head on back home
I am tired and that road is just too long
to walk with these poorly healed broken bones
I seem to be better at being alone
but I seen that rainbow
I swear I did
appear in front of us
but we did not know
that we will always be kids
and it is just a myth to be grown

she kept a three leaf clover on the dash of her car
when I asked her for the reason
she just smiled and said
"they are everywhere and I like that
because four leaf clovers are scary.
what happens if you find one, then lose it.
that terrifies me"
I did not realize then
that she was telling me something
I should have just walked away
but it seems
that I might be just as crazy
and in a shady spot on King street
she was who I wanted her to be
while she thought I was who she wanted me to be
it can be quite funny
what the late night can bring
stray cats roaming the streets
searching for warmth and a bite to eat
and a beautiful girl sleeping next to me

I knew a girl who had footprints
on the rug in front of her mirror
and when she stood there
she would break things
there was glass
everywhere
all of the time
I watched her climb to the roof
with her wings out
screaming at the world
who pushed her around
and made this place hell
she went to fly
but fell
as I lay beside her
I question myself
while trying not to get sick
from the smell

cheap wine
cheap cigarettes
in a room with a cloud
floating over me
pressure holds me in place

I'm alone and have been for months
but I'm not lonely and it bothers me
that I've adapted to a solitary this state
then again, I pride myself on my interdependence

I laugh out loud
no wonder I need cheap wine and cigarettes
I lose my mind every time I open my mouth
I feel more alive the closer I am to death

she walked up to my table
sat down across from me
and calmly asked
why I had a skeleton
hanging behind me
I had not a word to say
I did not see a skeleton
when I turned around to look
she some how snatched my wallet
and ran away
I chased her out of the door
and to the street
after a few blocks
she stopped and handed me
my debit card, identification, and money
she took off again
I followed the direction
of my hair as it lifted with her wind
she is not very fast
neither am I
there is no wonder why
this look another four blocks
until she stopped
gasping for air
I had paced myself
I ran up to tackled her there
snatching my wallet
I asked
"why did you give me back my money
and keep my wallet?"
an obviously embarrassed, defeated
awfully attractive girl replied
" I have no idea, I was hoping to get away
  to see if you will try to find me
  most men would have walked away
  once they have what they want
  why did you continue the chase?"
maybe I have nothing better to do
maybe it is the symmetry of your face
maybe it is the aesthetically pleasing shape of your frame
or maybe it could be the fact
you had the nerve to come up to me today
I do not know
I helped her up from the concrete
we said nothing
then walked away
attached to two sunbeams
searching for what we have always
seen in our dreams
she looked up at me
I thought to asked about the skeleton
and she spewed beauty from her lips
"I seen your skeleton before, who you will be when you die
and I have seen my skeleton as well
they have always been entwined
and this vision was proven to be true
the moment I seen it in your eyes"

I'm swimming in fear
down a river of loneliness
love lead me here

the undertow is grabbing at my feet
and the sun paints my face
a redness spreads over my skin

I shouldn't be worried
nor scared
after all
I am approaching the waterfall

this has become a habit
lost in the wilderness, forgotten
happiness is the tree branch I can't grab
as I go over the edge back to the bottom
I do not fear
love is everything and
love lead me here

She spat blood from swallowing rust
and I drank it up from a paper cup
then poured in some of mine from a paper cut
no matter how much we drank it was never enough
I broke a mirror and walked through a wall
she followed the trail of blood and licked it all
wrapped me in newspapers, then turned on the skill saw
ran the blade across her fingers, drained the blood down my throat through my broken jaw
I drift out on a paddle boat into the abyss of my mind
as I see her across the water on a cliff near the power lines
holding a vacuum cleaner and a coyote spine
the fog sits on the lake during this seperation between life and time
I watch from space as she closes my eyes
almost drained, she lays beside me to die
with our hands entwined
confined in a room during this seperation between life and time

barefoot
in the grass
as the bees
do not even
bother me
dodging my legs
passing by
like a friend
passing by
a friend
I walk under
some trees
that I am not
familiar with the species
but they are pretty
I pass by my neighbors yard
and greet him
with a hand wave
then step down the bank
into an abandoned field
wild flowers
as far as the eye can see
well, at least to the tree line
where the sun sat above
showing me what it does
there are insects
little working machines
majestic beings
oblivious to my existence
maybe that is why
this is so comforting
I can observe
without being disturbed
I reflect on where I am
watching the golden glow
on the field
begin to fade
into the night
I have the potential to fly
or climb
like the bugs
but my mind
keeps me grounded
every time
coming to terms
with the fact
that I am a part of mother earth
and my purpose
may have not
yet
been
learned

