Sometimes I wish the moon could talk, oh the things i could learn. It could tell me about the nights it's shined through my window, illuminating the tear tracks on my face and the regret in my heart. It could tell me about the wishes that have been wasted on it, year after year, child after innocent child placing their hopes on a cold rock floating forever out of our reach in an endless expanse of nothing. It could tell me of the countless nights that have past, and the nights that are yet to come. It could tell me of ancient secrets that ages have buried, but all I really want to know is if it's really made of cheese.

We never went on dates like other couples

We lit fires

I remember seeing the sparks catch hold and ignite whatever poor object was our target but no flame was as bright as your smile,
your face flushed with the heat of the inferno and the pure joy of arson

I remember the times we almost got caught by the cops but we were fast, faster than them

In those moments we were the fastest things that ever were

We would sit on my roof and try and catch our breath and we'd laugh loud and free, full to the brim with the exhilaration of a child meeting a puppy

You were fire itself, dangerous and bringer of disaster

I was a thrill ******, always on the edge of death, both feet dangling over the void, hanging on by my fingertips

You burned everyone and everything you brought close to you

I basked in the heat that was your being

You were happiest when you had a trail of ashes behind you

I was happiest when I was by your side

Maybe that's why even to this day I have an intense passion for flames

I finish lighting the last picture of yours and use the flame approaching my finger tips to light the cigarette I have clamped between my lips. As I watch the flames dance and catch hold, burning what was once my heart but is now nothing more than bittersweet memories, I exhale smoke from my nose and watch it paint the night sky with ghostly patterns, wondering which act is killing me more.

Christ I'm sweaty

My head hurts

**** I'm gonna throw up again

We drank way too much last night, as we have the last four

I remember you dancing on the table, a beer bottle held loosley in your hand, your hair flowing around your head and neck almost in slow motion

You had no rhythm even when you were sober

I was clumsy and loud and very drunk but I remember you beaming at me when I swept you off the table and took you to your room at the end of the hall

In there our sweatiness

the smell of liquor on our breath

our labored breathing

It all disappeared

It was just us, a bottle of Captain, and the infinite night

I woke up with a pounding headache and the taste of bile in my mouth

You were holding the empty bottle, snoring with your mouth open, your hair a disaster

I've never seen anything as beautiful

You get up and stumble to the bathroom and I hear you start to ***** so I go and hold your hair back and stroke your neck and tell you it's ok it's ok don't apologize it's ok

You're embarrassed of your messy hair and you're apologizing for puking and your makeup is running down your face and you're pale and sweaty and I'm so in love with you it's incredible

I clean you up and bring you back to bed and within minutes you're snoring again

You're a mess

But you're a ******* beautiful mess

A mess I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with

Our livers are ******

But our hearts are unbreakable

I want to sit with you and watch the ocean's tide ebb and flow to the beat of your heart

I want to drink cheap coffee with you and watch the sun rise off the balcony of a sketchy motel

I want to wake you up at 3 in the morning and take you out for pancakes in our pajamas

I want to bring you to festivals and dance with you till our feet are numb

I have no money or plans or anything going for me, really

All I can give you is my hand

And my heart

We may be living off minimum wage

But facing the world with you by my side is worth more than any amount of money to me