This thing called "life"
Is just that a thing
Its not owned by anyone

Some say that life is theirs
Life is how we live it
But what if we cant live it?

Everyday someone wakes up
And upon the opening their eyes
They decide that this "thing" isn't worth it

Every night someone cries
And with every tear that falls
They believe they don't deserve this "thing"

What they fail to understand is
That its just a thing
That its just part of breathing

Yes there are ups
And yes there are down
That's part of this "Thing"

That's part of smiling
That's part of being happy
That's just life

Your eyes may deceive you
But I'll never be who
You see in the mirror

You may have heard
That one lingering word
But it's not what you think it means

You may feel something
Yet it means nothing
Because it's not real

Love fades and passions change
Who knew it would leave me with nothing

do you remember,
Not the past,
But the future
you know, tomorrow
Not yesterday.
Now at this point
You don't understand me
So let me clarify
what I mean by
remembering the future
Is remembering what you planned
What you wanted to be
What you wanted to do
When we children
We planned our lives
As if we were writing a story
And like most great authors and poets
Such as Emily dickinson and Jk Rowlings
We wanted it to be an adventure
We wanted our lives to be action packed
Little did we know they would be
You see our lives have changed
We use to be so innocent
And we used to have dreams
But now our dreams are nightmares
And the only thing we can see in our future
is the inevitable death that we all will face
But we didn't know that
When we were growing up
All we knew was that we
along with many others
Wanted to make our family proud.
How would we know
That one day the adventure we planned
would never take place
How would we know
That one day we would lose the ones we loved
How would we know
That one day we will lose what we hold close
How would we know that one day we
Along with all of our friends
Will one day lose our lives
That's why we have to remember the future
You see without the future
we have nothing to look forward to.
And without the future we wouldn't be here
Without the future our lives have no meanings
Without the future there is no us

I'm trying
or at least that's what I say
You see
as long as I say
That I am trying
They won't tell me to try
I'm okay
or at least I want you to think I am
You see
as long as I say
That I'm okay
They won't tell me to be better
I'm having fun
or at least I tell you I am
You see
As long as say
That I am having fun
They wont tell me to lighten up

I'm giving up
I know that isn't
what you want to hear
But if I tell you I am
Then you won't be surprised
I'm dying inside
I know that isn't
What you've been seeing
But if I tell you I am
Then you might see the signs
I'm not having fun
I know that isn't
What you expected
But if I tell you
Then maybe you'll stop playing games

As I watch you
I am struck with wonder
Not as to how you move so easily
Nor how you do it so gracefully
But more in wonder of how something so beautiful
Can live in this world
It's not that your beauty  cannot be matched
Nor that it is uncommon
But rather that this world tends to make beautiful ugly
You see I used to be beautiful
I was sweet and calm
So innocent
Then this world turned me cold
I lost the light
And became the darkness
I was once beautiful
But now a forgotten face in this puzzle we call life
I am just another piece of this endless board game
And not the kind you enjoy playing with your family
But rather the kind that makes you ignore your family for days
You see I am nothing more than a star in the sky
I am no more uncommon than an ant in an ant farm
And no more wanted than a flea on a dog
You see you are beautiful
You are the light I once craved for
And now you fly alone
Flower to flower
It's as if I could reach out
And just grasp you
But I am not alive
Because beauty doesn't live forever
And soon you will meet your fate
Just as I have
Then I will hold you

I am falling
Not from a tree
or some other tall structure
But I am falling apart
Not because I am broken
And not because the glue is coming undone
You see
With age
Comes wear and tear
And instead of wearing
I am tearing
Not by my choice
But that of mother natures
You see
Everyday I wear a smile
But who knew that smile
Would one day be the reason
That I fall apart
You see mother nature has set a standard
Its not something she meant to
I'm sure of that
But it is a standard non the less
You see everyone is born happy
And though we all have our bad days
We are expected to be okay yet again
Yet I
Along with many others
Struggle to smile again
It's not that we don't want to
It's that we can't
You see we know the true intentions of this world
People who smile we perceive as naive
It's as if they are welcoming betrayal with open arms
We see their smile as a weakness
And yet strength at the same time
You see we were taught
At a very young age
That if you are strong
You will pick yourself back up when you fall
But as I grew
I learned
That strong people will hide how they feel
We are strong
And they are too
But that's not how the world sees it
So instead of crying when I get back up
I think I'll just fall a little longer
Until I am strong enough
Not to pick myself up again
But to not let them see me cry

