The furniture in my mind could do with some feng shui
The comforter's in front of the doorway
and the television's on the floor
Static electricity when I try to explain
all of these things within my brain
I wanna ask if it's okay to
relieve myself of my meanderings
Will I be locked away after I have said something
that shook my core and changed my course
always defensive or raw and coarse
I just want to be true to myself and to you
I just want to know the answers to questions
Iv'e been dreaming through
Maybe tomorrow or on a Sunday
I'll wake up and It'll all be okay
Because I have been thinking about my
life and everything in between
If there is no life after death
I'd like to understand the meaning
I want to talk about the cosmos and things I can't see
the ghosts of my desires self-inflicted injuries
I want to hear in my soul that music that is in silence
after it has been interrupted by some perceived violence
To disconnect from the illusions
that others told me I should pursue-
Sports cars, a marriage, a big house with a baby carriage
Maybe I believe in something else
That at times I ignore from inside myself
There is no right way
So I'll dance, sing and sway
to the music that only I am hearing
while others around me are pondering
"What is he dancing to?"

This barren street at night
       Dust storms
Picking up the Autumn leaves
In cyclones
Decorations lingering
Halloween ghost
Hanging from a tree
The sensation of a witch
Being born at every
Hit of my cigarette
Wondering why more
   Other lost souls
Are not outside smoking
Cigarettes shaking in hoodies
That are too large
For them
Trying to solve this universe

The wave that crashed
my soul
The seashells bedecked in gold
The mess I couldn't erase
with every trace of constellations
pulsated a face
And the day gone black
under a bedsheet
Wine spilled on a cuffling
The longing for drizzle
and rain
The levitation from the
Earth like tripping windowpane
A watchtower showing you home
You are the well I'm crawling
down
( To float in the clearlight )
The alchemy and sigils in stone
A voice that mumbles
in my sound ears when I'm alone.

What to write
Whom to think about?
Tommorow becomes today like
Pieces of clay awaiting to be
Played with
I've sunken in my third eye
I've forgotten about my day job
Silence speaks
The keeper of secrets seems to
Sleep
I've done more through my slumber
Than any wide-eyed-far-off-dreamer
I've stolen the sacred keys and
Felt the whole-hearted heaviness
Of belonging to someone
Many someone's
Times seem to creak
As old floors in
Even older housing
Like an ancient breeze
Breathed to life
By keeps
Having a one and only to
Seep through my dreary
Eyes
Tonight's my last night on
Earth
What does one do?
Whom to confide to?
To be amused in frankincense
And lavender
A dew drop on rose petals
Awakened by the settled air
Growing wiser
Breeded by violence
Along a moonscapes splendor
But it's now November
Tides washed over my memory
I'm misplaced in time
And space
Is this all I can utter?
No resounded calls of wonder?
All I've seen
All I've met
All I've loved
All I've hated
All I wished for
All I've  felt
All I've escaped from
All I've dealt
Was I just a vision that grew up?
Learned to wash the dishes and
Lessened the cigarettes I've smoked
The mediocrity as gleam'ed as
The moonshine
Caught in the back of my throat
A longing for the Neverland of
Alice's talking flora

Standing at the grocery store
Purchasing some tea
Eyeing magazines of kings
And queens
I approach the counter and see those
Icons of notoriety who love the people who
Worship them
To see what the masses heart belies...
False idols on pedestals
Dripping nectar, donning diamonds and
Pretty halos of foxglove-laurel.
What Is it that gives us purpose?
Your likeness caught within a picture
Hung up with tacks
A poster In some teen's boudoir?
Mirrors shattered and
Speculations
Will my person be controversial?
Completely surrounded by
Rumors and
The flashy sparks of cameras.

So Vogue says you need
Plastic surgery
And collagen.
Redeem your youth
(Slice thy skin)
After all ugliness is a sin

Am I special?
The Presley of Instagram?
A showcase in everyone's dream
The Monroe of Tweets
You James Dean fiends
You know taking
Selfies is the new disease
I pray! Matinee idols
Do you want to live forever?
Facebook me a savior
Re blog me till I'm real and
Could you tell me who I am?
I've lost myself in Wonderland

Speaking to me-passenger-
All of us on the train
Sailing through the settling
Rain
It's rough not to shut my eyes
In peaceful dark
I blink heavily like a song was
Directed- special- to me- while we converse of omnipotence and
The weather
Beloved to me as my Hallow's Eve
When wandering spooks caress the
Ankles of passerby babes
Bedecked in sheets disguised as
Ghosts
I held your hand close to my lips
And rubbed your fingertips
On it's sensuous
Curve once or twice
I recall we were tangled in bed
In the afternoon
I was still getting to know you
Learning to taste your distinct
Favors and
Severe ways like it was listed in ink on my wrist

P.S-
Making love to you was like Dropping acid

We talked of dreams
Delusions and deceptions.
Medications and potions.
Cities and beaches.
We went stargazing in
The snow covered mountain
I saw two shooting stars while
Your chin rested on my collar
Bone.
After our train derailed into
A madness that we hardly
Remember
( Because of the benzos)
What are we now?
Where do we go?
I shall shut my thoughts
In a casket as a secret to myself
And sit on bent knees
In front of figurines
Of the ****** Mary
In dripping wax- candle lit-
Blue rooms praying-wishing
For our tomorrow to be spent Redeemed from the ashy devils
That almost consumed us
Ah! meanderings
On amphetamines
Staring back at Marlboro
Draped-smoky-Sapphire eyes

Feeling overgrown, outworn and
Almost all alone.
While I lived In said frustrated fashion I swear,
Among my things,(which felt misplaced)
I couldn't find my passion;
How I wanted It all!
Envisioning a sense of wholesome
Wellness while
The ticking, pointed numbers
Hung symptomatic on the wall
(And I wanted to laugh.)
Amused myself In contemplation,
Glancing from up road ...
To down road.
I was in isolation with
No flocks or
Passerby's merrily striding by only
My own shadow following.
With dilated bulging eyes
Gargoyles leering on ledges
Against stone
In dimly lit castle cities
Looked down; stern and foreboding.
I was haunted and
Disarmingly daunted
And old.
Society had left me
Literally brittle and frozen;
The lifestyle had made me cold.
(Suddenly more profusely)
Endlessly turning choirs of
Music In the sea of my heart;
I pulled, I scratched
Deep within my eyelids'
Glazed over and vexed'
(Raging)
It didn't budge!
It was my madness, I heard and
It drove me away to seek my fear;
Solace In my own decay!
Now I feel free and
I can glow once more.
For the first time since
You and I embraced
Our goodbyes..
This road is now paved all
Golden and safe;
A turning point like the crush of a wave.
With a smiling gaze
I listen to my inner faith;
Reaping what I gave!
Singing my spirit and speaking with
Understanding about
The oneness of being.