When a life is taken
So tragically
So prematurely
How are we supposed to react?

I have lost friends
And acquaintances
Who were in their teens
Their early twenties.
The circumstances were ruthless
Two suicides, an overdose.
How does this happen?

The worst part is
I would have never expected it.
Colin, you were perfect
Literally, that is the only word that comes to mind
When I think of you.
I miss you so much it breaks my heart.

Michael, you were right up there with him.
I just remember how when
You used to teach Sunday school at church
And a child was absent for several weeks in a row
You went out of your way to call their home
And make sure things were okay.
I can only aspire to be like you.

Both of you were the last people
Who I would expect to do this.
Everybody loved you two,
I guess you didn't see it that way.

Conor, most recently deceased.
I know I did not know you very well
But I have met you a few times through friends.
You always seemed like a great kid
And I know that my best friend and her family
Loved you.
So many people did.

The thing I have taken away from these tragedies
Is how short and precious life really is.
These three wonderful people have taught me
That no matter how early your life is curtailed
It is crucial to live while you are alive.
Would we remember you the way we do
If all three of you had forgotten to do that?
It is not your passing that serves as a teacher
But your three distinct and brilliant lives.
Rest in peace, my friends.
I will see you soon.

Blameworthy,
That's me.
Bound by judgment
And childhood nightmares.
Did I mention sleepless nights?
Even though my eating disorder has dissipated
I still forget to eat at times.

What's wrong, darling?
Who told you that
You're not good enough?
That no one wants you?
Who would lie to you and say that you aren't beautiful?

Look at yourself.
Attractive and thin
Friendly and loved
By everyone.
Have you looked at me recently
Or ever?

I am your antithesis.
Grotesque and bloated
Introverted and lonely.
I wish I could be like you
But I will not try to let that happen.
I need to somehow embrace
This unsightliness
This passiveness
How I let people walk all over me.
But do I accept it
Or do I change it?

In essence,
You are nearly sublime
And all I am
Is one mess of a life.

i denied being depressed
because i thought maybe telling myself that
would decrease the chances of it being true
but i now realize that denying your feelings for something
only makes them stronger
and because of this
i love you more
i hate the world around me
the environment i once thought was so beautiful
has now painted a monstrous image in my head
of what truly lies in this place
full of danger and lies and people who say they care about you
but actually don't
i have abandoned the memories
that linger in my mind
but no longer have meaning
i just need a new place to start everything over
i have come to the conclusion
that i have reached my breaking point

*a

the thing about addiction
is that a person
can be rid of it for
years, then relapse at any
moment of exposure
to their poison

(and this is what loving
you feels like)

he tells me he is reaching
his breaking point
(and) he sighs,
(and) he looks away,
(and) i want to reach out to him
to touch his hand, shoulder,
knee

but i am afraid he will
shatter

Helpless
Cold
Shaking
Broken
Untouchable
Hardened.

Do you see what you've done?
You have
Premeditated
Considered
Lusted for control
Desired
Executed
Attacked
Left.

Her intoxication is not an excuse.
Her skirt did not scream
"Yes!"
The fact that she is passed out
Does not mean that she hopes to wake up
With you and your friends on top of her.
Silence does not equal consent.

When will these big shots in the government
Stop preaching about "legitimate ****"
And other ******* that has to do
With a woman's ****** rights?

The church needs to stop condoning
Men giving into their whims
To dominate and control their wives.
Whether they're dating, married
Or freaking connected by a body part
If she says no
That ends it.
Period.