the chemicals that make up my body
are separating
and finding new homes
new souls
I fold a piece of paper in the shape of a swan
and swat at the flies
as I rise
and become one
with everything, everyone
there are puddles of people everywhere
I sat my swan on one
and the wind carried it away
puddle to puddle
person to person
I do not know anymore
I make things
and then give them away
watching as they circulate
just to end up in a closet
some are lost and forgotten
the paint is faded
and dry rotted
I begin to hate a talent
that I was born with
that I inherited
expectations will break a man
and rejection will make a man go mad
I am sad
everyone gets sad sometimes
and this is just one of those times
I am not rejected
but overly loved
and that makes me sad
people die everyday
and I am worried about who I am?
as I lay in my bed
under my sheets with air conditioning
a pantry full of food and two cats
all the while children starve to death
and I have the nerve to be sad
maybe I am just disappointed with myself
and that is why
I am only concerned with everything else

I felt it again today
the wind of you breathing
from the other side of town
the breeze elegantly lifted my hair
and gravity softly pulled it down

I stood with my arms forming a circle
with a candle between my hands
staring up at the moon
using it as a microphone
to speak to you

the stars lit up in patterns
that synced with your voice
a sight to be seen
a feeling to be enjoyed

I want nothing more
than to run my face
across the beautiful skin
on your ribcage
I want to hear your heart beat
because I know it beats along with my breathing
and when the night ends
we'll re-charge each others energy while we're sleeping

It's incredible
how you can make me as tall as a building
whenever you are near
I think to myself
there is a song here
it's incredible
how close to heaven I feel beside you
when the sky is clear
I think to myself
there is a song here
it's incredible
the further you drift from me
the worse I feel
I think to myself
there is a song here
it's incredible
how losing you was so easy
it was the only thing I feared
and I think to myself
there is a song here

I imagine beautifully full trees
housing families of birds who love to sing
and we will dance as their whistles ring
piercing our eardrums then laughing
at the slight sting
because at the same time our hearts skip a beat
we realize we are where we need to be
skipping stones across a steady stream
growling stomachs waiting
for the fruit this will bring
and the leaves that will give us air to breathe
I am laying in my bed staring at the ceiling
fit to be tied knowing you are asleep without me
I can only hope you are having the sweetest of dreams

I can hear my heartbeat
it is thumping
like a cat at the door
wanting attention
or maybe just wants
in from the rain
I do not know anymore...

there is an umbrella
at my front door
and one at my back door
one in the trunk of my car
and one in my closet
I had one extra
but I lost it

I enjoy the rain
especially at sundown
when the sky is champagne
I love the feeling of wet grass on my feet
and when the rain is over
all of my friends begin to sing

then there were times
when I would give anything
to see the sun shine
when my eyelids become pruned
from crying
and the constant cloud
over my head
pouring down
I would have sold my soul
to have had an umbrella
just lying around

my thought process
seems to confuse
everyone else
and it is beginning to confuse
myself
but I am not scared
I am prepared
the storms come
but they always scatter

I can barely open my front door
inches of snow occupy my front porch
the white is so bright
I have to wear sunglasses to see outside
even though it's the middle of the night
and the sun is not in the sky
this is a rare moment in time
when you can be blinded by the moon light
everything seems surreal and sharp
the dry snow flakes strikes my face like glass shards
as it penetrates my skin, I notice my heart
leaned up against the wall, happy but broken into parts
as loving as life can be, it can be just as harsh
and knowing this necessary balance gives me power
The dinosaurs disappeared around the time of the first flower
therefore, when beauty ends, beauty begins
the end doesn't exist, the universe continues to change  
and is always expanding outward

I died back in '85
but I was told my whole life
I was alive

the mattress I sleep on
is stained with my tears
multiplied with the years
of emotional trauma and fear
fear of dying alone

I pour my heart into different bowls
add some water and mix it with a brush
then sling it onto the blank walls
of the asylum
I built inside of myself
where I go to forget
that I have died before
and this is hell

the colors bent with the corners of the room
a different part of myself is in bloom
I'm redecorating my mind
as an abstract collage of everything I've learned so far
in my short amount of time

