This is how
    I want
    to hold you:
Third eyes locked
         hearts unsheathed
Listening to chirps
     fluttering softly
onto the tips
        of the dew
                   below.

Amaurotic to the hint of our
                        inclinations
or the gestation of deeper
                        stirrings
Anomalous deviancies quintessential of such dimly solaced hearts
                        took over
and we were once more
                        human.

I too wanted to run, to live on the fringe of this deteriorating civilization,
Forfeit all my potential to make a lasting difference, to contribute myself in the hopes of reversing our destruction.
Running could still be rationalized. There are many opportunities to help along the road.
I've seen professional travelers fight for visited lands they love as if it were their own,
Here and there a wanderer scatters interactions of love, strength and hope,
Still positive impacts not to be discarded.
But that isn't my dream.
I couldn't wander, knowing that this world has a time limit, knowing that the sway of ignorance is getting stronger and more destructive with each passing day.
I couldn't resign the fate of this planet, in all its magnificence and glory, to the hands of the fallen.
Gaia needs valiant warriors to fight the good fight,
to ward her of these imbeciles and restore what is sacred.
I will still journey amongst the trees
Climb mountains, chase the rising sun.
But unfortunately, for now this planet cannot afford the loss of another guardian,
distracted by the dwindling bounty being stolen by estranged hands
who will never receive the full human experience because they never allowed themselves the gift of humility and awe.

Please understand
This is out of my control
Slipping though my fingers like the wholeness I had before he ransacked my temple
and shattered my only jewel.
Nauseating shame
Embarrassment at the failure to hide such weakness
Whilst knowing none of this is a reflection of my lack of strength
A triumphant survivor, a warrior, stripped to a feeble state...

Victim.

Not again.
Lacking empowerment and support, I shrivel
Violently collapsing upon myself.
Self destruction.
That glow in my eyes resembles a star
Imploding
Until my blank stare into the expanse of the past ricochets back the flashback
With more hold on the light in me than a black hole could ever achieve.
I'd rather fake lightness
Than feel the weight I bear compress you too.
This is my burden
I never want it to be yours,
But need so desperately
For you to feel it too.
Please understand
I cannot carry this on my own
Knowing this panic is irrational according to the present setting
Yet is so real to me otherwise.
Still broken, I flinch at anything resembling a threat
Even if yesterday it was neutral
Or even pleasant.

Blue-eyed girl, why is it that you cry your soft tears?

I cry when the darkness consumes me
Its tenebrous mouth devours my glimmering being
With spindly hands immersing my heart in a well that travels down down down too far.
A maze of rotting algid bowels benumb me,
Paralyzed by its poison sludge
That clogs my breath and silences the drum that pounds inside me.
If I could flee
I would.
But instead I am bound by the caustic chains of fear.

Oh blue-eyed girl, does that make you weep?

I weep, I sob
in a tumultuous wave of agonizing gratitude
When a pure and beaming body sets ablaze the darkness and climbs in with me.
I only weep when illuminated.
I save my heaviest tears for the light.

Who am I to say there is no god
To say the world is lost
To destroy the hope others found through an enduring light they see in all beings
Who am I to assume that I determine the past and future
I do not decide the past and future.
Who am I to say you are wrong, or to think I am right
Who are we to argue the existence of a higher power none of us could ever fathom
Who are we to say we have proof! Proof that there is no god!
Did we create the universe? Do we make the sun shine, stars twinkle, galaxies dance, waves tumble, or the wind blow?
Who are we to say that our proof is proof of anything, or try to prove nothing!
Who are we to tie a bow on our beliefs, thinking only our own is the end all be all of life
Who are you to say anything
You know nothing.
We know nothing.
Tell me what you think you know, but first tell me all that you do not know
Tell me all your exponential failings of knowledge,
Or tell me that you know nothing, that we know nothing
Only then will you be wise,
Only then do you know something.

All I see before me is a fetid landscape of doomed souls
From the effervescent innocence of a glistening newborn
To the impetuous adolescent, entangled in their irrelevant problems
Lingering is the rancid smell that incessantly itches my nose,
making my face shrivel with disgust, loathing the stench of seven billion multiplying bodies awaiting their time to rot.
This fatal malediction is inevitable, yet we passionately resist with futile actions
Playing god with our machines, frantically hoping they will keep us alive, begging for the extension of our due date
When truly, they just enervate our capacity to enjoy the time bestowed upon us
Only a blink
Life is the longest thing we will ever experience
Unless a revelation occurs, unless we let go absolutely,
Unless we surrender
We will simply remain the malcontent children of calamity,
Fueling the fire to our own demise.