Pulling out my stitches, again.
Ripping away my dreams, again.
Screaming so loud! It is pushing me to listen.
Have I missed something?
Something that infects my faith, because I'm dazed;
Just blurred out completely!
I am broken down and feel myself shrinking
Away. One mistake
And I drink up my tears;
Not a soul escapes this prison as
I'm petrified.

Feeling overgrown, outworn and
Almost all alone.
While I lived In said frustrated fashion I swear,
Among my things,(which felt misplaced)
I couldn't find my passion;
How I wanted It all!
Envisioning a sense of wholesome
Wellness while
The ticking, pointed numbers
Hung symptomatic on the wall
(And I wanted to laugh.)
Amused myself In contemplation,
Glancing from up road ...
To down road.
I was in isolation with
No flocks or
Passerby's merrily striding by only
My own shadow following.
With dilated bulging eyes
Gargoyles leering on ledges
Against stone
In dimly lit castle cities
Looked down; stern and foreboding.
I was haunted and
Disarmingly daunted
And old.
Society had left me
Literally brittle and frozen;
The lifestyle had made me cold.
(Suddenly more profusely)
Endlessly turning choirs of
Music In the sea of my heart;
I pulled, I scratched
Deep within my eyelids'
Glazed over and vexed'
(Raging)
It didn't budge!
It was my madness, I heard and
It drove me away to seek my fear;
Solace In my own decay!
Now I feel free and
I can glow once more.
For the first time since
You and I embraced
Our goodbyes..
This road is now paved all
Golden and safe;
A turning point like the crush of a wave.
With a smiling gaze
I listen to my inner faith;
Reaping what I gave!
Singing my spirit and speaking with
Understanding about
The oneness of being.

Thought I saw the rolling storms
In the dustbin clouds. Thought I
Heard ghouls moaning through
Their wandering shrouds.
Felt something stirring
Deep deep
Beneath the Sea.
(Maybe It was the titans calling out to me)
My world seemed to shake and shriek
With a pressing voice that rang out
"For evermore,
For evermore".
Whether It was a whimper, or the
Passing of a lush...
Whether It was through a thicket, a
Mountain, or a
Touch
Or whether it wasn't
Any sound audible enough
To hear-
Haunting some hollowed ground where it seemed to appear.
Through the creaking In the floor, and
The quiet of the well...
(Where your hair stands up when your heart strings bell)
The words don't sit quite right
And you disagree...
(When the mere mention of something seems terrifying)
Imploding bombs of atomic construction
Seem to go off and bruise their function;
Miscellaneous hands
Grappling, pulling,
Letting go;
Reaching for solace for evermore,
For evermore.
When the strawberries have rotted
And the bluebells withered up
When a shivering lake of frost descends on my cup.
When the sadness figures inconspicuous,
Behind tall wall'ed towers,
When no-thing tangible seems real and
Nothing impermanent seems to matter.
Longing for when the leaves swing like a cyclone,
(High beyond the trees)
Where the willows thrive and
The moonshine bleeds;
Till through some epiphany
Like the dawn we finally see,
What beauty In the broken be...
If not beside you and not within me.

Such grand numbers of soldiers
Marching In ashen houses:
Bitten asunder, On fire.
Gripping agony so pale
(With courage tested to no avail)
Simply lost in camaraderie
That surely contracts some vague
Displaced reaper,
(If not at you're back then at you're door)
Inquiring,
"What are you fighting for?"
Hopefully for something as great as the
Fire colored skies of my town and
For something as lovely as the girls of my town;
I carry my home wherever I go.

Divine discontent seeping from the pores
In a livid morning;
(Slowly turning, fireworks exploding)
A melted shore disappearing
Upon some drench'ed pier.
We lingered with honor and blisters,
Seagulls swoop In large groups watching
Us while we laugh.
Crept inside my tumultuous heart
And changed my mechanisms from
Sleek to sharp.
(It was like a chemical
Interacting)

Transforming experiments In
Pounding myself against coarse
Aggravated callings in my right ear-
And a tweeting bird of infinite shape in my left.
Am I naive?
I had spangled dreams centered on devotion;
Hoped to be ready to drink the poison
Through bleeding and sores;
Year to spotted year.

Slowly dragging heavy feet
Along some sinking, flooded street;
Glimpses of my face in quaint stamped windows and
Street signs squeak, pushed by a breeze.
Flashback!!!
Headed into the coal black,
Wanting to turn back!
(A buzzing hum, a swollen drum)
Bang, Bang, Bang!!!

Where do my nights go?
Rough yet supple-
Sublime and dismal.
Maybe a pill (or five)
Will help:
My medicinal soothing soap.
Whisper sun rays of hope
Through a distracted period of maladjusted
Fractured-like pieces
Cascading onward by buildings and buses;

Skyscraper mornings and light rail nights.
Then a Bang, a Fear, a Flight
Wandering and pondering...
Seemingly lost expressions
Of a fixed world, with fixed suspicions, and
Amused paranoid delusions
****** at you!
Suspended in a haste!
Desperate chase never fully acknowledged .
(Or even understood)
I'm under a hood trying to hide
Don't get weary of all the **** in sight
For in this place a
Scream or  paradise
Could be one In the same;
Convoluted via chemical surroundings.

A cosmic mysticism glittering
Like a tunnel
Of violet light;
Whistling creatures in the trees
By wishing wells, casting spells
Throughout the night.
Soft chorus' echoing, crouching
Behind the leaves.
The blue-less madness of
Being trapped in limbo,
Endless whispers out-of sight,
Dreaming;
Befriending a serpent to outgrow woe.

{Comets and things inflamed,
Descended to Earth and
Became estranged..}

Infallible summer enthusiasms
Proceed to weary winter woes that
Soothe you like an infection,
Rising from your toes.
Your heart has been beaten, stretched, mauled
Then finally broken but you persevered
With few words spoken;
A hopeless wish that stripped
You bear...
That lit you on fire,
A gentle switch called "desire" diagnosed to
Align your chakras.
An empty room other-side a tightly closed door
May feel safe, but you want more:
To dazzle a viewer with a kind of wink!
How'd you do It....
Make him grow!
Make him shrink!
Blazing through a deep dark blanket
That is sublimely wrapped
(And one can sense it)
A blissful abandon akin to
Sliding down frosty mountains; laughing!
Iron maiden sickly motions;
Something harbored is most times stolen while
They turn the other cheek
And they still have a mind to speak!
Taken into themselves
Wine and bread
Still alive-
(But mostly dead)
What remains rusts;
Colliding as we do, the world and us.

Luminous pulse caught
Inside my brain, and
My eyes close but I'm still awake-
Wondering...
Do you think of me like I always think of you...
And
Can you still hear my voice
Ringing when I'm gone;
Unseen, but felt still.
So I've become the ***** geisha and
I want someone else to love me too much;
I never seem to find love so
I pursue the hunted rush.
(A paradox of safety
Because the closer to
Death you are, is the
Most awake you feel)
Seems a dream, that's all
You'll  only ever be, a dream when you
Caress my legs and slither through
My blueberry vein.
I just want to feel complete again and feel
Comfort in the quiet of being alone.
Another day does not mean
Yesterday has faded and retreated
Away.
You are a phantom In full flight,
Coming on hazy, as the night
Smashing all the lights.