I entered back in '85
and it took twenty eight years to realize
that I have been dead this entire time

I am chasing fools gold
around a fools world
with foolish feet
guided by my foolish heart
fueled by the foolish breaths
that I breathe

some time ago
a few months
my brother brought over a gun
and I just sit and stare at it
like I am in love
I am not concerned about thieves
but I am concerned about being here
when I have no desire to be

I am in hell
left to imagine I am still alive
this is my punishment
I wasted my time
and now I use dark things
to find the light
there will always be a burden
that I will carry
for the rest of this infinite life
this is hell
and I have been here
since 1985

kissing at my neck
she burns holes
through my chest
with her fingertips
I should stop her
but...
I love the feeling
of endorphins being released
it is my worst addiction yet
she cracks a rib or three
and begins
to insert her hand into me
sliding the tip of her index finger
around the bulb of my heart
until it rested in her palm
I seen the devil in her eyes
it revealed itself to me
she had a dead face
she had turned off
all of the love
she had for me
then plucked out
the source of my energy
I watched as she became
smaller
and smaller
as I fade into the light
and enter the tunnel
I begin to see that this all
begins over again
creating a different approach
to a world you already know

I entered in as a child
back in '85
spent all of the time
to learn I have
been here a few times

I creep the city streets
in the shadows
watching the spot
where she sleeps
I have memorized her routine
when she arrives
when she leaves

I catch her at the lake
where we were first alone
face to face
it is ironic
that we thought we heard
a dead body splash the water
that night
we laughed
but now
it is not so funny
it just has to be done
chasing her down
I tackle her from behind
turning her over to see my eyes
as I rip open her shirt...
I take my knife
to slice open her skin
and push my hand in
grabbing what keeps her breathing
and not doing anything
but sewing her back up
and letting her keep on living
knowing that I had the
chance for revenge
but my love for her
kept me from going
through with it
chasing her is my sentence
and her watching me walk away
is her punishment

this is hell
and this is what goes on

I wonder what it is like to be alive
that slated memory has been wiped
from my pre-evolutionary cycle mind
I lust for the thought of warm blood
rushing through my veins just one more time
though I would explode from the heat
of the ever present blood red sky
doomed to live these eternal days
with blood shot eyes
and highway map shaped scars on my thighs
trying to feel any type of pain
because pain is the confirmation of life

I search the lairs high and low
for any faint sign of my wandering soul
I have climbed the smoldering trees
and I have soiled my clothes
with broken fingernails searching every hole
but where is one lost to go?

visions of everything wrong
the feeling of love lost
the face of a dead person gone
it is all here
and eternity is quite long
I sing 1985 a sad song

blades of grass cut at my heels
I love the way it feels
a mosquito ****** at my skin
I pinch my skin around its mouth
and watch as it explodes from within
I hold in my hand
the heart of a former man
a man I used to be
a man that will remain a casualty
I breathe underwater because I am afraid of drowning
I put myself around people because I do not like them around me
voices surround me, my fears have found me
and I hope they are prepared this time
I am old enough to create a shield with my mind
now I can do anything at anytime
I am scared of snakes, thrown one on me
I am scared of snakes
THROW ONE ON ME!!!

her eyes
my eyes
my hand on her thigh
her hand on mine
we were young
and time
was not on our side
our love was complicated
but wild
our feelings for each other
were anchored deep inside
I find
myself being that version of Brian
from time
to
time
I thought that part of me
had died
but the only time
that I lie
is when I lie to myself
and I do so
time
after
time

strange beings we are
in the front seat of my car
****** out of our tree
you kept touching me
running your fingers down my arm
my goose bumps looked like galaxies
I watched in slow motion as the cigar
let out a beautifully winding smoke stream
that stretched across the dash
like a blanket that moves
with the sound of our speaking

in between two buses
at a random school
in Davidson county
lost and impatient
you looked at me as if
you did not hate
your surroundings
for the first time
since you met me

with a full tank of gas
and it is the weekend
we drove around for hours
and laughed
we needed to see the product
of dying leaves
and I believe
on those nights
we found exactly what is was
that we were seeking

