She spat blood from swallowing rust
and I drank it up from a paper cup
then poured in some of mine from a paper cut
no matter how much we drank it was never enough
I broke a mirror and walked through a wall
she followed the trail of blood and licked it all
wrapped me in newspapers, then turned on the skill saw
ran the blade across her fingers, drained the blood down my throat through my broken jaw
I drift out on a paddle boat into the abyss of my mind
as I see her across the water on a cliff near the power lines
holding a vacuum cleaner and a coyote spine
the fog sits on the lake during this seperation between life and time
I watch from space as she closes my eyes
almost drained, she lays beside me to die
with our hands entwined
confined in a room during this seperation between life and time

I knew myself once
even shook my own hand
how we grew apart
I'll never understand
I've tried to sit and think
of how I would describe me
but nothing comes to mind
and I get a headache everytime I try
Sometimes
I treat myself
like someone else
a romantic partner
a person to fall in love with
but as the love comes
it goes...
and I'm left
lonely, feeling like I deserted me
and left myself for dead
I am a captive
inside my own head

Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think there's something they're trying to tell me
Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think they can hear the music I'm listening to-
and they're dancing along with me
I can smell natures breath
and I can see it floating on top of the grass
I can hear it in the hum of the insects
and can feel it as a bat flies past
Come with me into the night
we can lay in the grass
stare at the moon
and charge our hearts with light
become mesmerized by the sight
of constellations in the sky
I've layed in the grass so many times
that my skin no longer itches or stains
I've stared at the stars for so long
that my pupils continueally dilate

You are the beautiful field I'm walking through
I'm loving everything, especially this carolina sky, it's extremely blue
I didn't pick any flowers, I know you didn't want me to
so I took dozens of pictures and sent them to you
You are the sky that amazes me at night
I love the stars, and yours are bright
when I lay in the grass, you are my nightlight
now, you are the moon below the horizon line
in my mind but out of sight
When you're not here, and I know you're asleep
I wonder, is your body comfortable, are you having dreams?
does the shade over you window block out the streetlight beam?
and is everyone else quiet so you don't hear a peep?
I want you to sleep as sound as I do
knowing you are as fond of me as I am of you

I'm sitting inside of a paper lantern
staring at the candle, watching the wick dance
as I imagine myself holding the world like I'd hold myself
I put one in the air

I watch a mirror like I'd watch a tv
analyzing every aspect of me
being self conscience of what I see
I'm not so sure I'm who I want to be
so I put one in the air
and stare....

is this life real? are we just sprockets of a bigger machine?
is there a ruler that decides the fate of all living things?
no one knows....
and I don't think anything is true anymore
when we don't know, we don't learn
I've learned how not to care
everytime that I put one in the air
I'm on a pebble orbiting by the backside of pluto
further out than anything that you know
and it's cold out here, like mountain air
this is where I go when I put one in the air.

My life is a gravel road
the further I travel the more rocks in my sole
but oh' the sights I've seen
countryside painted a warm gold by the sun
and the trees the size of giants in clusters of thousands
I've seen skies of many colors, some I can't name
I've felt the tingle of a cool breeze from the top of a mountain
I have danced in the shallow water of a creek bed
under the canopy of autumn trees with colors of a kaleidoscope
I've tasted the sweet nectar of a honeysuckle
and feasted on a blackberry bush at the edge of the wood
So eventhough my life is a gravel road
and I've had enough sour so the sweet never gets old
the thunder may come but it always goes
and even when the road ends, I'll never know

There's an entity behind my eyes
that folds my thoughts into airplanes
my ears are the terminals to the sky

There's mud on the runway
but they're begging to go outside
he moves the blocks, they take flight
the planes turn to envelopes
just harmless little notes
entering through someones eyes
and exiting through their throats
sprouting into fishing boats
floating on air with the current
reaching places only the birds go
my thoughts turn to weeping willows
covered in white insect pillows
that filter out negative tones
the tips of the limbs call the grassy ground home
and this is how we know
we best leave nature alone

my thoughts turn to snowflakes
that splatter on the window of an airplane
flying through the thunder that makes the boat shake
and when the clouds cry, the willow is made