I was in a room
a dark dark room
Of course it wasn't really a room
and it wasn't really dark
You see the room is my mind
the darkness is depression
I say that I was in a room
because I'm no longer depressed

I was stuck in a box
a very messy box
Of course it wasn't really a box
and it wasn't really messy
You see the box is my feelings
the mess is my own thoughts
I say I was in a box
because I'm no longer afraid to express myself

I was stuck in my mind
my very messed up mind
Of course it wasn't really my mind
and my mind wasn't messed up
You see my mind is my family
and the mess is me
I say that I was stuck in my mind
because I'm not stuck with people who don't love me anymore

I remember the day that I  met you
That was the day I realized you werent a stranger to me
Sure we had only just met but I knew you
I knew the child that hid behind your eyes
Because that child hides behind mine
It was as if we were connected
Not physically and not mentally but emotionally
Like we were both the playground for this sick child
As if were only meant to hide this child
As if this child was meant to be inside of us
You see I know you
Maybe not like a best friend or even an acquaintance
But I know you
I know you  more than anyone else
Sure I don't know your favorite color
And I don't even know what you name is
But I know you
That look on your face
And the sadness in your eyes are all to familiar
You see when I was a kid
I was happy
Just like you were I'm sure
But one day it changed
You know the feeling
Its all to familiar
You see one day youre smiling
You're happy and then
You're lost
Something changed
And you want to be happy
because thats what they expect
But how can you be happy when your lost
We are adults now
And yet children at the same time
Not because we are slow
And not because we aren't mature
But because we were never loved
without love we cannot grow
and I know that's not my fault
But I can't blame the child either
The child in a way protects us
Shes hurt and doesn't know who she can trust
Without trust there is no connection
without connection there is no feelings
and without feelings there is no pain.
I know you
Because I can't feel it either

I'm alone
in the dark
It's cold here
and i can't get out

I'm alone
in my struggle
It's cold here
and there's no one to cuddle

I'm alone
in my battle
It's cold here
and i feel like lost cattle

I'm alone
in my life
Its cold here
and i want a better life

I'm alone
in my sorrows
It's cold here
and it will still be tomorrow

I'm alone
in my pain
It's cold here
and warmth I cannot gain

If mom were still here
I would be different
And I would be able
To call you my dad

If mom were still here
I would be happy
And I would be able
To actually love you

If mom were still here
You wouldn't of remarried
And I would hug you
Just like I used to

If mom were still here
I would still be your little girl
Because your new wife wouldn't be there
To tear apart my whole world

On our flag
Three colors show
With thirteen stripes
And 50 stars as white as snow
Each color is special
And each makes a stand
For our country it waves
In our brave soldiers hands
White is for the purity
Of each loving soldiers loyalty
And Red is for the blood they see
And the blood that they have shed for me
Blue is for the aching hearts
Of the soldiers who lives soon fell apart
Our flag is a symbol
For a soldiers life
A life so very precious
And as beautiful  as a stary night
So look at our flag
And remember the story
And please hold them high
In a commemorating glory

My eyes are dry
And I hide behind lies
My life is done
Though some say it has just begun
I'm falling apart

My tears are gone
The last was shed at dawn
My heart is broken
By the words that were never spoken
I'm falling apart

My life is in pieces
As my depression increases
My world was turned upside down
And I have finally hit the ground
I'm falling apart

Everybody knows
That our colors always change
And everybody knows
No one can stay the same

