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The funny thing is
It didn't take a kiss
Or even a hug

You didn't have to smile
Or make me laugh

I liked you from the moment
You opened your eyes
And looked into mine

It was only a moment
But it felt like a century

All of a sudden
Locked in the gaze
I knew exactly who you were
As we lay beneath the stars,
Here I lay among the scars
The world is black and white to most,
But to me the world is just a ghost
My heart was solely yours to find,
And long after came my mind
The black and white became so clear,
I was yours and you were here
The heat of summer came around,
All our clothes fell to the ground
But I could not be yours to keep,
That idea seemed incomplete
For as the autumn leafes took fall,
I was no longer yours to call
I knew some day that it would end,
For now I needed just a friend
A friend in you was a friend in me,
We seemed to be so joyous and free
You came so quickly and dug so deep,
I wished I was only yours to keep
So here i lay beneath the stars,
With you the source of my scars
you ask me to pretend.

surely, i can create worlds in my mind.

but

i can not pretend.



sadly sick,

sick, 
sadly.



my reality is made up,

exaggerated by self pity.

this could be the end,

i'm surely positive.



i feel, though.

small things.


the small things

i create in my mind.
 Feb 2014 Boy Gaskell
Antony
options
 Feb 2014 Boy Gaskell
Antony
I distinctly remember a night earlier

this year when I felt like the world was ending.

It wasn't dying climactically or violently,

but peacefully like passing in a deep sleep.

I remember becoming aware 
of my heart beat, shuddering

like a rifled elephant.  Feelings I've

reburied countless times were surfacing

like whales from a depthless sea.  
The ceiling fan slowed,

the air conditioning hummed, a fly trapped

in the window screen beat itself against the mesh.

So ordinary, but so heavy.  

There comes a point when surrendering to life

seems like an intelligent decision.  

It's a tragedy, really...

*a tragedy...
this is months old but the feeling's still the same
What do you see when you look at a person?
Do you see the color of their skin?
Or do you look into their eyes, under that flesh,
Pass those bones
And see who they really are.
Inside their heart, inside their mind, inside their soul
In hopes to get to know that real person.

And not how they behave,
Or by their name,
Or even by what they say

We ought to look pass our cultural differences, and notice that we are as one culture.
One body, one mind made of many
You, Me
Him, Her
Male and Female
Black and White
Mexican and Asian
Muslim and Jew
Christian and even Buddhist
No matter who are, what we believe or where we came from we are one
And we all seem to forget one thing that
All of us, together, on this earth share a single breath of life.

We all have one body,
One mind
One soul
How can I begin to stress that we are one
We are…
The air that fills this earth
We are…
The rays that make up the sun
We are…
The stars in the sky
The birds that soar high
We are, all together…one

The only thing that makes us different is our skin tone
That’s only because some of us produces more melatonin
And in my prayers I’m hoping, that
Some of us will see MLK’s dream
And God’s will for us to be…one
I'm lost in times, trying to find the the ties to bind things together,
trying to figure out the puzzle, with a muzzle covered mind,
I stay quite, bundle my thoughts inside,
hiding my expressions through expressive lies,
Sometimes i wonder should I even try,
I ask why the lies to hide the tears that fall from my eyes.

I hear with my ears, but I don't see clear,  
I don't understand why my footprints should be left in sand.
The sun is bright but it doesn't light the day, from far away
I see the cloud covered mountains.
Hoping to climb without a fall, but it's impossible they say.

Raise me up into the clouds, Lord I pray you lift me up,
let me ride the wings of glory,
let  me fly into tour pathway,
may I ask for a better story
you showed me many things, but I want you to show more,
open my eyes, let me ride the tide to the sea shore.

I write another verse to replace the space of the first that has been erased.
Chaotic thoughts roam freely,
I need my Pen, where are you my friend?
I call upon you once again,
I set you down and now I'm lost in the times trying to find the ties  to.....
 Feb 2014 Boy Gaskell
Lewis-Hugo
There's a magician in the corner,
and he's showing you his tricks,
while you thumb through old photo-
graphs in a vain attempt to grasp
something meaningful from your past.

That trip to Cornwall, when those
gypsies stole your bodyboard, well at
least it made sense to blame them – at the time.
Foot pierced from beneath, blood along
the sandy beach, a trail to your then
present discomfort.

Back in the jingle-jangle room, the magician has
revealed your card – it was the four of hearts, yeah ?
Artificial applause echoes around you and
the photos, you've creased without
even realising.

Familiar faces shift with expressions,
like Freud in motion, acrylic, synthetic
and somewhat flamboyant people. This room
is where it's at, so you keep telling yourself,
character's from Kerouac laughing at the magician
who's dropped his cards, accidental confetti.

As the smoke thickens, your
grip loosens on what church-folk
call reality and perhaps even, dignity.
You return the photos to the mantel-
piece, amongst plastic teeth, tobacco
and important papers.

As your friend interviews himself
in the mirror, and somebody
licks the inside of a plastic bag,
because he's efficient, after all,
you crane your neck upwards and
hysterically laugh at the crazy patterns
in the ceiling.
 Feb 2014 Boy Gaskell
Lewis-Hugo
Prove me a fool, then
I shall dine at your table.
But my mind has not
been as oppressed by
the heavy weight of
sanity's absence,
as you would have liked.

I can see through your
windows, there are no
silk curtains like you
desire and crave, a guise
to hide what really
goes on in the darkness
of your deeply worrying mind.

You think of me as a
wounded deer, who dared
to stare for too long,
helplessly strewn across the side
of your road, carrying vehicles
quickly along to better places.

That long instructing finger
of yours, points to billboards
who say that I can be someone,
live the lives of those I see
behind a glass shield, so much
more fragile than you think.

I am content atop my fort,
while my foundations may
be small, they are stronger
than ignorance and folly,
and I do not preach to ants
to reach heights only to fall
back down into a dust of your dirt.

I will never dine with you,
and I will never come knocking
at your door, as I am sure that
one day your idiot soldiers
will see behind the canvas of
mistrust.
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