I've been waiting all week for a package to come, sitting at my window nothing short of stalking the delivery guy who works my neighborhood. I lie back on my couch and stare at the ceiling until I drift off. I wake to the sound of the door bell and there, in all it's glory, was the package. I open the box and pull out my very own, shiny, new grappling hook and launch pistol. I ran upstairs for my binoculars and an umbrella then dashed through my front door.

I made it downtown just before sunset, arriving at one of the tallest buildings in the city located across the street from a building of equal size, they're perfect. I headed to the top floor and snuck around until I found the roof access. Walking out, I take in the sights, watching the wave of sudden flickers from people turning on the lights and the darkness from people leaving for the night. I went over to the edge and launched the hook to the other building. Using the binoculars I locate you down on the street, then I begin walking across the rope with my umbrella trying to line us up.

I look down at you, admiring the amount of beauty you always radiate. I want to jump on you but I realize that if I do, you would die as well, I'm too dedicated to the preservation of all things that are beautiful to stop your journey. I continue on to the other building.

I climb down off of the ledge, feeling defeated when I seen a police officer staring right at me. I slowly walked towards the exit door, he repeatedly told me to stop while he unfastened the ******* his gun holster. He cut me off then grabbed my right shoulder and left arm, I kneed him and grabbed his gun, immediately shooting him in the head, it looked exactly like a spilled pan of cherry cobbler. At this point, the people on the streets were looking up.

I went to the edge and used the handcuffs like a necklace to attach me to the rope, I rolled myself over the ledge, the slack in the rope allowed me to slide down to the middle. The sky created a perfect backdrop behind me as the sun sat on the horizon throwing it's golden glow towards the stars, and at the very last second before my neck snapped I remembered, I won't even know that you know me.

I'd like my grave how I like my women, shallow
because I'm sure they'll be the death of me
I'll be the plot back in the shadows
under the limbs of a mossy poplar tree

my personality is changing seasons
and it's messing me up beyond all reason
behind every leaf is a new part of the limb
I can feel myself flushing itself again

how exactly do the cosmos align
to create this light bulb in my mind
from holding a candle under a piece of string
to learning what it means to be a human being

emotions seem to feed themselves
the soul of the wicked is a prison cell
the moments before you scream for help
are the moments in which you truly find yourself

She spat blood from swallowing rust
and I drank it up from a paper cup
then poured in some of mine from a paper cut
no matter how much we drank it was never enough
I broke a mirror and walked through a wall
she followed the trail of blood and licked it all
wrapped me in newspapers, then turned on the skill saw
ran the blade across her fingers, drained the blood down my throat through my broken jaw
I drift out on a paddle boat into the abyss of my mind
as I see her across the water on a cliff near the power lines
holding a vacuum cleaner and a coyote spine
the fog sits on the lake during this seperation between life and time
I watch from space as she closes my eyes
almost drained, she lays beside me to die
with our hands entwined
confined in a room during this seperation between life and time

I knew myself once
even shook my own hand
how we grew apart
I'll never understand
I've tried to sit and think
of how I would describe me
but nothing comes to mind
and I get a headache everytime I try
Sometimes
I treat myself
like someone else
a romantic partner
a person to fall in love with
but as the love comes
it goes...
and I'm left
lonely, feeling like I deserted me
and left myself for dead
I am a captive
inside my own head

Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think there's something they're trying to tell me
Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think they can hear the music I'm listening to-
and they're dancing along with me
I can smell natures breath
and I can see it floating on top of the grass
I can hear it in the hum of the insects
and can feel it as a bat flies past
Come with me into the night
we can lay in the grass
stare at the moon
and charge our hearts with light
become mesmerized by the sight
of constellations in the sky
I've layed in the grass so many times
that my skin no longer itches or stains
I've stared at the stars for so long
that my pupils continueally dilate

You are the beautiful field I'm walking through
I'm loving everything, especially this carolina sky, it's extremely blue
I didn't pick any flowers, I know you didn't want me to
so I took dozens of pictures and sent them to you
You are the sky that amazes me at night
I love the stars, and yours are bright
when I lay in the grass, you are my nightlight
now, you are the moon below the horizon line
in my mind but out of sight
When you're not here, and I know you're asleep
I wonder, is your body comfortable, are you having dreams?
does the shade over you window block out the streetlight beam?
and is everyone else quiet so you don't hear a peep?
I want you to sleep as sound as I do
knowing you are as fond of me as I am of you

I'm sitting inside of a paper lantern
staring at the candle, watching the wick dance
as I imagine myself holding the world like I'd hold myself
I put one in the air

I watch a mirror like I'd watch a tv
analyzing every aspect of me
being self conscience of what I see
I'm not so sure I'm who I want to be
so I put one in the air
and stare....

is this life real? are we just sprockets of a bigger machine?
is there a ruler that decides the fate of all living things?
no one knows....
and I don't think anything is true anymore
when we don't know, we don't learn
I've learned how not to care
everytime that I put one in the air
I'm on a pebble orbiting by the backside of pluto
further out than anything that you know
and it's cold out here, like mountain air
this is where I go when I put one in the air.