Everybody knows
That we will be afraid
And everybody knows
we waste our days

Everybody knows
we are all falling apart
and everybody knows
you can't fix a broken heart

Everybody knows
exactly what I mean
and everybody knows
they just want to be set free

Even though
I still miss you
I know that
Taking you was what God had to do

Even though
I feel the pain your death brought me
I know that you
Are finally free

Even though
I know you're there
I always feel such despair
Because I miss you

The truth has been revealed
And my heart has a broken seal
The walls are caving in
And I can never seem to win

When I walk down the street
I can't help but drag my feet
When I look up to the sky
All I can do is cry
Because all i see
Is the pain around me

Waking up
All alone
Feeling as if
You have no home

Walking around
Head hanging low
Worked all your life
With nothing to show

Wondering why
You feel this way
Hurting yourself
Every single day

It will never end
This war inside
At least not until
You say your last goodbye

If I lose you
I'll be nothing
If I hold on
I'll have something
But only if I have you in my life

If I walk away
I'll be stronger
If I just let you go
I'll be in pain in no longer

If I move on
I'll be better
If I finally leave you
I'll be greater

If I let you go
I'll be happier
If I push you away
I'll put down my barrier
But only If I let you go

That little girl
That sits alone
Is so afraid
To go back home

That little boy
That seems okay
Is breaking down
More and more each day

That young man
That lives on the street
Ran away from home
Because he was tired of being beat

Every ones got a story
Try not to judge
The life they have
Is because of a past
They have overcome

You were so hurt
You couldn't believe
The things that I went through
You blamed yourself
For not being there
To protect me from it
How do you think I feel?
I had to endure it
Why do you think
I'm backing away
From the world around me?
You couldn't bare
The thought of such a thing
How do you think I feel?
The images
Burned inside my brain
You worry about
How disgusted they are
How do you think I feel?

When she was alone
And when no one was home
She would close her eyes
And look up to the sky

"I know that your there"
She would say in despair
"But why aren't you here"
"Why did you disappear"

When she was afraid
Her burdens she laid
On the one up above
Who showed her such love

When she looked up to the sky
All she did was cry
Because he loved her so
That he made her his own
And now she has a home
Because she looked up to the sky

Running
Trying to escape
This horrible past
That's eating you alive
Closing in on you
Like you're a deer
You're painful past the hunter
Trying so desperately to gain control
Cornering you
Just when you thought you got away
Run!
Faster!
He's coming for you
You know he's there
Lurking in the woods
Waiting...
Just waiting
For the perfect moment to shoot
For the ability to take you down with one shot
You run
But he's still right behind you
You run faster
Yet he's still there
You can't escape him
So you just accept it
You stop running
And he shoots
You fall down
He thinks the chase is over
But just when he is on top of you
You fight back

You get up and run
Running
Trying to grasp your future
This bright future
That's giving you hope
Cheering you on
Like you're a cub
You're future the mother
Trying so hard to make you feel important
Lifting you up
Walk
Slower
She's here
You know she's there
Standing in the open meadow
Waiting...
Just waiting
For you to run to her
For her to be able to hold you in her arms
You stop
But she walks forward
You shy away
Yet she takes no offense
So you accept it
You step forward
And she hugs you
You hug her back
She knows you will be happy now
She encourages you to move forward
But just when she is about to let you go
You hug her tighter
And whisper to her
"thank you"

Every night
when the sun goes down
A beautiful sight
unfolds all around

The Moon starts
With his wonderful dance
Enthralling hearts
By sending their mind into a trance

His wonderful rays
swirling everywhere
Creating a maze
Through out the night air

He grabs your hand
And leads the way
His bright rays creating a band
So we have no choice but to stay

Dancing with the moon
Is so much fun
But it will all end soon
With the rising of the morning sun

All these years
I thought I had you
Through all these tears
I now know I lost you

I was always told the wrong thing
And the words you shared
Slowly began  to sting
Because I actually cared