no ordinary double sided mirror
pondering thoughts
until those thoughts were clearer
in a range of out stretched arms
a velvety skin
cannot hold on
turns to smoke
it rises then disappears
a superstitious mind will whither in time
as intelligence grows like an invasive vine
up the back
around the spine
and into the mind
a tumbleweed of a distant thought
rolls on
I have laid so long
my ambition has turned to stone
never sleeping right
never sitting still
approaching everything
as if it were too good to be real

it's been months since I've been social
and loneliness to me is as rare
as a four leaf clover
I've grown accustomed to talk with myself
alcohol and interesting conversation
just like I was anyone else
I sit in the dim light of my desk lamp
thumbing through a photo album
with old pictures of my family
I found in the storage last month
I  flipped to a photo of my parents
my mom as beautiful as she could be
and my dad with a smile on his face, looking down at me
I turned the page to find a silhouette of them
two blobs of darkness
they were like two birds
that made a nest
I head to the kitchen for a drink
there are no words for how I feel
nor a reality for the things I think

I dropped three ice cubes in my glass
added three fingers of cognac
then I threw it back
poured another and leaned up
against the counter
and let out a deep breath
I know who I am
but I'm still figuring out how

there is a knock at my door
I'm not sure I want to answer it
could be anyone, anyone I don't want to see
or someone, someone I want to see, or family, so I open it
and she, with her hair and face
stood there, a partial smile
with a certain pain in her eye
she always knew when it was best
for her to show up, she had perfect timing

she sat down on the floor
as I fixed her a drink
she told me that life is magical
but there is white and black magic
and life isn't any different
she spoke of intense drinking
and constant, hollow loneliness
with the feeling of ambition
but she knew that something was missing
and at the time
the familiarity of it all
was too much for me
and I dropped her drink
the glass broke violently and sudden
the opaque cola took shape
as two blobs of darkness
on the floor
she laughed at me
and called me drunk
I called her weak
headed for my room as she followed me

we're in my room
sitting indian style on the floor
I ask her to roll another one
then lean back against my bed
I feel heavy as if the earth is pulling at me
or the sky has its mighty hand pushing on my head
right now in my life
I'm at a weird place, emotionally
and I'm not even sure she's here for me
but it's nice to have some company when you drink
someone to hear you talk about the things you think
I feel the spark of the lighter
the heat of the flame flew into my body
like a bird to a glass door
the smoke danced like waving arms
in patterns I've never seen before
I watched our shadows on the wall
two blobs of darkness with the background flashing
from the wind knocking into the flames on the candles
it felt like taking a picture and we looked like mountains
we sat for hours as we wasted the night away
our minds faded off into the blend of smoke and music
and our words mesh into the thick, foggy haze
we found the door of the next day then walked through it

the rain falls like brick walls
pounding against my skin
in the same way
you would strike a block of ice
with an ice pick

I need something strange to soothe me
almost willing to host some parasites to use me

stairs
I am usually
climbing them
or I am falling down them
a means to no end
I am addicted
to picking myself up
off of the grass or pavement
over and over again
you, her, and them
my memories
are a separate world that I live in

my unidentified flying heart
re-enters the atmosphere
and breaks apart
it becomes smaller
with each return flight back
from a distant star

we think we are humans
but we are not
we are only thoughts
and thoughts can rot
decay
and break apart
then reassemble themselves
into a better thought
to take its course again
maybe it will be buried
or maybe it will take flight with the wind

I let the flame of my lighter
dance around until the metal turned red
then I pushed it into my hand
and watched as the skin bubbled
I couldn't feel it
but I knew it felt wonderful
moving like a machine
I'm wearing holes in my carpet
sitting still, the thought alone is haunting
I have to feel alive
every moment that I'm alive
and I have to realize
that I could die
at anytime
all the time

I could be your pile of leaves
whenever I'm around you could jump right onto me
and if ever I'm too far out, you can just use your hands
and I'll come swimming back

you're so beautiful, and lips as sweet as honey dew
I can't help but to keep my eyes open when I kiss you

you look at my loneliness the same way you would an enemy
I feel like you make it a little easier to breathe
and If I'm being too forward
you can just use your hands, and push away from me

eight legs ran around on your carpet
I heard the squeal through the wires
I imagine that you had stomped it
by the loud thump and absent of volume
you don't so much say what you think
but say what you are and in a blink
of a cataract eye I see
you are the painting that life
has created for me
to gaze with wild wonder
and the colors that have been spread apart
come together beautifully
covering my painted over heart

a faintly faded paranoia
slips from my head and drips down my spine
I begin to feel lighter
and I have a better understanding of life
our lives are mere circles of time
blending and bouncing around
and yours seem to have connected with mine

