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I'm not here to judge
Or to cast my aspersions
I've written my Ameri-cant
And Amerikunt versions
I'm unconvinced
That I'm still alive
But that ****** Orwell
Never wrote 1985

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la lalla
La la la la la

It's easy to think
We deserve more than this
Epitaphs, gravestones
And **** in the sink
Obits will read
By who we're survived
Ungrateful kids
Born after 1985

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la lalla
La la la la la
There were sunlit days
Of picnics and balconies
Christmas mornings
And final warnings
And I still remember
The last look you gave to me

And I hope
You're not watching
I cant stomach what you'd think of me
And I know
There's no "do over"
But I'm certain I'm not who I'm supposed to be

All that's left of me

I hope I made you proud
But I'm run over
A burnt picture of a kid in effigy
I took the weight
You taught me to shoulder
I got old and its got harder on my knees

I made mistakes
I'd never dreamed of
Every disappointing decision
I could make
I made my grave
And I hope I have love
To make every ******* choice
Worth its sake

And I hope
You're not watching
I cant stomach what you'd think of me
And I know
There's no "do over"
But I'm certain I'm not who I'm supposed to be
Sorry Dad.
The words I seek
Just escape me
But the meaning is so clear
I try to find the right words
But those words
They disappear

So I speak to you in riddles
Because my words get in my way
I can grasp them for a moment
But they
Always fade away

I scream because
I cant trust myself
And I don't know how to speak
My breath is gone
My voice ripped out
And left bleeding at my feet

And the thoughts
They rise like water
They crest and come crashing down
So lets just sit here
Silently so
I dont have to drown
Hell no

I am nothing more than
Imprisoned in my mind
A voice I once thought reliable
Now determined to stay inside

So sit there frozen
Carved in stone
While we drift farther away
This shattered home
Is just a shallow hole
Words left ruin in their wake

Ruin in
Ruin in
Ruin in their wake
I wrote this a long time ago but never put it out before. It is a song with full music written even though there is no chorus.
So this is what it feels like winning?
Trumpets sound our victory
I cast out your Light-bringer
So what now
Becomes of me?

You said my name is as Justice
Dared me be worthy of such a charge
I believed a divine purpose
And yet I'm blunting my sword
Is mercy blasphemy?

I've given all I have to give
For Heaven's sake
I'm not seeking your forgiveness
I won't forgive this
I dont want to see you when I wake

You pitted us brother to brother
Tested each our loyalty
Again you do to your subjects
Claiming proof of faith and fealty
- "prove your worth to me"

How can you hold any guilty
When you are pulling all the strings
Strive, struggle, and suffer
Desperation begets rotten things

If this is what's to be heaven
I wont stomach it
I exile myself in shame
For the part I played in shaping this
And Father, you stopped list'ning
But the mortals beg for you to list
If you wont hear them beg salvation
Than Father,
You can take my wings
Die not
And sleepest thou assuredly
That unto death
Still vigil willst I keep
Mighty and deadly
Whispered or strong
When before he comes to you
It is I he will meet
Poor death
Cannot come to you without
taking me
Let him come
I invite his chill breath and
Steel of sythce
On my watch no harm
Willst come to you this night
This is a show off off-broadway
Filled with prose and cause
Complicated expositions
Stranger than fiction ever was

I've auditioned a cast of characters
And never made the lead
Odd for that on these footboards
Are where they were conceived

I know this part by heart
Hell, I wrote the lines
Seeking my Euridice, my Juliet
Cursed to never find

I have no faith in critics
They rarely get the point
And in all the marvelous performances
I am still not "right"

It's gone dark inside my theater now
The cast and audience have all gone
The curtains took their final bow
I'll seek you from the balconies

I've kept the ghostlight on
I think we have a different sort of problem now...
One which has probably always plagued us,
Sometimes its embrace has held hold of us for so long
Realities were changed
The concept of "the other"
A simple idea, that you are not like me
A mechanism of the smallest
Most unevolved parts of our brains
Yet without which we could not "be"
The sense that
I am
The sense that
you are not what I call "me"
The basest recognition that we are different
How simple an idea - independent consciousness
That even genetically identical twins
Can recognize themselves from each other
"The other"
We've weaponized this basic perceptual function
Since the very dawn of our species
And through complexities of
Environment
Genetic bottlenecks
Genocides
We are all "I" now
Nearly 9 billion "I"s
All seeking an ability to be "we"
That is the basic function of civilization
To define "me" among the "we" and split our burden of work
For the greater survival of the "us"
But "us" is so much weaker than "we"
"Us" desperate in our divisions still seeking to be "I"
In a complex infrastructure that "me" can be a part of "we"...
This is how humanity is gas-lit and misled
Told to always be seeking, and never to be sought,
And if the "I" of a "me" is charismatic enough...
"We" let them lead "we" and in doing so
define an "us"
For now
Civilization must be governed
but "we" continue to give away all of our "I"s
to be "me" among the "we"
In theory to push "us" to progress
It's why terrorism has the wrong name
Each ruling faction in history
Was a "terrorist" to someone else
- to have made someone afraid
"Terrorism" seems to declare that the objective
Is nothing more than fear - so reductive
A sentiment to dehumanize their "us"
and label their "we" - "them"
To make their "we" less than our "us"
I prefer Organized Non-Unified State Actors (ONUS)
"Terrorism" sounds like an individual act
Coordinated by a conspiracy of individual acts
Robbing "their" identities of recognition
- which is probably what it all is ultimately about to begin with
"They" do not fit the fold of the agreements of the many civilized "we"s and want to be their own "us"
But there is no room, resource,
There is no time
Food
Water
"We" have already identified, occupied, and commodified
Every resource for an unaligned "us"
"You" must be "we" for your share and to survive
"Their" methods are poorly rationalized, but very intelligent
Bad intellect and severe commitment
"We" dream of conspiracy to make "our" "us" look capable
But their "us" is organized and capable
If "we" ever want to end terrorism
"we" need to call it what it is
Revolution with no vacancy
Organized groups of disuinified elements taking action
It doesnt matter that the "they" may not reach "their" goals
- "they" dont have enough "we"s on their team
"They" make "we" hurt
And shame "them" for it, ignorant to their "us"'s hurt
I am not making excuse or any compassion
for those among the universal "us"
Humanity, sapiens,
Who cannot get on board with "we"
because the most of the "we"s decided this is how it will be
And it is broken
And it is wrong
And there are many hurt
But "us" lives in a universe
finite in 'isms confined to our limited time
So as much as I or any "me" tries to recognize an ONUS
in the attempt of just being seen by "we"
It is always "the other", how are "they" unlike "me"
Not what do both "we"s share.
The world's greatest collection of "we"
Wrote arbitrary rules rules of "us" in this time
That "they" isn't yet a "we" for all
"we" are not yet "us"... too many "we"
too many poisoned by "me"
and worse
entitled by "I"
When "we" do we dont need lables anymore
Race, theology, gender - ways to describe "the other"
That will be a beautiful day
When the sun rises on a dead rock
Condemned to death by fire in unyeilding climate change
And then further pushed to annihilation by nuclear winter
Robert Frost was right
The world will end in Fire and Ice
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