I prayed for the sole of my new red boots
They're frayed, with strings hanging like ripped up roots

I bought them at a thrift store, God,
And the left sole's simply missin'
I prayed my very hardest
But God just didn't listen

I don't blame him, nor should you
After all, it's just a shoe

My eyes swell with tears,
How could this be?
My cheeks glisten
As the silver drops fall

Cold chalky eyes,
They look at me
They look thew my eyes
Into my soul

But why?
When did this red fill the room?
Who could have done this?
The one I love breaths no more.

My knees give out
And I fall to his side,
I touch his face
Leaving marks like war paint,

My hands,
When did they become so red?
And this knife,
How long has it been by my side?

you can crush me under your foot
silence me
squash me
crash into me with your car
make me grovel
make me kiss your feet
rip me apart
strip away everything i have
but you can not
*break me

I want to get over
the sound of your
voice on that hilltop-
smooth and quiet
and gliding into my
stomach like the best
ice cream I've ever
had. My heart has
had so much
          t
          r
          o
          u
          b
­          l
          e
finding a hiding
place outside of
your mouth.

Im not good enough.
Never have been, never will be.
Maybe she was right about me.
All those times I cried into my pillow at night.
I deserved it alright.
Why do I even fight.
Im not alright.
Never have been, never will be.
Maybe she was right.
I failed myself, and all of you.
I try I really do.
Would it be better for you if I wasn't here?
I wish for your sake that I could disappear.
You wouldn't have to see me.
You wouldn't have to speak to me.
You wouldn't have to tolerate me anymore.
Would you thank me?
Would you miss me?
No, you barley even noticed me...

this feeling
its the memory of pain
its loneliness
its shame
its the drive to cut
its the need to disappear
I hate it
it wont let me be happy

ugly, fat
Its shouted down the halls and written on the walls
How you treat me, its like im not even human
Not even breathing
I AM a human being
Recognize I AM breathing
I can feel it all, like when your dagger wedged itself into my back
Stupid, freak
Words painted on my mind, send self-hate crawling up my spine
Its evident your heart is back, by the way you never fail to soak my sleeves, in crimson red
Pray to god, let me wake up dead
There is a pounding in my head as I realize
I AM weak
I AM failing, falling into blackness, void all light
No ones here, not even the faintest whisper of you're alright
Just hang in tight
I can only be strong for so long
But you know that, huh?
You see how im breaking
I AM suffocating
I am NOT breathing
You can't find it in your heart to care, but you should
Because I WAS a human being

I haven't wrote about you in a long time
But you see
You still have my heart
Broken into bits
Residing the palms of your hands
Lays the biggest part of me
I still feel your chain
gripping my neck and pulling me back
you scream love me
you scream obey me
you scream until my ears are ******
I still cry thinking about you
About how you're never thinking about me too
I still shiver
Remincing about your caress
The heat of your breath before you bite my neck
You see i still love you
My biggest regret