Now I'm alone
I was pushed away
now I'm on my own
Till the end of my days

I'm all by myself
But I'm better like this
Because I'm alone

Shadows were made by light
Just like the lack of day causes night

The darkness we fear
Is the loss of the light we hold dear

The night where our monsters are
Was where we found our love for light

Where do i belong?
in this cold dark world
she wonders as her arms slowly curl

Where do i belong?
in this unhappy place
she asks as she cries to the sky

Where do i belong?
in this miserable life
she cries ,to the beating heart, she holds inside

Where do i belong?
in this facade of emotions
she asks the mirror on the wall

Where do i belong?
in this terrifying mind
she wonders as she imagines her future

Where do i belong?
in this awful illusion
she imagines as she ends
the future of the unknown

Inside I'm hurt
I only feel pain
And i have no self worth

Inside I cry
My heart is broken
And empty inside

Inside there is no facade
I don't hide my pain
And my emotions can be seen

Inside It's a prison
My darkest secrets eating at me
Even my soul can't fight it

Inside there's a dream
A world without pain
A world with you standing next to me

Inside I'm broken
But you're still alive
My memory of you
Is the reason i died
So that i could keep  you alive

the holes in the walls
tell of my past
when i had my falls
and when I thought I wouldn't last

The broken doors
and empty room
tell of the wars
when I faced my doom

The darkened light
and shattered glass
from my lonely nights
held in my past

The broken house
falling down
I feel like a mouse
trapped  in the ground

You know the difference
Between right and wrong
But you and your conscious
Don't get along

You claim that you are
As good as can be
But your sinful grin
Cannot fool me

You're a sociopath
That's all I see
A sociopath
Is all you'll ever be

I know you're gone
And you can't live on
But some nights i wonder
If you ever really left

I know you're there
And i know you can hear me
But every day i question
If you really still care

I know I miss you
And there's nothing i can do
But I keep wondering
If this was all a huge mistake

I know you love me
And that's plan to see
But I ask myself all the time
If you know what i know
That you were and are
Everything i would ever need

Please just smile
quit defending the defeated child
and stand up for what you want
that defeated child to become

Please just smile
and be who you want
don't worry about your past
and what you think your life lacks

Please just smile
and see your own beauty
stop being blinded
by what you aren't

Will you stay
or go away
Fly up high
or stay by my side

Will you stay
or will you go
Run away
or stay at home

Will you stay
or say goodbye
Will you please stay
with me tonight

Will you stay
or go away
Do what you want
but please take me too

Why leave now
and let me fall
Why not stay
and help me stand tall

The love you have
breaks my madness
Our quick embraces
cures my sadness

Why not stay
and make my day
Why must you leave
and force me to grieve

They help sometimes
but they also hurt
the game hangman
established their worth

whatever you say
cannot be unsaid
so remember your friends
and don't cause their end

forever and always
thats what we would say
but today is the day
that i knew they weren't the same

forever to you
and forever to me
are like comparing
purple to green

always to you
and always to me
is like comparing
a frog to a tree

No light to be seen
No shimmer or gleam
No sun and no shine
We left it all behind

All alone no love or hope
No more warmth just dark smoke
And no more friends
This must be the end!

No more laughing
Only darkness cracking you
Breaking you down
So you fall to the ground

No more happiness
No more forgiveness
Just the same old quiet scarceness
Just the same old judging silence

Alone and afraid
Dark and unwanted
Never to be loved
But always to be silenced

This is the must...
The things that just happen
For a reason or not
We will all be forgotten

You had a way out
and so do i
but i have to stay strong
for those on the other side
i know they love me
i know they mean well
but lets just face it
their putting me through hell
everyday they smile
and everyday i cry
all i see is rain
and all they see is sunshine
i know its hard to understand
why suicides at high demand
but lets just think for a minute
why some people want to end it
when you're in pain, you cry
when your heart breaks
you essentially die
the pain is real
and thats all they feel
so the best option for them
is to make it all end
then the pain is gone
and they can finally move on
they cant hurt themselves
and they can end their own hell.

