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with what fresh words of choice or soft regret
are we to fight our battles now that time
has tolled against us the dull weight of grime
obscures our vision but no sort of debt
to past or future could hurt or abet
the heart of purpose as we seek to climb
beyond this moment past the normal slime
where there is neither  injury nor fret
you see us crawling searching for one spark
of ordinary kindness that might lead
the normal person from their weary plight
relieve our hearts from burden of the dark
reward with honour the most worthy deed
and grant assurance of a renewed light
 May 2013 Bozhidar Pangelov
st64
Three-legged spider on a ***** tile
Eyeball rolls, clean in hand
Massive metal door opens, up top a hill
Graveyard of ever-ringing cells.

What's real creepy to you?

Enclose the city, lock us out ..for good
Condemned as doomed, living dead
Big guns survive in metallic domes
See the crass ******* shoot us down!

Wanna talk about what's creepy, huh?

Plunderers now lay down new laws
Can't fight the sick, red sway
Random acts of violence bay
Armoured eyes see all from lofty towers.

Creepy autocrats hide the truth, right?

No soaring when blood runs rivers
Tripping over rotting corpses
Decaying stench of hope dying
Help will come, we must believe!

Do you believe lies to your face?

Infrastructure's down, no services
Power's out, no more flushing
Car carcasses aflame on every corner, yet
How come big brother's eyes still move?

Are the gullible ones really stupid and feeble?

Sun shines, but nothing grows
Rain seeps red away into sewers
Crops of twisted metal, hoards of guns
Skeletal trees adorn our landscape.

Why hold askance your glance skyward?

The gates will open to let us in
Surely, they witness our hardship!
There must exist a life beyond this strife
Uproar, bombard, gas, artillery....then no more....

Can you ever cease to have temerity?

In face of adversity, calamity and injustice
We should NEVER cease to be exasperated!
Hope must prevail; faith must live;
Thoughts expressed; love and respect must survive.

Can you afford your spirit just to let go....?

Think about it. Creepy autocrats eternally rank ...

Chronically..........Insidious
Repressively........Deleterious
Egotistically.........Inadequate
Eruptively............Odious
Pretentiously.......Tedious
Yucky...................****!


S T, 31 May 2013
Down with those who think they can control people; fed up with ...systems!
Written in Jan 2013.

Inspired (partly) by movie "Doomsday".



sub-entry:

'fool'

don'tcha go tryna control me, sucker
I'm-a kick yer *** fer you, fool!


(need I say more? lol)
 May 2013 Bozhidar Pangelov
st64
1.
Twelve-eleven
Just past midday.

Lying on this bed alone
Looking through the window
Staring at clouds, bulbous
Promising all to youth.

May try to latch on one
Catch a dream, perchance
Floating on forever
Away from distress and pain.

I long for chances to prove myself
Can show and give so much
Plans and dream hatch
Eggs crack, hatch to realise the truth.


2.
Twelve-twelve
Just past midday.

Disappearing fast, wind shifts
Wispy threads are all that's left now
Dreams dissolving into the air
Less to touch on and fly away.

Some dreams are gained, others lost
New dreams now, comes with age
Hope replaces reckless mood
Settle in and eke all out.


3.
Twelve-thirteen
Just past midday.

Now sagacity abides in this ancient shell
But nobody hears the long-lost songs
Would believe such intense poems from the heart
All an echo away; endless now....into dreamy wisps.


hm....

S T, 31 May 2013
Written a while back, seems to fit pieces of this clockwork-melody.
Ain't clouds just...sooo beautiful, hm?
Wanted to make it 'midnight clouds', but then I thought...wait a minute, who the hell sees midnight clouds? lol
Ok, I do :)
Crazy, huh.



sub-entry:

'clock-work melody'

magenta flutters by, draped in gilt
stuck on your shoe.

from canal to canal, the traveler goes
seeking currents to the shore.

often, dreams can make you fly a bit
best to keep alive.

absolute truth larks in clockwork songs
melody of cottony swathes.

if you dare dream so hard enough
them visions will prevail.

hell-o!
 May 2013 Bozhidar Pangelov
st64
my breath* .....

1.
the powerful, yet gentle wind beneath this dismal, broken flight
the crazy, brilliant ship on stormy seas;
can’t fly over to you ... on wounded wings
can’t sail the wide oceans .... without its captain.


2.
should grow up, by now....
but just can’t, ok.
why so afraid of what longs to be, what's meant?
let me tell you, this is real!


3.
how failure sits smug, an endless smirk
hopelessly try to put it all together again.



you are ....my very breath.... and yet,
you are ....still unable to see ....


S T, 30 May 2013
how did the sun go missing.....
oh, how the feeling of failure can dog the soul.
yeah, woof woof.
no entertaining of profound elegies here, ok.


sub-entry:

‘the places you took me’

1.
so many magical things we said and (almost) left unsaid
oh, how we tried to see if our jigsaw pieces could cascade and fit tight
myriad collections of happy squares and delightful triangles
and so oft, we tripped over each others’ thoughts.

2.
yet, what I love best ...will always be...
the places you took me ... oh!
into deep and silent caves - where we beamed our life-light
over the wheat-coloured fields - where we roamed so freeeee ...

3.
yes, I keep nurturing in steadfast hope
that arboured grove we planted together
and like canopied, navy night-sky, it flourishes beyond reckoning ....
despite your hectic absence.

4.
and then, you left me so
badly  a-hitching for breath....again
yet, the feel of you is so strong: intense
when the heavens pour rain ....like now.

