I stand in front of the mirror
remembering when I hated facing myself
foaming at the mouth, and pacing back and forth
an animal before realizing the fate of death
chasing the shiny and bright but getting burned by the light
only to find the comfort in imagining a mass extinction
and I am the only one that's left
but as the years pass, I reaped the seeds I have sewn
people I have loved are gone
I buried a friend before he could watch me grow
into the man he said I would be
a lovable soul who is inspired by the spark he gave to me
I would say it saved me
looking in the mirror now
I am looking at a person I am glad to be
nothing to be ashamed of, I am free

blades of grass cut at my heels
I love the way it feels
a mosquito ****** at my skin
I pinch my skin around its mouth
and watch as it explodes from within
I hold in my hand
the heart of a former man
a man I used to be
a man that will remain a casualty
I breathe underwater because I am afraid of drowning
I put myself around people because I do not like them around me
voices surround me, my fears have found me
and I hope they are prepared this time
I am old enough to create a shield with my mind
now I can do anything at anytime
I am scared of snakes, thrown one on me
I am scared of snakes
THROW ONE ON ME!!!

I drown myself in disappointment all of the time
and now that I'm drinking
I hope that irony makes a fool of me tonight
and tomorrow I will watch my loved ones cry
and see exactly who my friends are for the first time
as I rise into the sky, I too will cry
for never saying the things I should have
to the souls that I am leaving behind
and as I spreads my wings to fly
the feathers will wipe the tears from every ones eyes
while they slowly begin to realize
that even though I am gone
I will always be alive

on a couch
a thousand degrees
or so it seemed
terrified someone would walk in
on you and me
as your eyes were half open and baby blue
the sound of your voice filled the room
I felt as if my body had been constructed just for you
the faint whisper of your voice crawled across my skin
I could feel the spark of your heart in my finger tips
and I have been chasing that sensation ever since
as years pass, people change
and you have not even began to fade
I remember the look on your face
when you would say "I know you have to leave, but.... please stay"
it has haunted me for a decade  
and has become the wrinkles I can not erase

I am a tree and you are a bird that built a home on me
the seasons may change, you may leave
and even though the nest is empty
it still remains as a memory
to always keep me company
when I am lonely

I shouldn't even be here
the sky is void of stars
this is not my night
these are not my "people"
and she doesn't have that glow
she doesn't have a glow at all
I usually get headaches around her
with the light shining from her soul
there was a point
walking down the street
she locked arms with me
and it almost felt familiar, almost right
I have shown her places that were memories of mine
and now, I am just a drop of water on the fishing line
I am too rare of a breed for her common sense of taste
quite elusive and reclusive and I am only out late
she caught me hungry enough to be fooled by her bait
then skipped the wait, threw me back
and didn't even watch as I swam away
as if she knew I needed to be free
and couldn't take the thought of seeing me having to flee
well, maybe that is  just what I want myself to believe

every spec of salt in the sea
is equivalent to every spec of you in me
I hallucinate from the amount of you in my bloodstream

every spec in the night sky
is every memory I have of you and I
and the amount of visuals will forever distort my eyes
I'll see good in people
when I should see evil
and the movement of my heart
will be controlled by their fingers

....but I am not afraid, love is a two way street
there is more of me in you, than there is of you in me
you are just a random leaf on a tree in a forest of many
a lonely molecule in the air that I breathe
even a bird with a broken wing can still sing
a song as sweet as a bushel of strawberries
I wrap up my arm and put my heart in a sling
then remind myself of what means most to me
my ability to speak love fluently

I'm at a place where I can see more
than what is in front my face
but from this height I can see
everyone who walked away

no one understands me
brandy on the rocks, please

I'm in a chair that feels like it will break
and I keep leaning back with all of my weight
this is what I have become
putting faith in the craftsmanship of someone else
I might as well put my faith in god
because I'm sure as hell not putting faith in myself
I am human, I am burdened by an inevitable death
I might as well hedge all bets

no one understands me
brandy on the rocks, please