theres no more grey clouds
theres no more rainy days
theres only sunlight shinning through

theres no more silent tears
theres no more weary years
theres only happiness all around you

theres no more all alone
theres no more go away
theres only please stay here with me

theres no more be afraid
theres no more go and hide
theres only stand tall and face your fears

theres no more dark  side
theres no more good byes
theres only hey how are you

theres no more aching pain
theres no more lonely hearts
theres only love for everyone

theres no more grey skies
theres no more silent griefs
theres only smiles all around

theres no more go away
theres no more silent days
theres only night full of laughter

theres no more falling down
theres no more lying on the ground
theres only spread your wings and fly

theres no more missing you
theres no more crying eyes
theres only i will be home soon

theres no more crying
theres no more saddened days
theres only smile and keep moving on

theres no more blood shed
theres no more falling walls
theres only happy things all around

Theres no more bad things
theres no more melting wings
theres only rainbows,peace, and love

It was a hello
with a compliment attached
an exchanging of words
the conversation didn't lack

It was a hello
that made me smile
It was so very simple
and maybe as harmless as a child

It was a hello
and nothing more
but i cant help to imagine
what i am looking for

It was just a hello
and that was all
but could this become
something after all

I know you're there protecting me
You never really left my side
I know this was meant to be
But did you really have to die

You protect me everyday
From the world outside my walls
And  you always find a way
To catch me when I fall

You are my angel
My mother
You are my cradle
You always provide me cover

You may be gone
from my side
I know that you were holding on
through all the tears I cried
But I am thankful
That I have an angel like you
Fighting for me on the other side

When I was alone
I would look up to the sky
And I would peace
And find loving eyes

The man in the moon
Is my only friend
He will always be there
Until the very end

When I was afraid
I would see the moon shine
I would find the one thing
That I could call mine

The man in the moon
Has always been there
He would make smile
Because he really cared

If the sky falls
I'll still stand tall
Because I have you
And I love you to

If the sky rumbles
I'll refuse to tumble
Because you'll be strong
And our life will be long

If the sky disappears
I'll always be here
Because I won't go far
From where you are

If the sky darkens
Your voice I will hearken
Upon my ear
I hear it clear
Your true
Undying love

Love is a choice
That our heart makes
When it believes
It has found our soulmate

Love is a word
To describe great desire
From one lonely person
To the one they admire

Love is a gift
From my heart to you
To help keep you warm
So you don't feel so blue

Love is a choice, a word, a gift
It is a thing that we need
to know that others exist

Here i am
all alone
no one to love
no one to hold

Here i am
scared and afraid
no more light
no more sunny days

Here i am
in the darkness
feeling only love
not hearing the silence

Here i am
Happy as can be
Holding onto the darkness
Because it loves me for me

Hello there. Can you hear me?
See me, love me or feel me?
If you can’t, don’t be scared.
You will another day.
You saw me, you loved me, you hugged me.
You heard me call your name.
But then the day came.
You’re gone, now I’m alone.
All thanks to that one day.
When will I see you again?
No one knows for sure.
But I know it will be one day.
You may not be here presently, .
But I can feel your spirit visit me.
And that’s when I look forward.
To that One Day the most.

I used to be broken
I was way beyond repair
The pain that you put me through
Caused such great despair

I used to be angry
I was so hateful
The anger that controlled me
Made me so ungrateful

I used to be sad
I was always upset
The sadness that took over
Was my lifes biggest threat

I used to be unhappy
But now i am okay
The pain that once broken
Has gone so very far away

I'm not perfect
I'm sorry for that
But just so you know
To be perfect takes a pro

I'm not perfect
I'm not even close
But I don't care
I don't have that kind of time to spare

I'm not perfect
And I think that's okay
Because i know that perfection
Will reach me one day