The snow falls like gossamer
All over the ground
A white winter landscape
With joy all around
Be merry and gleeful
With you and your kin
I'll be inciting mayhem
With my agents of sin
You can keep your young Jesus
and his ol' deadbeat dad
Keep your fat, jolly santa
and his red, leath'ry ol' bag
My sleigh's an old buick
Tricked out with such kit
It makes Captain Kirk's warp drive
An old *******
Merry metal christmas
And a ****** new year
Gather yon virgins
Round the lit evergreen
A more perfect self-sacrifice
I never have seen
Like roasting chestnuts
Their bodies will burst
Smelling of bacon and pine
A potpurrie in a hearse
And sing in the madness
Bring in the new year
A rage of songs and of fury
A purge Christmas's cheer
Merry metal Christmas
And a ****** new year
Kids asleep in their beds
Dreaming of sugarplums
They asked for an xbox
But I brought them guns
Spiked milk and *** cookies
Are fuel for the trip
Huffing tinsel to forget
How fast amazon ships
So beckon your best angels
With your red-ribbon-ed wreathes
While your racist old uncles
Drink, curse, and deceive
My iron reindeer
Care not for north poles
My midgets care not dig
F'r the kids deserving of coal
Merry metal Christmas
And a ****** new year
Wrap yourself in warm blankets
Watch old family films
Drink chocolate and eggnog
Until you've had your fill
When by embers of chimneys
And stockings carefully hung
Muddy footprints by presents
Are proof that someone had come
Fire and burgl'r alarms
Sound out through the night
Telling to one and to all
Have a ******* good night
Merry metal Christmas
I'll see you next year.
I took a stab at a Christmas carol inspired by the Pogues, Dropkick Murphys, and other celtic/punk/folk I've been listening to lately. This is a quick-waltz, 3/4 time, and in D Major. I havent worked out all the music yet.