I open my eyes
to the smell of burnt coffee
and the staleness
of a heart
that I gave as an offering
there are bottles lining the floor
like skyscrapers line city streets
as a woman tugs the sheets
off of me
then continues to sleep
I stare at the wall
thinking
that I am sinking
into it all
the sober regret
the drunken ***
the constant fall
eventually
my periods of loneliness
ends from a phone call
and a knock on the door
women are the vampires
I always invite in for more
addicted to the dried up feeling
I get from being shaken at my core
drained of all hope
like a whale gasping for air
after being washed ashore
tossed out by what keeps me alive
but I manage to wiggle and slide
back into the water just before
the fall of night

relaxed with a touch of glee
sitting indian style
in my passenger seat
you were tossing smiles at me

there is a mountain
I feel I am atop of
but I am too high
to see far enough down
to witness myself
on the highest of ground

I pretend
my car is a spaceship
and you go along with it
you are words
I have already written
passionate yet delicate
like kisses on the head of a kitten

when you breathe in your sleep
it sounds like whispers from a caterpillar
and the words are meaningful and sweet
I can not help but to believe
that you are an illusion to me

I feel as if I am myself
staring into the eyes of myself
and you are yourself
staring into the eyes of yourself
we are symmetry at its best

I am not who you think I am
I am just downloading satellites
Who I am, comes from somewhere else
I am a mere result of purpose and time
but I do understand why we look at lights in the sky and want to bask in the warmth of their shine.

Always remember if you hold a light bulb
Your hand obstructs what they are capable of

We could be children in a field dancing through the flowers
But we spend that time worrying about when the field gets plowed
Assuming that things won't stay the way they are
Our hearts are made of strings and we tear them apart
When we should be plucking those strings like a harp
We should be enjoying the music
rather than scared of its undoing

a voice says
"nothing survives the night"
I am alone in this room
watching the light from beneath the shades
become dimmer and dimmer
darkness will come soon
and they will be howling at the moon
I will do some howling too
as the wind sings the dead a somber tune
energy leaves me like colors stretching through the sky
dodging the grains of sand in the infinite blue
and once the blue turns to black
it should find you
feeding your soul
until it explodes and sends the energy back
we create a perpetual cycle of light
because the voice was right
nothing survives the night

I send knives to the sound of your voice
and they ricochet every time
bouncing back at me
but now they bounce off of my skin
with a parachute landing
hitting the floor
like a liquid
bleeding into the grain
and spreading
drying up
and disappearing

focused fumes
filling a dark room
I lit the fire to the blanket
covering you
and I watch the flames
as they are extinguished
by the rain
pouring from the cloud
hovering over you
I could not be alone tonight
and now I will never be alone
again in my life
holding in my hand
a broken robins egg
that I broke myself
in an attempt to save it
the road to sadness is littered
with the best of intentions
and the sky is painted with
the faces of the people we miss
and you are these things
you are what sadness brings

my heart is my front door
and she is the curious fly

I see her out of the corner of my eye
as she flies about
she explores me from top to bottom
and I don't mind having her around
she can stay as long as she wants
as long as she doesn't make a sound
it's nice having company in this house

I was alone for quite some time
took a vacation to find myself
I traveled through my mind
turning the ugly things into beautiful seashells
the salty air may dry my skin, but I love how it smells

I woke one morning
to the sound of buzzing
I grew to hate the sound
but now
it seems lovely and sweet
I let the vibration rock me back to sleep

sitting in a rocking chair
I watch as she soars past me
following her with my eyes
she flies in patterns I've never seen
making me dizzy
the head rush becomes addicting

she flew out through my open door
the same way she came in
swift, and curious
she viewed the outside
the way she viewed me
an adventure
nothing to be sure of

it's been months
I haven't seen her since
but I can still hear the buzzing
It gives me headaches
but I still leave my door open
even though I know she isn't coming

