Where I grew up
We didn't celebrate celebrity
And weren't slaves
to the cattle-drivers of the masses

Where I grew up,
We were just young

And free

We toiled on train-tracks
Inventing troubles requiring
A daring escape.

With our stick-strapped-satchels
We foolishly mocked the local bums

Jealous of their freedom.
Ignorant of their pain.

Imitation is the hallmark of love
And yes, we loved the bums
And we were thorough through it

Where I grew up
The incandescence of the late afternoon
And early morning suns
Drew in a vibrant orange
Cast as paint on pale walls

The apartment... and eventually... the house
Shone brighter for it;
Though it seemed to struggle less in a house
That was considerably more empty

Especially around the holidays.

Where I grew up
We were taught racial and radical equality
Exacted with extreme prejudice
At every pep rally and presumably PTA meeting.

And while neighboring towns held race riots
We were racing our bikes, well...
I do miss my rollerblades

Where I grew up
Every girl was pretty as a movie star
And chased the bad boys
Like in every story I'd ever heard

And those boys won by popularity and power of presence
Girls they never deserved

Where I grew up
In winter we built massive palaces
From the winter's teardrops that huddled together
For warmth after the plow

Where I grew up...

I grew up too soon.
A little more than a little at a time
And it became clear
I had to move.

I run
Away from good fortune
and into the fray
Fortuna favet fortibus
Or so someone once said

I run from the city skies poisoned
by the blinding lights of frivolity
Desperate for blackouts
Rolling and unpredicatble
I hope they last months
So I can fill a mason jar with fire flys

I run from the pretty faces
Claiming exasperatedly that mine is just
Unconventional
And that pretty faces are often
If not always
Attached to liars

I run from the honesty
The unyielding truth that I
have ceased to be me
And have been replaced
by an imposter
Who laughs when I look in the mirror

I run until my lungs gasp
For the air between two stars
And until the blood flowing
In the sinew of my thigh
Begins to burn and clot

I run
Until my legs fall off

Just to crawl across the finish
And pretend that I
am a martyr
For a purpose that kept me running
And I forget now

Somewhere there is a bee
Excellent at pollination
If a little aggressive.
Someday this bee will sting
And will find out the irony
That he is allergic to me.

[ G Major 3/4 time]

Some nights I cant remember
All the things that happened
I never will get over
All the mornings after

How many loves of a lifetime
Walked right out my front door
While I lied-awake hopelessly
Wanting for more

Each notch in my bedpost
Another scar on my heart
Of the ten-thousand maybes
Who turned out to be not

They march right through me
In an endless parade
Insufficient remedies
For someone I cant replace

My pulse is the drum beat
Our love was the war
And their harmonies choke me
As I hang by my
Guitar chords

I keep on playing you
A song written for her
It has a different title now
The contents are undisturbed

Violins whisper
A dull aching pain
And in a hundred "I love yous"
I whispered her name

Each moment of ecstasy
That rips you away
Leaves the empty shell of me
Searching for an escape

But her song keeps playing
A phantom theme in my head
While you reach your crescendo
I'm just here in our bed

My pulse is the drum beat
Our love is the war
And our harmony chokes me
As I hang myself by my

Emptiness chokes me
As I hang myself and I

Suffocate
As I hang by my
Guitar chords

<instrumental - strings bridge>

<modulated harmony and waltz... piano>

<drums and acoustic front + choral vocal overlay "suffocate...">

Her pulse was my drum beat
My love was the cost
Cashed-in in self-sacrifice
It was me that I lost

In mirrors like pictures
I can see who I was
But I look so different now...
I became "I am because"

We shared our heartbeat
Our love was the war
and this song hangs
Something unfinished
I suffocate
Trapped in our tapestry
It's just me
Left to hang by my guitar chords

Its a **** shame that she had such a pretty picture
Cause when we finally met she was such a ***** - Her
Mouth kept running round the clock
She ******* about her life non-stop
I said "girl, I don't care about your ****"
Stuck up privileged little rich girl

Its a shame that shes such a beautiful disaster
Cause her pretty smile wont let anyone walk past her
Pay attention and you'll see
She thinks she's Jackie Kennedy
That stuck-up little *****-girl

Dont waste my time
I dont want to hear it anymore
You hate your dad
And your sick of being bored
Maybe that means something
To somebody else
You think that you're the only one
Looking for a way out

Some day she'll wake up and she'll look in to the mirror
And she will find out that theres no one near her
What do you expect
When all you care about's yourself
But there are some nights that I still miss her...
My privileged little *****-girl.

The bees of the tree of knowledge
Produce a honey so sweet
And so protected in the tree's mortal coils
That any who drink from it
Get diabetes
And scrapes on their knees.

I am not what you expected
A paradox in locomotion
A pendulum marking out its own time
An uninspired
Overachiever
Who refuses to write in words that sound similiar
And I too will leave you wanting