5.
what a non-linear journey, you've lit the unseen way!
but without you, rain is just water falling
need to remember to keep breathing
oh, breathe me ......
 May 2013 Bozhidar Pangelov
st64
1.
And so, I clamber up the heavy *****
and sit alone upon a wide, flat rock.

I still the voices clamouring hard within
and try to listen to the air settle and breathe . . .

The eagle swoops low, whirring loud beside the rocky outcrop
likening its talons to sustain the hold of life . . . (this line to be amended ...sounds odd)

Leaves quiver silent on massive trees
obedient to nature, yet roots bold outgrown . . .

Shade reaches and stretches genial arms
while feel of dark and moist, fertile ground pervades . . .

Air thick with teeming life the eye can't see
thrums with invisible threads, linking slow tendrils . . .

Quiet sky looms dignified and peers squinted
while sun rays slant into pores, kiss my cheek.

Beetles scamper light along the soft, red sand
and not unlike them, I seek still the answer within . . .



2.
Fierce fire takes up dry tinder, consumes into heated coils
destroying with relish, yet offer cleansing balm . . .



3.
Sudden rains refresh, glance off surprised face, upturned
sweet deluge leaves all sodden to delighted heart . . .



4.
I turn not away
I look up
to receive . . . gladly.


I give such thanks
fall on knees to see . . .

No red sky (as in my nightmares)
No lost sun
No smoky horizon
No grey trees
No dead leaves.

Only yellow sunshine
Only blue sky
Only green leaves
Only clear horizon

as far as the eye can see.




S T, 8 May 2013
Insomniac scribblings :)

Just finished reading amazing short story by Joan Aiken (born 1924).

A most fabulous and dynamic tale of mystery and humour, hope and dreams by two protagonists Tom and Lily ...'Searching for Summer'.

Story written in the 1950's, of a life where only drab colours exist...no sunshine.
At the time of publication, the memory of the 1945 atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki remained fresh in the minds of many.
People lived with the lurking threat of nuclear war, weapons retesting, radioactive matter (fallout), air pollution.
Simply put, nuclear anxiety.


Yet.....
If we can but give the merest credence to the power of dreams overstepping the bounds of reality, then maybe...just maybe.....(along with an indomitable spirit).....

oh well.
 May 2013 Bozhidar Pangelov
st64
1.
white chapel on a hill

sheep dot rugged, earthy slopes

ruminate on warm, sun-kissed dale

endless lines and lines of verdant tones

late afternoon sun slanting

behold, jaune compassion

alfalfa ocherous leans willowy in wind

distance of silence yearns on

afternoon shadows lie within majestic vales

powder-blue ranges in 3D tiers

shadowy rifts, like a painting out of heaven

lone tree not alone, reaches up

blinding turns and rust-coloured bends, twisty trails

two on horseback, apples for sale

reservoir as a hold all for all

brown mud is where redemption lies.


2.
sun dips away, out of reach

beyond the eye's catch

step out car

feel the ping of silence, deeply-alive zing

crowd in and then,

into the slot of torched horizon

the orange world slips . . .




S T, 19 May 2013
feel that deep humming of the car, as we finally decide to roll along that country ride.....yesterday saturn-day :)

redemption humbly sought in the passing of hills and vales

lovely...all along the eastern escarpment of the beautiful Mercy-Valley...not far from Lake Great Bear on southern Jupiter :)

yet evening cold can sink so hard and fast in the countryside (best be prepared :)

away from all the noise and bustle - rolling, green dales and oh blue, blue, blue....






sub-entry:

'sudden cold'


1.
how dreaded that sudden coldness
press downward
crouch tight upon shoulder
drape your chilly cape over me
clench your claws into soft flesh
hover abrupt around nostrils
whisper icy whittler-words
sinking into pores, settle on
pinched nose-end, fingertips and toes
from across the chasm, silent eyes admonish
burning freeze stick so hard
hug disfavoured hart

oh cold silence, how you **** me!



2.
envelops round me
try in vain to wrap my head around this

warm heart
take this thing and throw it in the dump

(can't
just can't)



3.
blanket of love
whopping oblivion away

seek still
to redeem.
 Feb 2013 Bozhidar Pangelov
L G V
Anglophilia
An early passion
one cannot say
when or why
perhaps his father's admiration
or was it his mother's apprehension
for them

Leaves of sweet ruby tea
hot ginger pasties
glory of candle skinned  ladies
the warm eyes and cold hearts
what lovely cats you have

Avon flows, its quiet cenote waters
surrounding the poetical urns
Cheery children
noses against windows
those of shopkeepers
that smothered
Napoleon

Yes, Avon flows
the timely midnight trains
to a myriad country stations
all the many
noble selfish
ideals
Joy of bright roses
in a small garden below
where the Keats still play
Adam and Eve
and hear the City's pride
its mechanical soul  
sing its hollow lonely tune again
Oh, where did all the angels go?
you make your vision plain in every word
the pulse of nature moving in full heat
and yet we strain for sight of the right bird

nothing is clear all eyesight is quite blurred
the trip is over none will come to greet
you make your vision plain in every word

since on your tongue all truth has been conferred
but this hard fact we're made of bone and meat
and yet we strain for sight of the right bird

proclaiming season's changes have recurred
but time is motion every year more fleet
you make your vision plain in every word

including those that we have not yet heard
break out of silence still our peace is sweet
and yet we strain for sight of the right bird

to wake the morning and to cry absurd
notes of redemption for each empty street
you make your vision plain in every word
and yet we strain for sight of the right bird
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