I opened my door and stepped out of the car
walked around then opened hers
entwining our fingers and stretching out our arms
with our feet together to make our shadow into a heart

this is when the motion sickness feeling
starts kicking in
but you ignore it

walking on a path under a covering of trees
almost like walking down an abandoned school hall
we were close to the lake and could feel it's breeze
then walked over to some children trying to catch a tree frog
I told them what I know about them, children are always friendly
I caught the frog for them, then grabbed her hand and we continued on

I could feel my potential expanding right in front of her
she looked me in the eyes, it was nothing I've seen before
the trees around us with their bright green leaves magnify the sun
like when I used to be in a dark room until she opened the door

I am in the corner of the room
nervous and lonely
where are you?
I search and I pray
If you came around me
would you stay?
The night is black
and the morning is blue
the sun is the light I use
to search for you.
My heart is the pond
that your river runs through
If I am here
where are you?
Oh there you are
sitting on the limb of the tree
that my heart grew

there is a couple of me
and a couple of everyone else
wandering through the streets
unknowingly searching for their other selves

the wrong one of me
found the right one of you
and I should apologize
for wasting your time

I made rain in a room
while the night brightened the moon
enhancing my reality with clouds
hoping my thoughts would take me to you

I believed that I deserved that gloom
it was alcohol and the blues
that fed the meaningless fuse
leading me to find the right one of me
that might still be searching for the right one of you

I remember the times when she'd say
"let's die together one day"
I would pay to have seen my face
at the moment before I turned to run away
it is funny to me how time can bring on change
now, I would love for a woman
to look at me with that type of faith
and it not feel foreign or fake

love can take on many shapes
it could be a window
it could be the shade
it could be the sweetest of sleep
it could be the thoughts that keep you awake

I have woke up next to angels
with wings glistening from the beam of light
that pokes itself in between the blinds
I could watch them breath for hours
making the air taste a little sweeter
I get the same feeling from flowers

I have woke up next to angels
and their halos were a gleaming beam of light
that trickled through my soul and spilled out of my eyes
I tried to enhance my psyche and succeeded
women inspire men to be great
and all of my negativity has depleted

I live with an altered state of mind
sometimes I believe that I believe in something
but there is nothing that I can honestly define
and I am beginning to wonder why I even try
wind chimes ding in my head
blending like a flock of birds being fed
I am bleeding internally in my legs
and the burning sensation is becoming addicting
afflicting pain on yourself is a symptom
of constant wishful thinking
not seeing the difference between
what is real and what is reality
what is true and what is a fallacy

on a couch
a thousand degrees
or so it seemed
terrified someone would walk in
on you and me
as your eyes were half open and baby blue
the sound of your voice filled the room
I felt as if my body had been constructed just for you
the faint whisper of your voice crawled across my skin
I could feel the spark of your heart in my finger tips
and I have been chasing that sensation ever since
as years pass, people change
and you have not even began to fade
I remember the look on your face
when you would say "I know you have to leave, but.... please stay"
it has haunted me for a decade  
and has become the wrinkles I can not erase

I am a tree and you are a bird that built a home on me
the seasons may change, you may leave
and even though the nest is empty
it still remains as a memory
to always keep me company
when I am lonely

I have an ax
and I am headed your way
they can chain the doors
and grease the floors
I am going to execute your escape
and we will be two shadows in the rain
skipping to my car and driving away
and all of the witnesses will claim
to have only seen what seemed to be
a lighters dancing flame
we have found a witch!
setting fire to Mary Jane
and laughing a bit
we imagine we are in a plane
the engine roars
and we will soar into a new day

people are beginning to gather
watching me climb the brick of this building
the breeze bounces against my face
I look up to the glowing sky
as I toss my anchored rope into your window
scaling the wall I begin to see sirens
but I am not scared, I jump into your room
I remove my black clothing and let my hair down
you take out those tubes and change into normal clothes
we walk out like we were just two people visiting you
treading the hallway slowly and careful how we move
trying not to let the paranoia gives us a *****
I do not want to get weird in here but I will if I have to
I swear on my little insect friends, blankets, and the moonlight
those cameras will capture us leaving here tonight
everything seems smooth as we walk through the door
then there are blue lights.....
but they were on the other side of the complex
we watch the reflection in the side mirrors
driving away as you use your fingernails to split the cigar
three cops drive by right as the lighter sparks
I take a left down a side street shaded and dark
the only light you can see is the fire from the blunt being passed
back and forth between two friends on the hood of a car